I think this may be a little extreme, as well. If you don't care about what they think of you, you cannot get a feedback and therefore adjust your actions. My opinion is, you should be aware of their perception of you, and if it's negative, try to figure out what made them think bad of you. Otherwise you may risk being too centered on what YOU think is good for them, and overlook their actual necessities.

Then again, as long as it's just one or two people who don't like your attitude, it may be no big deal. Human mind is complicated.

Here is from my favorite book how to win friends and influence people:

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:

Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Let the other person save face.
Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

_________________
Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel:
http://www.dancefloorseduction.com

Dancefloor/Club game youtube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/dancefloorseduction

This is a PU forum. This title of the thread is "I am this. I am that." - just a reminder.

"Likability"

A few of you seem disappointed that I dislike a particular member. While this is true, my personal dislike for a specific member is not the point. The point is that this is a pick up forum. Our "main thing" is to share ideas for attraction and positive social interactions. Unfortunately, the character in question splits his time TELLING us how great he is, then DEFENDING himself when ridiculed, often times, all in one post. This is inherently a repulsive habit. The importance of avoiding this toxic habit is the point of this thread.

Go ahead and read the post that Skills pasted in this thread and tell me if you'd like to listen to that while having a beer. The point is that women (remember, this is a pu forum) feel the same way. He suggests that his unfavorable experience (being disliked, disrespected, ridiculed) only exists in this forum; this notion is utterly absurd.

As he suggests, we could take his most recent manifesto, switch out the subject topics, and paste them to business forums, sailing forums, political forums, sports forums . . . and every member would laugh their asses off. In fact, this forum is probably the most forgiving of online forums as most members here are aware that some people have psychological issues.

In his study, Pennebaker notes that people with similar pronoun usage habits tend to gravitate to one another. Here's the takeaway: If you think "I am like this and I am like that" is not a big deal, read the addict's manifesto one more time. The female version of THAT is what you'll attract while anybody remotely sane will in fact dislike and disrespect you. This is exactly what's going on in this forum. This is exactly what happens in any other forum. This is exactly what happens in the real World.

There is no point to trying to understand why someone didn't like you. It is completely counter-productive and will always create insecurity. Those who don't like you will separate themselves from you, and that is fine.

BUT you do make the valuable point that in order to improve one's social skill (and I assume that is our goal) you must be able to get feedback, to know if you're moving forward or backward in your attempt.

This is where I use body language. If people are giving me positive body language, I know I'm doing something right. If people are giving me negative body language, I know I'm doing something wrong. Whether the people themselves like me is something else entirely (even your closest friends or lovers will give you negative body language when you're being annoying).

You have taken the interpretation of Pennebraker's study too far. His studies on writing require a period of time and analysis of several writings; not just one post or one manifesto. Again, it's what a man regularly does that determines the man.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

This post is absurd, continue to bash me all you like. But stop assuming, you claim to be an intelligent man yet you base most of your comments on assumption. You know Kasabi there is a thin line between like and hate, I have never had a complete stranger ( someone so meaningless to me), show such passion for me whether it be hate or like. The fact of the matter is, you basically talk about me in every one of your posts. It is borderline cyber stalking. If I was such a fool and so full of shit as you say, why even bother discussing me? Why make such an effort to dis-credit me? When I read your posts I laugh. Unlike you, I write what I feel, I don't sit here and worry about how my words will come out, or how someone like you will perceive it. I don't really care what you think.

You are a grown man in your 40's yet you continue to show an incredible amount of immaturity by continuously bashing me. Not so indicative of a man with a superior intellect. The thing is, you may convince some to be bias against me, but you will not convince all. YOU SEE! People on this forum as not as dumb as you think they are, you think you are mountains above everyone but you really are not. People on this forum are smart and able to make their own interpretations. You are not just showing disrespect to me but to the forum as a whole. You are assuming nobody is wise enough to draw their own conclusions. A true form of arrogance.

This will be the last time I ever reply or engage you in this forum. I tried to give you many chances, but you are just blinded by your meaningless hate and negativity. You may appear to have a strong intellect, but your social intelligence is lacking. I honestly feel sorry for you. You seem like a very lonely man. I can envision you as you get into your 50-60's as a bitter old man assuming everyone else is beneath you. I hope this doesn't ring true, everyone deserves to be loved.

I wish you the best in life Kasabi.

_________________
Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.

Its a cliche but "the self is always coming through". Hobbit's right.

Its good to pay attention to what you say though as noticing recurring words you say and being self aware of them can help you notice things about yourself.

I used to use the word "just" a lot, which when you think about it is bad "I just do this", "Oh its just that".

So personally, its good to notice what you say to understand yourself better.

Am I the only person who became self conscious of using the word "I" whilst writing their post?

Hobbit, that video was fantastic. One of the best I've seen in months.

