I met a girl (HB8, 21 years old) from Eastern-Europe a while ago, we went on a day 2, some drinks at a bar, some light kino from my side but no k-close.

Then I invited her for dinner at my place and afterwards we sat on the couch.
Now the problem is: she is not receptive to my kino and backs off - hence I cannot escalate (which was also the case in the bar). She doesn't touch me by herself, which may be because she's quite insecure of herself.

But more worryingly: when I try to slowly escalate the kino (first putting my hand on her arm for 2 seconds in a funny moment, then on her leg for 2 seconds and so on), she seems to back off. I noticed from her body language that she reseated herself farther away from me on the couch as i tried to escalate kino. I tried to start kinoing slowly again from the beginning but I just seemed to hit the same barrier.

I am really puzzled by this as I'm usually able to escalate when a girl comes over to my place. She stayed quite late, until 1 o clock in the night, but I simply couldn't escalate further as I noticed that she was really not receptive to it and would take distance - now it feels like it has been comfort building only (although to me it felt there was enough comfort already - about 7 hours in total we spent together now).

What do you think of this? I sent her a message on Facebook 4 days ago to meet up again but she hasn't replied yet.

She is quite insecure, didn't look me in the eyes for long, and also seems to be emotionally unstable, and has a bad relation with her parents and only sees her father 1 time per year, this was a red flag for me when she told me this (we spoke about negative emotions only 5% of the time) - or because it's because of her Eastern European background that she's more reserved.

Mock it. Do some freeze out stuff. When she moves away, don't make a big deal out of it, just turn a little bit and don't face her. Or exaggerate it and just run to the other side of the room. Break the tension with some C/F stuff. There's a ton of options available in that kind of situation.

yeah i just acted like i didn't even notice it.

she seemed really shy, also never looked me in the eyes for long.

Insecurity issues I guess. I'd say if all the things I said don't work, move on and find another girl. If she really does have intimacy issues you don't want to have to deal with that.

But I say give it at least one more try, see if you can get her out of her shell.

Those are all excuses. She came over for dinner so she was expecting to get laid. But you didn't deliver.

You have to remember that all women are easy. When you have the opportunity to nail a girl, you can - because she wants it. Believe me. Girls are freaks. For example, I had the opportunity to bang a cute Australian girl, but I didn't, cause I made the stupid mistake of thinking it was a good idea to get to know her first. So when I had the opportunity to kiss her, I didn't. Needless to say, I didn't get any from her, ever.

But lets contrast that idea with a situation opposite of that. A girl asked me to help her move. I had never met up with her before, but she gave me her number and showed me interest by replying to my texts and taking my calls. And that's all I needed to be convinced that this girl wanted me inside of her. That's all they'll give you most of the time anyway. So when I helped her move, I told her she owed me a fresh lemonade for the effort, she got me a drink, then I just started kissing her when I had the chance. To make a long story short, I got more than a happy ending.

Lesson: Don't ever doubt that a girl doesn't want to fuck you if she has given you her number. Girls don't give strangers their numbers who they won't fuck. Most men are too insecure or unsure of themselves (where they stand) to really believe that a girl who goes out with you will fuck you.

The way I see it if I don't get any from the girls I pick up then *I* must have screwed up somewhere.

And just to make my point, how do you explain falling out of interest to girls who've you picked up after failing to make a real move? Just goes to show you that there real interest was never really in being your friend. So if they don't want to really be your friend, what else could they possibly want from you?

Took me a long time to realize that.

yeah you're probably right - it's really fascinating how different girls are, never experienced such a barrier to getting physical before. i thought i needed more comfort building when she put up the barrier, but as she hasn't replied to my last message of 5 days ago, i guess i was wrong.