There's this HB at my school gym. I kind of know her, or at least "know of" her and I'm assuming she "knows of" me. I caught her looking at me (or at least in my direction) a few times and I feel like she's kind of interested. I kind of avoided looking at her because I didn't want to come off as a creep. I don't want to approach at the gym but I also don't want her to lose interest.

How should I deal with this situation. Approaching her at the gym is not an option. I'm assuming I'll see her some time in the next month or two at a party. I want to make my approach then.

If I see her at my school gym in the meantime, how should I react. Should I make eye contact with her? Should I try and wait until she's looking at me? Or should I just not even bother and pretend she's just another girl at the gym?

Hah.

Welcome to the school version of me.

I hate to tell you this, but approaching her in the gym is ABSOLUTELY an option. Wait for her for 1 to TWO month when you see her at a party? And yet you also don't want her to lose interest? I think this a dreamer's gamble.

You're just weeding it out logistically. You can go in indirectly. There's no sexual tension to it, and it's social at best. Technically semi-direct is better - Just go up and say "I thought you could use a closer look."

If she says of what?

"My face ...you were burning me with your eyes."

"Whats your name?"

And then you can go into conversation.

Or best case scenario is just go across the gym and just be social. Social is purely just that.

Why can't you do it at the gym?

Approaching her at the gym is not an option...

I've done a a lot of research and it was pretty unanimous that you just don't approach girls as gyms.

I'd much rather just know how to deal with eye contact at the gym. Waiting to approach at a party makes more logical sense to me because at least I already have something to talk about "the gym" and there are a few good openers I can use about seeing her at the gym or her looking at me at the gym. On top of all that my chances on bringing her back from a party are a lot better than at the gym.

Really...its unanimous? I didn't get the memo. And I've hit on girls at the gym all the time. From meet to close. In all honesty, I think someone who practices long term indirect will be able to help. I just don't see this working out for you in any way.

You want to learn how to deal with eye contact at the gym...um newsflash: if you don't act on it, she'll assume you're not interested. Waiting 1 to 2 months also won't win you any favors. She may just remember the guy who was too scared to come up to her at the gym, leaving your gym openers to fall flat in their face.

"pretty unanimous"... and if you didn't get the memo, you have probably done 0 research and I'm just going to go ahead and assume you've never yourself approached a girl at the gym.

You know, you are right, sure it might work, but where does it go from there... "So maybe you can write your number on my shirt using my sweat"... I'm no pro PUA and gaming at a gym seems out of my league right now. Not to mention I go to the gym to workout, I like working out. I'm also going to assume your one of those guys who goes to the gym and chats with everyone and does zero lifting. When I game, I don't do it at the gym, it's that simple.

I appreciate your advice but I really don't think you even have much experience.

You are right. I don't do 'research' sitting at home asking about what would happen if I did this and this. I go out and I do it.

Good luck. But unlike most people if I'm getting eye contact, I go and talk to someone. I don't keep lifting weights.

Lets get real, despite the excuse you're using for yourself that you are there "actually lifting weights" and then make the statement that I'm clearly sitting on the gym benches doing no lifting, you are not training for the olympics or are so focused that you're claiming you can pick up "interested" eye contacts and yet don't act on them because of your machismo.

You're just frankly too scared, and the fact that you don't game at the gym proves just one thing: you have that much less choice. And if you really want to know, it can go from the gym to dinner. But you wouldn't really know this...beeeecauseee you never tried : ). So I just feel sorry for you on a whole other level that you needed to lash out at assuming I have no experience (not that I really care) but because you're so apt to the reality that nothing can come from talking to girls at the gym. It's an arrogant way of thinking to protect your own ego.

But seriously...good luck. Come back in 3 months time and let me know how it went for you.

You seriously need to change your perspective on this. PU is not about "research" it's about EXPERIENCE. You don't become good at socializing via reading internet articles, but by socializing.

I've posted in other gym threads and I HAVE successfully opened in the gym. To say it's not an option is AFC shit and makes zero sense. Trust me if she's a HB8+ she WILL lose interest give enough inaction on your part because she'll conclude you are too scared to talk to her, so why would she want to be with you??

When she makes eye contact, just smile and say, "hey" or "you can say hi/talk to me you know!" or "how do you focus on your workout when you're staring/mugging me so much?" (C&F).

