So my story begins about 3 months ago when I broke up with my girlfriend of 16yrs. It just wasn't working out and basically the love was gone. Well to make matters worse I have 1 child with her and another on the way in June. The final push for the breakup was because I started getting interested in another woman. Me and the new woman started dating for about 2 months and everything was going great. She seemed to be showing increased interest in me and I did for her.

The third month came around and we started getting real close and ended up having an official relationship. About 2 weeks ago I told the girl that I was in love with her, she didn't respond back but we didn't lose any ground because of it. So I thought... I even asked her if it bothered her if I told her I loved her, supposedly it didn't. For the past 2 weeks I've been saying it regularly and about 4 days ago she started getting weird. She never really wanted to talk about the relationship so I was kinda in the dark as far as her feelings were concerned. I finally asked her how she felt about me and I get the:

"Were still boyfriend / girlfriend but I like you as a friend, I enjoy hanging out with you but I haven't developed those deeper feeling you have yet. We should slow down and if we have to take a step or two back". So as you can imagine that wasn't very easy to take. I do really love the girl but the love is kinda laced with oneitis and its keeping me from building the attraction to revive this relationship. I'm trying to slow the relationship down and knocked all the "I love you" shit off to hopefully turn the situation around.

It's just frustrating that even though I have kino with her and she seems to be having a good time with me she's starting to pull away in other aspects. Hell a week ago it was babe this, sweetie that and she was always ready to kiss me at the end of a date. Now there is none of that. Guess I'm just looking for some advice on how to proceed. I want to salvage this relationship but not sure how to turn the tables, kill the oneitis and get her pursuing me instead of constantly chasing her.

Once you get done laughing, any advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks guys.

Okay, if she isn't feeling anything for you yet, she's not going to anytime soon. You are just like everyone else, looking for ideas how to win that one girl back. If you read about how to get women you will realize that she is not that special. Especially when you have eight girls that are into you.

Tell her you think you two are better off friends and that you don't want to date. You'll be suprised at her response to that.

That's the thing, a week ago there was noticeable feelings there but all of a sudden she shuts down and goes the whole "we're friends" route. I guess that its a lost cause and actually it might being interesting to see how she would react to the whole "we're better off as friend, I don't want to date" idea. Hearing her talk about her past relationships she seems to have some emotional damage. I was the first guy in a long time she labeled as her boyfriend and all the other guys seemed to constantly hurt her / ignore her. I don't think she knows how to react to when a guy treats her with love and respect. Kinda sad really, just wanted to be that guy that changes her perception of love.

Thanks for the advice.

Just thought i would add this if its of any use went through a similar thing myself if shes insecure you will need to build confidence with her , yes you need to be a bit alfa but its hard building confidence in insecure women so the problem is if you get this woman back to where you want her you may still have a lifetime of insecurtys to deal with like , why are you looking at that girl and stuff like that its very hard to live with hope its of some use

A little update on my situation. After thinking about it I realize that I was being way to fucking needy with this girl. I talked it out with her tonight and we mutually came to the decision to go back to being friends. Going to re-frame the situation and make it a learning experience. Going to tighten my game up and have fun being single. Drop the needy shit and maybe reengage her later on when we build up a mutual attraction to each other.

Best advice, Start seeing other woman... Not only will she come running, You can explore what is out there. The last thing you want to do is get locked into a scarcity mind frame with a woman who isn't on the same level as you are as far as the relationship goes.

The more you chase, they further and fast they will run.

_________________
Seven SS

Crawling Out Of Neediness When First Dating


This is the video that I watched the other night that snapped me out of the needy / scarcity mind frame. Only been "just friends" for a few hours and already talking to other girls. I think everything will work out for the best. thanks for all the good advice.

Awesome man, I wish you the best!

_________________
Seven SS