San Antonio, Texas

24 college student

A friend of mine would often talk about this and I decided to check it out for myself. I've been visiting the forum on and off for about a month

I'm fairly new to it all, but I enjoy The Natural game.

My hobbies are watching Spurs Bball, when I'm not doing that I'm in the studio. Architecture is my life.

One day I aspire to be one of the best Architectural Engineers ever!

I guess, moving to a new town it was hard moving by myself. I was never really a shy guy due the fact I was a jock and everyone knew me. I didn't really have to put myself out there. Funny how things change! I met this girl a few years back online turned out we ended up going to the same school. We hung out quite a bit but nothing ever really came of it. Fast forward 4yrs later, she messages me on facebook and we've hung out a couple times. But, things seems to be going the same direction they did before. For some reason that tends to happen with every attractive girl I meet. I can't seem to pull the trigger...
I guess that's why I'm here.

Hey Texasarch1,

I know just what you mean about not being able to pull the trigger. Even when I have managed to get in those situations with women I find attractive it has always been like there is a mental block. With girls I'm not really into it is so much easier but sometimes even then the block is there.

For now I definitely recommend learning a couple of routines to practice with until you become comfortable escalating. David DeAngelo's two steps forward one step back is great when coupled with stuff like Neil Strauss' evolution kiss close. One of my favorites was to take the girls hand for a second and then push it away saying "Wait, what are you doing? I thought we were just going to be friends." I forget who's technique that was originally but it has worked well for me and can lead to some fun conversations later.

It's important that you don't do anything exactly like they do it or you will get burned. Take it and make it your own. Tweak it until you find something that works. In my experience, by the time I had the routine thoroughly worked out I didn't really need it anymore and could get by with a more "natural game". Welcome to the community.

_________________
MiikusMaximus
-
You will be far more likely to regret what you haven't done than what you have.
-
Be the man you want to be while living the life you want to live.
-
I only have three rules
1. Make It Fun
2. Show Don't Tell
3. Be Genuine

I really appreciate the response bro! I'm working on it slowly but surely. I'm kinda waiting until the summer so I can actually unplug from this computer and go out into the field to play. Idk, but when I'm on campus I'm not the most approachable guy. For some reason all business when I'm there. I mean, I smile and all that jazz. I just usually keep my interactions to minimum. My classes are hella spread out on campus, so usually I'm busting my hump to get to the next one. I catch girls smiling and trying to gain eye contact with me...
I smile back and usually throw a wink their way... I just never stop to converse...sounds rude I know. I just have my focus in one place when I'm there and girls aren't it. Even though there is a vending machine of assortments running around in nothing in the hot Texas sun! Wtf is my problem?

OK. I am going to do you a huge favor here. Seriously, you will thank me for this later. Are you paying attention? Good, raise your right hand, hold it level with your ear, got it so far? Great! Now slap your face as hard as you can!!! Done? Fantastic. Now forgive yourself for being a normal human being and promise to do better. Here's how you will keep that promise.

First, realize that you have a form of approach anxiety and that doing nothing will make it worse, but doing something will make it better. I promise.

Second, tomorrow when you're running around school, instead of avoiding eye contact at the very least make eye contact and smile, nod, wave and/or say hello. Say what up to everyone, male and female. Don't feel like you have to do more, just try to make your day and theirs a little brighter by sharing that tiny connection.

Third, reframe how you think about class and school, most of those girls are there looking for boyfriends/future husbands who will be successful one day. If you are a minute late to class and walk in with the visibly powerful self esteem that a brief pleasant interaction with a beautiful woman who wants you to call her and take her out gives you, every girl in that class is going to notice you and consider you as a potential mate, and every guy is going to respect you for it (probably even the teacher). Plus you will have a built in opener with every person in that class. Don't make being late a habit but done correctly this can be a huge social boost.

Ultimately we humans need to have balance in our lives in order to remain physically and psychologically healthy. Right now your social life and academic life are out of balance. I am giving you permission to correct that balance and strongly recommend that you do as it will become a habit.

I started my journey at the end of my college experience and have to say that it made my last semester by far the most enjoyable and memorable. This exact technique helped me in every respect. Once I was walking around with a classmate I needed a ride from and so many people were saying hello and stopping me to talk that he burst out in respectful awe "Man, you know everybody!"
Another time I was talking with a girl when another, hotter, girl I was acquainted with came up and started flirting with me. The first girl left and a third even hotter girl came up and inserted herself into the conversation. This was before I really knew what I was doing other than just saying hello and teasing a little. If I had had the skills then I did later this story would be way more awesome.