From there, talk about how you focus, what you think other people think about during their workout, is she training for sports, the crazy PE teacher, etc. Lower your standards on what you need to say, just talk like shes a good friend.

If a girl is making eye contact with you it doesn't matter if you're in the gym, church, club or morgue, if you don't approach you are afc and she won't respect you when you meet her 2 months later. I'm willing to bet money that if Arnold were in the gym and some hottie was checking him out, he would take 10 minutes out of his workout to game her. Your excuses just aren't working. We aren't buying it. I know it's intimidating with all those other meat-heads around watching your game, but you can do this. Take the advice give by RedCali, change the wording if you need to, seriously it'll only take a couple of minutes to open and brief chat. Good luck, bro!

Thanks for the additional replies.

I'd just like to point out again that I'm no pro PUA and approaching her at the gym is not an option. Yes, I am making an excuse but I'm sure you've all been in situations where you just felt incapable of doing something.

RedCali you've made some very good points and you seem to have a lot more experience then CaptainJack. I feel like he's one of those AFC's that feels more comfortable sitting behind a computer giving directions than actually gaming in the field as you can tell by the fact he still hasn't realized I wont listen to him.

I wish I would use your advice but it just isn't going to happen in the gym. I will approach if I see her elsewhere though. And suppose I don't see her for a few months or even ever again, well it's only one HB and theres plenty more... You should know that after all the "experience" you have (@CaptainJack)

approach her the next time you see her at the gym just because you are afraid to approach her in the Gym. You are limiting yourself. You need to manup and do this. Don't get mad at Captain because he is pointing out the obvious. What if you never see her anywhere else but the gym? What if she gets a bf tomorrow? what if you never see her again?

do you have any legit reasons why you don't want to approach her at the gym?

If I never see her again or she gets a bf, well then I move on. It's not like I really ever talked to her and she isn't an HB10. I mean it would suck to have a lost opportunity but it is only an opportunity nonetheless. It's just like being rejected, you move on, no big.

The reasons I don't want to approach her at the gym are:

1. From what I've heard and read, girls don't like being approached at the gym. And yes I have not "experienced" or "tried" but I'd rather just wait until a party or bar when I'm atop my game.

2. The chances of it actually leading anywhere are slim.

3. Personally, I hate people who socialize at the gym. Well at least people who socialize more than they workout.

4. Finally I'm kind of scared just because it's unfamiliar territory for gaming. Sure you need to start somewhere but I'm perfectly fine with not having the gym as a field for game. I'd rather just let her know I'm interested but I guess there is no real way to do this without approaching.

Also I apologize if I'm coming off as a dick. I don't mean to.

Dude you don't know until you try. Most of the people in the gym are focused on their workout and they don't care what you are doing. You don't even know this girl its not like its going to hurt your social identity if you fail; she doesn't know you!

I have approached girls in the middle of their workout on the treadmill and have succeed. You just have to do it and have confidence.

The gym is a good place to pick up, especially if you have any kind of muslce. You get a 'pump' then go talk to her...

I'd stay away from making any type of direct approach at the gym. She could be looking at you thinking she recognizes you, being too direct could in fact scare her off and taint her gym experience. In general, women are there to work out, the hotter they are, the more general stares they get from men throughout their day.

Generally the gym is a place women take seriously and a majority of them do not wish to be approached. This is why "female only" gyms are so popular. As well as why women are always wearing headphones.

However! if you feel she is giving you sufficient eye contact and is showing some interest. I suggest you at least get into her mind. Make very indirect contact. A simple polite hello, How's it going, my name is blah blah. As if you would with anyone( guy or girl). Keep it friendly only. You could mention that you think you have seen her around quite often and you may even have some mutual friends.

Make it brief and polite, then get back to working out.

What you are doing here is getting into her head. When you see her again, if she has interest in you, she will show it through her mannerisms and you should see a significant difference in her body language and facial expressions and general persona. If she goes out of her way to talk to you again, this is a great sign.


By keeping it friendly, you are creating comfort. When people are comfortable, they tend to show a lot more unconscious tells. Look for the signs. If you get enough cue's the next time you see her. Still respect her workout, and perhaps chat her up either after she's done in the lobby or outside of the gym.

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Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.

I think you should communicate with her.

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