When he gave his TiVo example, the marketing plan he presented that followed his model was phrased as "If you are a [positive], [positive], [positive] person, you will like what I have to offer."

I plan to take that concept into my life. It says "Here are values that I think you have" and the person is inclined to agree, and then it says, "now let me help you be the person with those values."

That piece took me back to the start of this thread. Rather than say "I have this thing that you will like" you say "You are this sort of person, so you will like this thing I have." The emphasis is on the "you" instead of the "I."

Again, great video.

i-am-38yrs-old-and-have-had-sex-with-ap ... highlight=

Not really sure how to reply . . . "I'm sorry that you're a retard?"

Brilliant video. I've spent most of my life working and living with people who just couldn't understand my insatiable need to know the reasons and rationales behind everything, nor my tendency to look for a 'cause' or 'crusade' with which to underpin my pursuits.

At least now I can make an attempt at explaining why I think that way.

Your boy,
870

_________________
"Do not blame, call out, alpha male, superman, or water sprinkle any hoes. And what will be, will be." -Hobbit

http://tinyurl.com/c6lbje<-Member Journal (PMZ Only)

Back to the discussion topic:

When hiring software developers, all we really needed were ultra smart people who understood and wrote clean code. . . but we didn't test skill sets first. A candidate would first do an informal interview 'meet and greet' style. The was a "Can he/she get along here?"

Here's the interesting thing. While I could never predict whether a candidate would score well on the whiteboard, I could ALWAYS predict if he/she would utterly fail. How? It was the "I am this. I am that" guy. . . EVERY TIME. "My coding style is this and that because I am this and that and when I bring a scrum together, I like to do a modified agile because my experience with my team in my project in my year of 1723 was blah, me, blah . . ." - Here's the kicker. Even if a candidate were to fail the white board test, there might have been some alternative placement IF he/she could just get along . . . unfortunately, these types were always 0 for 2. ZERO for 'get along' and ZERO for 'ability'.

Now that you've placed a link on that thread, I'm forced to read some of SA911's post. LOL.

I would say he's fairly consistent at being polite and helpful. His advices are not bad either. Here are some of SA911's posts.
The guy has been consistently helpful, supportive, polite and insightful. So why are you so mad about his 800 laid claim? It's just a claim and we have no way of verifying that as well as verifying your claims here likewise. We would just have to rely on our judgement and on field testing to say say for sure if the guy's advices are bullshit or not.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

I agree with you hellbound. This shit is ridiculous and childish at this point. I have only seen sexaddict be the bigger man in each argument. Doesn't let his emotions control him and he's hardly ever arrogant.

I can relate to him in a sense because I have gotten in an argument with someone I know from telling him he can go after beautiful women, etc. and that you don't need a lot of money to do so. I was trying to be a good friend, change his limiting beliefs and encourage him to do better. Do you know what happened? He misinterpreted what I said (somehow) in a negative way, called me cocky and threw a tantrum. I was shocked, but thinking back I completely understand. The reason he thought that way was cause he's an insecure beta. He didn't believe in himself as much as I believed in him so he couldn't accept my reality. He let his childish insecurities get the better of him and reason. He also has a high IQ which I bet Kasabi does as well, but I have learned for a fact that you can still be smart and educated while also being an emotional beta that can't grasp real social dynamics.

Lot's of people doubted sexaddict's accomplishments, usually because they can't accept his successful reality and thus doubt their own self in ever doing the same. Famous creators and scientists got ridiculed a lot through out time for having big dreams and an open mind. Those pathetic beta monkeys laughed when it was said the world is round. They laughed when the brothers claimed they can build a machine to fly humans in the sky. Humans have had so many limiting beliefs because they don't believe in themselves to achieve those things, so to them, no one else can either.

I will say this about sexaddict, despite his claims, he has offered plenty of times to see him in action or compete with him in pick up. Now you tell me what the fuck more can he do then that? cause I would genuinely like to know.

Just a reminder,

The title of this thread is "I am this. I am that." - the inference, based on the attached article, is that those who have a habit for this have less power & less status. Based on our discussions here and from other threads, we have come to a conclusion that those with these habits suffer from a wide gap between high self esteem and low abilities.

I have explained to you why I think that ^these habits are repulsive. Others have shown in other threads that these tendencies 'piss them off'. These people are outcast from work groups, social groups, and even family groups.

To those who are eager to copy/paste from other threads, please give a thought to "WHY" you are copy/pasting. Simply copy/pasting more "I am this. I am that" posts only fortifies the existing arguments of this thread. If you are arguing that "I am this and I am that" can be a positive influence, please offer your thoughts as to why or at the very least GOOGLE up some research material to show how blabbering about yourself can be beneficial. Being a polite social outcast is still after all, an 'out cast'.