| well i never get laid and dont have any friends, but i have learned to make small talk and get conversations with women in coffee shops (not bars). you cannot force a woman to talk with you. also i find if i come up to a woman with a question, it confuses her because i am a stanger and 9/10 times she has no idea what i am talking about or why i am asking her. instead, what works better for me, is to imagine that i am going to let this set go for a few seconds and give up on approaching her. then wait a little, have patience, then when i happen to be nearby i look her in the eyes, plant my feet, and say "hi how are you?" and then just look at her and wait. if she does not reply, i let her go and don't pursue her any more. the key for me is to decide that if she does not talk back, i am going to keep my mouth shut and let her go away. don't push for a conversation. don't think of the right thing to say, but listen to your internal thinking process inside your head and if some thought or memory or feeling comes up while you are talking to her - say it. a natural, honest reaction is interesting. something you think people might like hearing, may not be. people can see what is going on in your head, like what you are thinking. i took an acting class, and they told us on stage not to think about how to act, but to just what the character is thinking and we will subconsciously act out the part. same thing with pick up. if you mentally decide you will plant your feet and keep quiet after you said hi and watch her reaction and not talk to her anymore if she does not reply to you or ask you anything back - it will show through your body language. people will tell. and it will put the women more at ease and make them more interested in you. also think of something you generally want to know about her. you can also share something about yourself that you actually want her to know. also i take dance classes and go social dancing, and i mention it to women when i meet them to dhv myself, grab their interest, and also give them a chance to say they would like to check out a dance as an excuse if they want a date with me. or i can invited them to a dance as an excuse for date. not that this gets me laid, but i have had many lengthy conversations with women in coffee shops just relying on the smile, say hi how are you, plant your feet, watch her reaction, listen to your internal dialogue for any natural reaction to watch she says, ask her something you are honestly curious about her, or tell her something you honestly want her to know about you. good luck.
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