Hey guys, I am kinda in a little situation here and I hope someone can give the right advice on it. There is this girl that I started to actually like and I work with her on our college campus. I invited her out one night for a few drinks with my friend and I walked her back to her place. She invited me in and one thing led to another, which led to her bedroom. I didn't take it far cuz I didn't want her to be that type of girl.

She was my date to semi-formal the next day (already asked her a few days before) and it was supposed to be a great night for us. But I fucked up by teasing her about the night before and she told I made her feel like a whore. I didn't mean for it to come out that way. I was just trying to make her laugh and wasn't thinking right. Still ended up dropping her off, but since then she hasn't responded to any of my texts. I knew what I did wrong and decided to drop off flowers & a card outside her door to let her know that I realized I messed up. This was two days ago.

I meet with her tomorrow morning for work and I want you guys to give me advice on how to get her back, the right things to say to her, whether I should apologize again or just say something else, and anything else that will help. I do like this girl but I am not about to be needy for her forgiveness. Looking forward to what you guys have to say. Thanks

This is an interesting statement considering that everything you've done so far has subcommunicated exactly what you say you're 'not about to be.'

Realistically, you should have slept with this girl when you had the opportunity rather than giving her a reason to believe you don't like her all that much and then backward rationalize that she doesn't like you, either. Just what kind of girl would she magically become as a result of having sex with you? Other than the sexually uninhibited kind who embrace their femininity and pursue that which they desire, of course.

In closing, welcome to the forum. I hope you find participating here helpful, because you owe it to yourself and this girl to work on your insecurities before attempting to seduce her again.

Your boy,
870

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What IF he handled it in the way of telling the girl that ''We aren't sleeping together tonight''? Would that be a fairy tale as well? Just curious.

It's not that I didn't think about it. She just wanted to make out and not go any further than that. Can you guys just let me know what I can do now...I know I had my chance but blew it. I'll appreciate it

Personally, I don't think there's a way to save this, and flowers aren't going to do you any good, they are AFC chump change and she'll see them as a weak and predictable attempt to buy her approval.

First, in her mind, you rejected her. She was ready for you and you turned her down, something that women take VERY personally. In effect, you told her she wasn't good enough - that's how she saw it anyway.

Then, when she's feeling low you do something akin to playing the whore card. So she goes from not being good enough to being a whore in less than 24 hours. I can guarantee you that not only did this unexpected twist be received by her as a slap in the face, but you can bet every cent you own that she has told all of her friends about it....either to try and figure out why you did what you did, or as emotional payback...she's going to sabotage your chances with any of her friends to get even or to stop you from hurting them like you did her.

Well, in the long run you got what you wanted. She's not going to sleep with you ("....I didn't take it far cuz I didn't want her to be that type of girl...").

Even though us guys tend to discount some aspects of a woman's emotions, you have got to understand that it's a powerful thing nonetheless. As long as you are simply running routines and trying to take advantage of female emotions for your own personal benefit, you run the risk of doing some harm. At least until you understand women better.

I don't think I was the one that turned anything down man. My hands were going down there but she stopped me and told me not to. I was cool with that. You honestly think there is no way I can still be friends with this girl, even though she was the one that didn't want to have sex that night?

Honestly she just couldn't take the joke. Don't beat yourself up over it. Not everyone can deal with humor at their expense. Give her some of her own medicine and ignore the fuck out of her. You can't give these girls more power than they already have over you.

Yea ur right man...I apologized to her and meant it but if she feels like I should be doing more than fuck that. I'm in college and I should just have fun with my time here.

instead of the flowers you should of just ignored her until she contacted you, i promise you that has a higher chance of working. i once left perfume on a girls door i was trying to get with, and how far do you think i ever got with her then

I understand where your coming from league but thing is man i obviously wasn't thinking at the time and when i realized what a dick i was that night, i just thought this was the way to go....sure it was over the top but i wasn't trying to win over her apology with the flowers. I will end up meeting her at work tomorrow morning and won't bring up anything about the flowers but I'll feel her out to see whats on her mind

Seems like you wanted to buy her out with flowers...kind of what someone said...the whore card.

Honestly regardless of what emotional intentions your flower-giving came with, the intent behind it is the same: I know I was a dick, I'm sorry, will you let me stick my dick inside of you anyways?

Flowers was a terrible idea. Terribly terrible.

I wish more AFCs realized why they do what they do. I never apologize for my sexuality to any girl. If she says ewww, I tell her to go fuck herself when I'm in a conversation where sex is brought up (high value indicator and im not apologizing for it).

^^^

Seems to me like she couldn't take the joke and you went all AFC with apologising and shit.
When you meet her tomorrow don't ignore her, don't apologise either, JUST ACT NORMAL, like nothing is wrong. You did nothing wrong (except apologising and sending flowers lol) it's not your fault she can't take a joke.

If you guys are interested, I did end up meeting up with her in the morning. She didn't really give a fuck when I said "Hi" and I expected that. We actually talked for a bit, but I could tell she was ignoring me or not interested in talking like before. It's all good. If she wants to talk, she knows where to find me. I'm guessing you guys expected this type of response from her?

Hey man, my two cents: teasing is cool before you make out with the chick, not afterwards, and she does seem like she's a bit lacking on the sense of humor side... second, you came close to an F-close, and should have plowed towards that... Now it may be too late... Last but not least... There is no failure, just an opportunity to learn, and I guess you learned a valuable lesson from this story... as did some other people who read your post... Keep it up