Hi guys,

I'm relatively new to this world. I met a new girl on POF two weeks ago, and have been texting quite a bit. I'm now at a sticking point.

We had the following convo:

Her: I am so embarrassed, I didn't mean to put all those kisses on that last text xx
Me: sure you didn't are you always this keen, or just with guys you really like? Haha x
Her: what makes you think I even like you? That was an accident I swear! And I can't believe you only put one kiss in tht last message! Xx
Me: ok, well seeing as you put yourself out there before, here are 3 (treasure them ) xxx
Her: Haha I did NOT put myself out there with those kisses....I was purely accidental so don't you go thinking you now have the upper hand ok?! :p. x
Me: Haha, I've always had the upper hand xx

That was 48hrs ago and I've not had a reply. Was I too arrogant? Our date is supposed to be tomorrow.

If I text her now, Does it not then insinuate that she has the 'upper hand' as it were, and is tht not important?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

Wait another 48 hours. If nothing... then text her: Wanna help me rob a bank?

Then role play and escalate.

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

Answer based on the title alone, since it covers all your questions anyways Pre-first date texting, you can sparingly text her a bit for rapport building, but she's read your entire profile I assume so you probably don't have to do that; other than that your texting should be devoted entirely to setting up a first date - if you keep sending her "friendly texts" you'll be just that, another guy who texts her everyday but doesn't do anything

and I'd try not to be the last to send a text; it would've been perfectly fine if you didn't reply to "I did NOT put myself out there...."; especially since it would've drove her crazy thinking about it
I'd wait a bit more than 24 hours, it's not like 40 hours later she's gunna go "oh wait I forgot to text him 2 days ago" - in reality it just doesn't happen...
As for the rob a bank, if she says yes, find a way to turn that into a date, if she says no, that's easier to turn into a date - because "just friends" don't go on dates, "just friends" only text eachother

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To game at your best you have to be willing to do your worst.

Let me just make a general point on strategy going forward.

Chill with the fucking texting. Its much, much easier to fuck up using text then it is to increase attraction by using text. You are just providing her more fodder to doubt you and your date. Also, even though you may be controlling the frame, in the content of the actual text, are you controlling the frame given that shes dictating how often you are responding, or given the time between texts, or in the length of the texts? If you already have a date set up, your objective is not to fuck it up before the date, not try to get her more attracted via words and a grayscale screen. Save your magic and good game until you are face to face.

The notion that you can use text to increase attraction and lubricate your path to success was very attractive to me at one time. Over the years, after many different text approaches, ive found that it doesn't work nearly as well in practice as it does in theory.

From the texts you posted here she is already shit testing you hard which makes your situation even more pernicious.. Don't get tricked.

Future reference:

In the case of this text convo, she was clearly giving you an open invite to sexually gauge her while also creating sexual energy. With her bringing up the kisses, you should of capitalized on this opportunity to show your sexual intent as well as gauge her sexuality.

Here is an example:

You: Don't be embarrassed, kisses are a good thing.
Are you a good kisser?

Her: ( doesnt really matter what she says)
You: Where is your favorite place to be kissed?
Her: blah blah
You: What turns you on the most?

If she keeps complying, you keep going. It can get hot really quick. Keep the entire conversation sexual. If it gets hot and deep, she is good to go,

If it reaches a stand still and she is not willing to go further with the convo, it's time to back off and keep it at that level, you can then gauge how open she is and what your lay potential will be. Then set an appropriate game plan for the seduction during the date.

What you want to do here is gauge her sexuality as well as associate yourself with sex. By associating yourself with sex, if she has interest in you and meets to hang out, sex or sexual contact will be implied. In other words, if you open her up sexually before your encounter and she still comes, she will most likely give up some sort of sexual gratification.


This response set the mood for the entire conversation and did not help your cause what so ever. Luckily this girl is already quite into you.

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Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.