So get out there, start saying hello and let us know how it goes!

_________________
MiikusMaximus
-
You will be far more likely to regret what you haven't done than what you have.
-
Be the man you want to be while living the life you want to live.
-
I only have three rules
1. Make It Fun
2. Show Don't Tell
3. Be Genuine

That slap was definitely a rude awakening, but I thank you for it. You make it all seem so easy. And it seems easy until I think about it! "Lifes about leaving your comfort zone", my dad would always tell me. " It'll help you grow son!" I think maybe I will begin to keep a journal, sometimes I feel that my inner self talk stops me from doing things I know I can do!
You said I need more balance, here goes nothing! I'll tune you all in later. And thank-you very much!

Oh...one last question, there is this girl in my class. I catch her looking over at me all the time in class. So I make silly faces at her and she chuckles, but our interactions never go anywhere past that. I even notice her slowly leaving class and sort of waiting. I take medication...Vyvanse for my ADHD. I've gotten this a lot from my friends that I've changed. My ex used to call me Mr Serious when I'm on it, even one of my professors made a joke to the class saying omg...I made Collier smile! Watchout the sky my fall...ha...not funny. I'm am a much better student bc of the stuff. But it seems to have had a negative effect on my personality. Haha...I haven't taken it yet can you tell?! Anyways, back to the Hb7. The semester's almost over, and I feel I've blown another one. Should I approach her tmrw? Only idk what I'd say to her...

This isn't easy. It's simple, but takes a lot of courage, strength and determination.
Journals are great. You can even keep one right here on the forum like some of the guys have. Your Dad seems like a wise man as his advice is spot on.

Ok, about this girl in your class. There are several ways to approach her. No matter what, first start with what we talked about earlier, being social and saying hi to all the people you're passing and definitely start up a conversation with a couple of girls in the hall. Make it light and fun, tease them about something for a second and say "Hey, I have to run to class. . .You seem like you might be cool, go ahead and write down your number and we can chat sometime." This is the time to walk in a minute late.
Make eye contact with some other women in the class and smile/nod maybe even wink at one of them. But not the girl you're interested in, don't look at her at all. This will get her thinking stuff like why isn't he looking at me, he must not even like me and plunge her emotional roller coaster down.

After you sit down, pull out your stuff, and get situated. Then look at this girl you're interested in. Chances are good that she will have been watching you this whole time. If she makes eye contact, hold it and SLOWLY let a big smirk spread over your face. She should smile even bigger. Wink at her and nod, maybe mouth/sub-vocalize "Hi". Whatever her response, just chuckle, shake your head and maybe roll your eyes, then turn back to what you're doing. Don't look back.
If she turns away or isn't looking at you, stare at her until she does make eye contact and do the above steps. It is extremely important to keep that eye contact when she looks at you. If you look away when she looks at you, you demonstrate lower value and she will lose some interest but if you meet her gaze you demonstrate higher value and she will gain some interest. This process will send her emotional roller coaster soaring then bring it down just a little. You're sending mixed messages so she isn't entirely sure where she stands with you and you're turning up the tension. Don't look back the entire class. Let her roller coaster coast down coast down slowly.

Do the above no matter how you decide to approach later.

After class is the time for the approach. I will go over three different ideas starting with what I think would work best. Chances are good that this girl has a crush on you and has created some ideas of what kind of guy you are in her imagination. The less you say, the more likely she will be to imagine you as the guy of her dreams. Right now you have a lot of tension assuming you've done the above. Therefore the most powerful thing you can do is dial up the tension and mystery she feels towards you. Depending on your confidence and the vibe between you there are two powerful ways to do this. Try to approach her in the class room so you're not walking and talking but don't run after her with these first two approaches.

