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Ok so this is long. Read last two paragraphs if you're lazy. Complicated situation I guess. Many of you will say to move on, but sorry, I'm not. Yet at least.
21 and in college to preface. Girl I'm going after is my best friend's girlfriend's best friend. I'm also really good friends with his girlfriend. (aka the two girls are best friends, my buddy's friend is the ones i'm good friends with). i'm sure i didn't lose you. so yeah i have a bit insider knowledge access being that i can get info from this girls best friend and she talks to my best friend as well. i've known her through my friend for probably almost 2 years but only occasionally have seen her when we pre-game on weekends. always friendly with her but now much as she's had a boyfriend for at least 2 years. girl is drop dead gorgeous, btw.
so here's where i come in. few weeks ago she breaks up with her boyfriend. she started messing around with another guy around the same time, so what. So last week I decide to ask her friend (again the girl i'm good friends with), if it would be out of line for me to text her ask her to hang out. she says i probably shouldn't as she's too confused about shit with her X. i somewhat take her advice.. some flirty texting but don't ask her to hang out or anything. friday night i find out through my friend she thinks i'm cute. of course she does. saturday night we had planned we were going to pre-game and go out together along with a bunch of others. things turn out a bit better than expected as we ended up spending the whole night at the bar/club dancing together. it was her that kept pulling me over to her.
no need to explain much more as i find out during that night that she's into me and stopped messing around with the other guy cuz she wants me. that night we went back to her place around 2 along with my best friend 'couple' (so the 4 of us). we watch a movie til like 3 something, my other two friends go to sleep, and me and the girl stay up talking til 5 something. i was told by both my friends ahead of time to not try anything as the other reason she stopped messing around with the first guy is he tried to take things too quick. obvious attraction though, i'm told she likes me, and we seemed to have a great connection that night. next day she says that night was the best time she's had in a while. might've been the best time i ever had.
shit this is getting lengthy. hang on, almost done! so i've been texting her a bit, playing games with her and stuff, but not much as i don't want it to seem like i'm crowding her or super interested or anything. i ask the other girl last night what info she's gotten from the girl i like: she says she doesn't want anything right now she needs to be on her own while she gets over her X (this is through her friend, obviously i didn't ask her this).
So, in total. Obvious signs of attraction, in my opinion on a deep, possibly relational level (that's my goal). But on the other hand she doesn't want anything now and I was also told she needs me to be her friend and not someone she feels like she needs to hook up with.
So obviously I wouldn't be writing this and caring this much if I didn't have strong feelings for her. For me its worth it to pursue.. she's amazing. So what the hell do I do in this situation? I'm not really sure how often to text her, how flirtatious I should be, etc. She always answers my texts, but at the same time I don't want to overwhelm her (or does she need someone to talk to all day)? I really think my best course of action is to hang out with her in person as much as possible, but not sure how to go about it without her thinking i'm trying to push things along too quickly.
You actually want to push things along quickly. As my man 60yoc escalation is one of the most attractive qualities a guy can have. I'm just going to cut and paste what 60 says as I'm too lazy to paraphrase it.
-There is absolutely nothing you can ever do or say that is more attractive than escalating quickly (this means holding seductive eye contact right from start, moving very close to her quickly, possibly giving her a compliment “you smell good” and holding/caressing her hands all in first minute)
-being able to escalate quickly is attractive quality as it shows confidence to the woman
-1st time you escalate assume failure. At first she may act shy or play hard to get. Women love to resist guys a little. This way you’ll never look sad if 1st escalation doesn’t work. Remember she is looking to see how you react to her resistance.
-2nd times a charm. I want to fail. Its actually better if your first try doesn’t work. You get the opportunity to display more attractive qualities. You have already shown her you can escalate (attractive), that her resistance doesn’t get you down (attractive), and that you are persistent (attractive). If after displaying all 3 of these attractive qualities she still doesn’t comply, then she is not interested.
The three main attractive escalation qualities are fast escalation, a calm reaction to
resistance, and persistence. You can only to do these things when you are operating from horniness. In fact, you won’t even notice or remember any of her resistance.
The sooner you have sex with her, the closer she will feel with you and the sooner you'll get that female affection you desire more than anything else. NEVER ever drop your sexual frame otherwise you'll simply come across as needy.
I strongly recommend you download 60yearsofchallenge online, its probably the only useful PUA literature out there which tells it like it is. The rest of the stuff you read such as Mystery Method, The Game, etc is just a bunch of marketing BS that makes it even harder to seduce women.