This is gonna be a huge bummer but i just need to vent.

Ive been studying this shit for a few months and though i know ive made progress in terms of AA, i still feel like i havent grown at all. I dont want to acknowledge the idea that some guys just have it and others dont because then ill accept the fact that im beta and always will be.

But its not a beta-alpha thing, i dont want to look at socializing as some rigid caste system because i dont think people are truly that shallow, and if they were they are the type of people i wouldnt want to hang out with.

Its not that i have no game, its that its still a tool i have which i dont know how to use, and the idea in my head that its something i have to try for holds me back, i over think stuff, i blow out my own frame, and the fact that even thinking in these terms is completely self defeating.

I see the guy with HB hanging off him and i know non of this stuff is going through his head, he doesnt know what pre-selection, negs, DHV stories, or IOIs, hes having a good time being himself the girls love it and i thinking understanding this helps me learn to become it. But it doesnt. It just reminds me of all my perceived flaws which i make real by acknowledging them. Heres my frame right now, im kryptonite to girls. Thats it. or they look at me as their brother and if i move anything towards slightly sexual im a fuckin weirdo.

I just dont get it, i need a break for a bit

Before anyone starts PUA they must have a decent level of being able to hold a convo and confidence, imo.

Thinking about negs and all that shit at once at the start of you getting into it all is a recipe for disaster.

I don't know how social you are but learn how to keep up a conversation, get comofrtable doing this and talking to new people. Start by asking the check out lady how she is.

If you're ok at all that then improve your inner game, work on yourself to become more attractive (there are plenty of threads on here with hints) and then go out and talk to women.

Fuck negs, push and pull, DHV etc it's all bollocks. It works but you don't need it yet. Get used to approaching and talking to new women and then learn about DHV and incorporate that. Once you've got good at than think about push and pull.

Don't over think, just think and do. Don't think what if etc. If you fuck up who cares, it's actually quite a trait to be honest, fucking up and moving on. It makes you into a good character to be with. Be honest 100% of the times.

"Where you checking me out?"
Say yes. Not "errr no I was err.."

You just need to build your confidence, accept shit happens and if you do nothing you'll hate yourself. You have nothing to lose. Learn to not give a fuck and go for it. You said you've progressed with your AA, good. But learn to not give a fuck about that other guy, don't worry about thinking about your frame. As soon as this enters your head stop it. You can stop it because I stopped it. Think about something else, count to 10 or something idk. Anything just stop it.

And remember it all comes down to numbers in the end.

With a good game you can improve your chances. But even with a bad game there is still a (very small) chance you are successful.

So the thing is, there are 2 ways to get more success:

1. Improve your game.

2. Meet more women.

Even if you have nearly no game at all, if you would just talk to 100 women a week, after a few month, you will get laid.

And the best thing, meeting more women will also improve your game, so chances will increase.

But if you have the best game and just open 1 Set every year, your chances of getting laid will be pretty low, nonetheless.

And remember, the thing is also, that you are just not lucky on a special day. A certain piece of luck is always involved in finding the right woman to talk to. (There are enough women, no one can get, no matter how good your game ist, for different reasons).

Take small steps, and approach as much as you can, hold conversations and remember: No matter how bad your game is, you will improve, and even if you never gonna be a master pua, there are enough women you can get even with a bad game

Actually,

I disagree very much with people saying its a "numbers game." This is not a NUMBERS game, but the reality is you can't be in control of the person you're flirting with. Simple as that really. That's why it's "numbers" to SOME level. Things are OUTSIDE of our control.

Timing

Comfort

Their MOOD (biggest one)

Their Social Aptitude (just because a girl is hot, does not mean she is socially adept).

P.S. The whole "if you go up 100 times you will get laid at least once" is not true. I've known some guys that did that and they didn't. And it's a common PUA myth. Now if you are blindly approaching HB2+s, then yea...fairly high you'll get laid. I personally remember I was extremely selective

@CaptainJackHarkness:

Don't get me wrong. I don't say its a numbers game. What I am saying is, increasing the number of women you approach, increases your chances.

But nevertheless, having a good game increases your chances much further.

It is not a numbers game, it has a lot to do with the right skill. But you still need the right number of approaches.

If you are good, you might only need a few approaches, but if you are bad, you need more approaches (even if just to learn more).

So skill and numbers go hand in hand. (As i said, even if you have the perfect game, if you approach just 1 girl every year, you are not getting much out of it).

But in the end, its all about how to increase your chances with girls. Having a good game is the most important stuff. But other stuff can also increase your chances, like good looks, money, good social status and least but not last more approaches.

I think you agree with me on that

thanks for the support and clearing some stuff for me, i just get too pessimistic , The real problem is because i have come so far, losing weight, becoming more social and extroverted, yet im still not seeing the results i expect so I feel more hopeless about the whole thing. However, i still need to practice numbers and get out even more. Also, inner game is still an issue that i need to turn up. Ill never give up i just need more practice.

@applesauce22: That is the right attitude. Its completely normal, that it can take a few months or more. But don't give up, you will get results sooner or later.

(And even if it will take another few months, when the results are there, you will give a shit about all those months and just enjoy the moment ).

my first impression is your inner game sucks and you are still focusing on outter game (ie. technics).

Work on your inner game and your frame, if your inner game is good and your heads on right, the outter game stuff will start working exponentially more effectively.

thanks detox, that definately is gonna be my focus. My issue isnt getting laid, i get sexy pretty consistently and have a fuck buddy right now. This problem is that i dont want it to be forced, i want it to feel natural. Inner game is definatley my focus now