1. The non-verbal sexual approach (stolen and adapted from Richard La Ruina's aka Gambler's Stealth Attraction which I highly recommend you get today as it is available for only $5.00 right now). Slowly walk over to her, always drawing your focus and intensity back into you and on your intention, not on her, not on the result. While you're slowly walking/loosely strutting over to her you're looking at her like you want her, like you want to kiss her - one eye, lips/mouth, other eye, eye contact, hold eye contact, mouth, eye contact.
Walk over, as you get closer mover ever more slowly and smoothly (if she's looking at you it's on, if she's looking at you like she wants it it's definitely on, but if she turns away it's off) and slowly-gently take her hand while introducing yourself in a slow throaty/deep voice "Hey, I'm TexasArch1." Brush your other hand over her hair and kiss her on the cheek, and maybe the other cheek, then very slowly move to the front, forehead to forehead. If she tilts her mouth up, kiss her once very slowly on the mouth, slowly pull back letting your hand brush from her hair down her shoulder and arm and slide it into her other hand. If she makes eye contact or looks down, don't kiss her on the mouth. But still let your hand that is on her hair brush down her arm and take her other hand. Eye contact, she might kiss you again or she might look down and blush, either way is great, she might say something simple like "hi". Whatever, go with it. Ideally you would instant date her - something like "I usually grab a cup of coffee right now would you like to join me?" but if she can't say "I understand. Go ahead and write down your number . . . we'll talk later." or you can just say "Wow . . . I have to run to my next class but I just had to come say hello. Write down your number and we'll talk later."
The key to this whole thing is being slow, smooth and responding to feedback escalation. Start walking over there and if she reciprocates the vibe, holding eye contact maybe looking at your lips, pushing her chest out, or brushing her hair, then escalate and keep slowing the pace down as you get closer walk more slowly, as you take her hand move even more slowly still, as you brush her hair with the back of your hand and lean in and to the side to kiss her cheek do it incredibly slowly. Being slow and deliberate is incredibly powerful, gives her time to feel these intense emotions, she is more likely to go along with it and most importantly she can stop you at any time if it's too much. If she looks uncomfortable in any way - turns her head or body away, shakes her head no, crosses her arms or hunches over, stop the non-verbal sexual approach move into the movie moment.


2. The Movie Moment (stolen and adapted from Lance Mason). What you want to do is focus your intensity on yourself, calm your mind and restrain your emotions. You want to be intensely emotionally strong here, vulnerable but powerful. Slowly walk over to her, always drawing your focus and intensity back into you on your intention, not on her, not on the result. Walk over completely relaxed and say something like "Hi, I was sitting over there trying to study and I couldn't help but notice you. I just had to come talk to you. Can I walk with you/sit down/get a coffee with you?" At his point you have to be silent and let her imagination work. Don't say anything until she answers and don't flinch. In your situation, the less you say the better.

3. The interpretable cocky/funny line. I highly recommend you do one or the other of the above but in case it doesn't work out because the situation isn't right or she doesn't vibe on the intensity here is a back up. Walk over to her in a somewhat neutral fashion and say "Hey. I couldn't help noticing you...noticing me." Pause here to gauge her reaction. If she giggles or looks away say something like "I just wanted to come over and make sure you're not like a stalker or something...'cause, I just couldn't go through that again!" If she just smiles and/or makes eye contact you can say something like "I usually grab a cup of coffee right now would you like to join me so we can see if we can be friends?"

That's it. Simple but difficult. No matter what, after you part company again, go talk to a bunch of girls. That is the best time to meet women, right after you succeed. Don't fall in love or get one-itis. Do well and good luck.

P.S. I am not a doctor but if I were in your shoes I would lay off the meds. Talk to your doctor about taking a medication hiatus this summer while school is out to see how you do. During the summer spend 30-60 minutes a day meditating and find a yoga studio you like - preferably one with a ton of hot chicks! Read some books that you find fascinating like The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida and game materials. Watch some great movies. Avoid TV with commercials, video games, sugars, sodas, and most or all refined and fast foods. Learn how to cook. Have fun hanging with all the new women you are going to be meeting at yoga and cooking class.

_________________
MiikusMaximus
-
You will be far more likely to regret what you haven't done than what you have.
-
Be the man you want to be while living the life you want to live.
-
I only have three rules
1. Make It Fun
2. Show Don't Tell
3. Be Genuine

hey. i didnt bother to read any of the above posts because of length and im just too lazy to, but i read your first one. i just wanna start off by saying that I personally am in my first year of college too, and I NEVER had ANY interactions with any chicks in high school. so i guess you could say i started from ground zero. (I never made out, kissed, held hands with a girl before college)

First off you are in college. Take in mind this viewpoint: So many people who come to college are new to college, its an enviroment where no one knows each other at the beginning, its a new place, and everybody is excited about the whole college experience, etc. College is susposed to be a new start, a place whereyou meet new people, new friends, new romantic interests.

Because of this, people are just like you. Everybody doesnt know everybody at the beginning of college, they all just started at some point. Whether they were approached, or it was because you made a new friend as a roommate, through a friend, or even if you just happen to run into each other all the time. YOU CANT DO THIS IF YOU ARE ANTISOCIAL THOUGH. how do you expect to be able to talk to women well, make out with chicks, and even have sex with and then maybe have a relationship with women if you dont ever even talk to any...

