Running out of things to say...help



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PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2012 12:13 pm 
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After I open a set, or just are in a generally conversation, very shortly I run out of things to say.

What do you guys talk about, and HOW? I don`t want it to look like an jobinterview either..

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PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2012 12:42 pm 
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ask what places she has been to in the world. most people love to talk about places theyve been.


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PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2012 2:01 pm 
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I thought i would have the same problem so I just look around and searched for new things to talk about sometimes even the news can have interesting things to talk about. People are usually very opinionated given the right topic so if you are poking around you'll find something both of you share and then talk about that, this girl I've talk to one day caught me off guard believing she had been abducted by aliens but that besides the point.


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PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2012 2:41 pm 
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After I open a set, or just are in a generally conversation, very shortly I run out of things to say.

What do you guys talk about, and HOW? I don`t want it to look like an jobinterview either..
I have thought about it this a LOT and is one of the things I used to worry about most, even though I've always been a good conversationalist (with people my own age that is). Pointers.


Stay out of your head and focus on the person in front of you, if you actually listen, as opposed to thinking what you are going to say in your head, you will be able to stay stuff back.


If this is at a bar or a cold approach, realise you have the opportunity to say/do whatever in the world you want and with no consequences practice saying whatever you want.

What do you talk about with your friends, even shy people have conversations that last hours with friends. You've been on the earth for however many YEARS and so has she you could generate tons of convo.

Especially at first you could make statements over questions to avoid interviewer mode. E.g Instead of "What do you do?"-- " You have the vibe of an artist" why? blah blah And when you do ask questions ask big questions the why's and the emotions etc.

Build momentum go to the bar with someone who puts you into that social/ talkative state. Or have your phone with you in case you lose that feeling and can text/ call friends. Practice talking to everyone guy friends, guy strangers girls etc.

Escalating and changing the dynamic of the interaction will shift things big time. If you are talking from a distance and she is about to leave or rejoin her friends she is unlikely to invest in the conversation. If however you are sitting down somewhere or you've already k closed or you've moved location with her things are completely different. You can talk about deeper things and she will contribute more.


If all else fails learn some back up routines and games to give you more self assurance and you can drop them later. (e.g cube, style's rings, jealous ex gf). Some alcohol can be useful as a crutch at first to help you.


And keep practising and you'll realise how easy conversation is.

* Edit: Also if you actually have an interesting life with interesting experiences it will help.

And Chief's guide to outer game (sticky in the pua lounge) has a topic on conversation that is basically screening and qualifying which is interesting.

That's my 2 cents as they say.
GL


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PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2012 7:51 pm 
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I just lie really obviously.

"I'm so tired, I cant believe your energy."
[why are you tired?]
"Oh, I was up all night smoking meth. I have a meth lab in my garage...Just kidding!" (JK added if they seem shocked or take you seriously)

Yay for lying!


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PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 2:02 am 
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when you have a stick point, you can talk about fashion/hair style. easiest topic.
you can compliment her fashion/hairstyle or ask her whose fashion/hairstyle impresses her the most in the club
then you can just comment and joke about it until some other topics come up

improvising is important in keeping the conversation, so it's good to know a lot of things. don't limit yourself to few things only, keep your eyes open. if there is a website to check on what kind of events going on in your city, check it so that you can mention about it then invite the girl to it, which is a convenient way to NC her too.


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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2012 4:30 am 
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Small talk is a good technique to develop.

http://etiquette-tips.com/good-manners- ... small-talk
Quote:
Eleanor Roosevelt had a special way to handle small talks. She went down the alphabet until she felt a listener’s interest. For example, A – I recently came back from Argentina, have you ever been there? B – Yesterday evening I caught Bourne Identity on TV, what a great movie, don’t you think? C –I heard Canon just launched a new photo camera and I can’t wait to test it. Do you like making photos?
There's more to sexual attraction than what you say. But just feeling comfortable driving a conversation will help your confidence, and help trigger more emotions than the usual boring shit that guys do.


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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2012 8:36 am 
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all the above ^^ ideas are good

but to add on that, have a time constraint just incase you think your going to run out of what to say

it certainly helps

Soncheese x


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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2012 3:27 pm 
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Quote:
After I open a set, or just are in a generally conversation, very shortly I run out of things to say.

What do you guys talk about, and HOW? I don`t want it to look like an jobinterview either..
Ah, the art of conversation. 8)
A lot of guys have difficulty with this. However if you know what you're doing literally everything she says can be turned into a conversation piece. Make assumptions about her, ask questions that she doesn't normally hear, give unusual responses, (nothing creepy, just not typical stuff), don't just go question statement question statement. When she answers one of your questions, reply with a statement about whatever you're talking about. If you're asking her about her job, hobbies, etc. Don't start talking about the job or hobby, flip the script and talk about HER related to the job, what it does for her, how her personality meshes with it, if it's always what she's wanted to do.

Conversation is a two way process, you can't just ask questions all the time and suck value from the discussion, you have to add value back into it, and if you can do that, she will reciprocate and the conversation will flow naturally.


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