Okay I'm a first year uni student with cerebral palsy. It's mild so I have stiffness in certain muscles (legs, left arm) which causes me to walk with a limp. Apart from that no other issues and when I'm standing or sitting down you can't tell I'm any different.

Anyway, I generally hate clubs because I don't drink and really can't dance. I have no idea what to do when I'm on the dance floor. I'm already nervous cos I'm completely sober, aware of everything and then it gets worse cos I'm stiffer than normal people and I'm always a little scared I'm gonna be knocked off balance. I did go to clubs pretty often in the first month of uni and then a couple of times after that but since around about November I haven't gone out once.

So yeah, I decided to go out tonight as it was my final day of lectures before exams. My SPAM is what you'd call a natural, has no problems picking up and is always trying to get me to come out with him so I thought I'd take him up on his offer tonight. Asked around my coursemates to see if anyone was going out and the only one who said they wanted to come was the girl I kinda like. She's gonna come round for pre-drinks and I'm gonna be the only person she knows. The only reason she wants to come is because I'm going out, since it's so rare and my coursemates have been trying to get me to come out for ages.

Anyway, I'm not interested in gaming her, she's got a boyfriend. I'm just looking for some tips on how to keep her occupied and make her feel comfortable in general throughout the whole night. I'm fine during the day at uni but when it comes to going out at night I get really awkward cos I'm the only sober, the way I walk and I end up getting pretty self-concious.

Also I'm just looking for general advice on how to have a good time without getting drunk. To be honest I've found it hard since coming to uni. I much prefer quiet nights in chilling with the SPAM.

Any help lads? Pre-drinks starts in a couple of hours.

Just be lively, fun, high energy without being hyper, make jokes, be the life and soul.

Main thing is to relax and smile. The rest will flow from there man.

I think the biggest thing is to touch people. Put your arm around people, male or female.

As you get better with this, you'll learn more about the body language of a set. People are actually constantly telegraphing whether they want you to touch them or approach them, how they feel about other people in the circle, and how they feel about you. It gets pretty involved, so don't worry about all that.

Just realize one rule that I've found: It's ALWAYS ok to touch neutral body language. If someone's body language is not actively negative to you, you can touch them! So if you're ever in your head, wondering if you can touch somebody, you probably can.

EDIT: And you're telling me you walk with a pimp lean all day every day?? Man that's cool as hell.

Definitely understand what you mean. I'm generally a more touchy feeling guy (to keep my balance ) and have noticed how it helps being more 'pally' with people.


Ahahah, I usually call it my crip walk but I'm liking pimp lean.

Anyway, last night was shit, didn't even make it out the flat. The girl couldn't make it (which I was genuinely pleased about cos I wasn't looking forward to being responsible for her the entire night. She wants me to come out with her next week though, not sure I'll take her up on her offer) and I just found it hard to get on with all my SPAM's coursemates. They're all business students so they basically all thought they were the shit, big time extroverts. I was fine when there was about 10 of us but when more and more people showed up and I failed to introduce myself immediately it was increasingly hard to butt into a group conversation. Eventually I just gave up and spent the night chilling with my other SPAM.

I really didn't have these problems back in school (when I was less self-concious about my disability and drank a little) but since I've become more aware and decided to stay sober, things haven't been great. Gonna really start working at it after my exams are done though.

I'm glad you noticed this mistake. It was a mistake, correct it next time.

I introduce myself immediately to EVERYONE. Moreover, if they seem like they're especially extroverted and can make waves, I toss in a quick DHV after the introduction. Like if they go to a school where I know people (I'm in high school) I tell them the high value people I know. After that quick DHV, I roll off so that I'm not qualifying myself to them.

It helps to have the respect of people you respect.

Good luck next time! Keep posting, PM me if you ever want to!

Cheers man, I definitely will.