START OFF BY JUST BEING A FRIENDLY AND SOCIAL GUY! TALK TO EVERYONE! guys and girls included. if you notice someone lonely talk to em. if you notice someone eating by themselves sit next to them and be friendly. you'll notice this especially at the beiginning of the year in classrooms, and everywhere around campus. there are so many people who are by themselves lonely, wanting to talk to people. you will feel good doing this and this will build your self confidence.

next, try and improve yourself in every aspect. research pickup stuff. check out youtube videos that are free, watch simplepickup for motivation, etc. but realize that you can only sit in the birds nest for so long. at some point after youve read all this info, etc you have to fly. just jump out in the real world and practice. and keep in mind that you DO NOT have to take women on dates. You do NOT have to buy them stuff and pamper them. This actually turns women off. Women want a man. A REAL MAN. someone who is self confident in himself, doesnt take shit from anyone else, makes decisions. Think about all of the men who are succesful with women. Do they seem like a REAL MAN to you? also keep in mind that attraction is not something you can convince a woman of. Either she sees you and she is interested in you sexaully, or she sees you as a friend which means no realationship, no sex. think where you are.

check my other posts to see more about this but good luck and dont give up my man

_________________
"experience is what you get when you didnt get what you wanted"

oh and by the way im in engineering, so dont give me any excuses. i have had it way worse off than you. you can do it

_________________
"experience is what you get when you didnt get what you wanted"

Yo what's good TexasArch I just recently moved down here to San Antonio just like you. And I don't know anybody at all. And I need a wingman. I'll be 19 in 3 months. So I just thought I'd get on here and try to find some chill people to kick it with. So just hit me up.
Peace.

Ok... So I took all the advice that was offered to me by you gentlemen and I went for it. She turned out to be a pretty fun chick and she genuinely likes basketball. So we would hangout at this local outdoor spot and watch hoops. I haven't talked to her in a while now, I couldn't read her at all. I mean, she would drive down to see me from her place which is about 20 minutes away from my house. She wouldn't dress up perse' but she would look nice. She's done this on several occasions...but then the game ends and she goes home. I remembered that she liked hookah so we went and smoked one night until around 4am... I told her she didn't have to drive home but she insisted that it was ok, so I didn't push it. I kino her like crazy but she doesn't push me away or respond to it. We talk about sex...which is usually about me sex life and never hers...She's a trustfund girl so she insists on paying for everything. When we get to talking about personal stuff she only likes to listen she never talks about herself...i try to bait her to talk about herself but it usually leads to the guy she recently dated and how he's so much older than her and he said she had some growing up to do relationship wise... I am I looking for a relationship as I have told her. And that I don't hold sex up so high that I need to be in a relationship to have it. She claims that she does..when we talk her eyes say yes...the twirling of her hair says yes...but her body and her mouth says nothing... I really don't know how to read this girl so I just waslked away. And the last time that we did hangout, I picked up the waitress.

Good for you. Get rid of that oneitis and start playing the field to find what you are actually attracted to. If you must have relationships go for the multiple long term relationship situation. Don't get locked into one girl and be careful. HAVE FUN Player.

_________________
MiikusMaximus
-
You will be far more likely to regret what you haven't done than what you have.
-
Be the man you want to be while living the life you want to live.
-
I only have three rules
1. Make It Fun
2. Show Don't Tell
3. Be Genuine

I've always been told that the only stupid question is the one that's not asked... So with that being said I don't feel so AFC, my question is... what method should I use to begin this journey?

I began by reading the game which then led me to pick up the mystery method.

Since then I have begun to read titles like natural game, the seduction method, and magic bullets. There is so much information one does not know where to turn. Any suggestions?

You have to choose what's right for you. Magic bullets / mystery method is like level one stuff. It works by piling on a bunch of new techniques.
I like natural game better as it works to develop your personality and has more normal techniques so that you can be you and not Mystery. Gambler is a good example of natural game. I have been doing their master pickup university and think it's some of the best material I've seen even though their presentation of the material is disjointed scattered and confusing. Still I haven't seen other techniques that are as good as these guys.
Also check out Mark Manson. He is part of the post pickup community and resonates on being your best and becoming a healthy man.
The most important thing is to find/build a mastermind group of other guys/wings looking to improve their skills as well. This way you can help each other reach your goals and you'll have wings to go out with.

_________________
MiikusMaximus
-
You will be far more likely to regret what you haven't done than what you have.
-
Be the man you want to be while living the life you want to live.
-
I only have three rules
1. Make It Fun
2. Show Don't Tell
3. Be Genuine

Aye bro Maximilus or w.e. what you said rlly has helped me look at this whole PUA thing differently. In a good way though, inspiring words.