So I've been doing some reflecting, and I noticed that with almost all girls so far the status has switched at some point during the short hookups. I have really good frame control at the beginning, am not needy, make her earn the stuff, am forward without apologizing, etc.

But if there is a potential for, you know, getting to know her deeper, more than just kissing or sex, actually a relationship, or just progressing further, my status changes. I become needy, she becomes the dominant one who doesn't have time for me, she slowly becomes the one who decides when to meet, etc.

I try to play it off like I am still the dominant one, for example if she says lets meet tomorrow, before I say yes I say something like "I'm warning you, it'll be a dollar for every minute you spend with me..." or something like that...but always end up saying yes. I think I am extremely afraid of loss. And I know you have to be willing to lose the girl to get her, but I find that so difficult.

When I ask her to meet up, she may say no, but it's not like that the other way around, and over time it shows. It becomes clear to her I'm guessing, albeit subconsciously, that she is slowly getting the power.

Is it really just me having to take the god damn risk of saying fuck you I don't need you? Because, well, the truth is I do want her! And losing the girl is always a big loss for me.

Women are great. Sex is great. Love is great. We all know this and get it. But guess what? Some people are single and loving it. Try to keep that same mentality. What parts of your life are just about you that make you happy and feel like yourself? What is your identity? I think it'd be beneficial for you to cruise the "inner game" section on the forum.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I feel like you're treating pick-up like a game and forgetting it's supposed to be a lifestyle. Yes, it's called "the game" and blah blah blah, but the attitudes and "alpha" qualities should carry into your normal everyday life as well. You'll notice you can only keep up a front for so long before your true self shines through, and if that self is a shy, submissive, beta male, then that's fine, as long as you're okay with it. If you're not, then change something. Sorry if that was kind of harsh, I'm just trying to make helpful points here.

Peace.

Hey thanks for the response. Maybe I should have been clearer.

I don't think of talking to girls as pickup anymore. I don't do the "game". I just find this mentality or this way of going about the love section of my life is extremely helpful. I've been doing a lot of inner stuff, accepting myself, etc.

I agree with you completely, it should be the "me" things that make me complete, not some girl. But it's been with me throughout my whole life, never got a girl in my teenage years, therefore I grew very desperate. This forum and these methods have helped a lot. But it's not the technique or method I care about anymore like in the beginning. I just care about being a fun guy, being me wholly. And yes, I agree I should be able to make myself happy.

But every time a girl comes around I am good in the beginning, but then get back to the needy me that developed in my teenage years, the one that didn't get anything.

I think I just need to become more of a risk taker now. Risk losing the girl - because my neediness as I progress fucks up everything.

Thanks for your reply.

Alright, so let me explain something. To me, "the game" isn't about women or sex or any of that. It's about yourself. When we use the term "inner game" we don't mean "change yourself to be desirable to women" we mean "change yourself into what you want to be." Being "in the game" is for you and you alone. If you believe otherwise, you're using it wrong. Just trying to keep it real. I think this is a case of us using a different name for the same thing, hence why there is terminology that is universally used when talking about "the game." But you've got it, man. Just do you!