Long story short, I committed the cardinal sin and went out with a coworker a few times. She knew I was into her, we spent a lot of time together at work, our last meet was at a nicer restaurant, had dinner and drinks. A few days later, a text convo degraded into her basically telling me that "right now" I was wasting my time. Fine, not a big deal... Did a total freeze out and went on to others...

Two weeks later, she had been vocal with a couple of co-workers about me not talking to her anymore, claiming that was 'mean.' We made arrangements to go out and talk about this, I ended up saying I didn't need to meet, just call - the point of the conversation is she alleges that she didn't know I wanted to be with her, and she wanted to keep talking etc... I obliged on the phone, but kept freezing her out. I actually didn't acknowledge her in the hall one day.

Froze her out for another three weeks, and several days ago she texted asking for her phone charger back. I told her I would look for it but that she probably lost it in the divorce. This turned into a few days of texting, her point being that I don't talk to her so she doesn't talk to me. My point being, she shouldn't have been such a bitch when the option was on the table.

I'm not focused on the girl, I'm focused on the situation and learning from it.

The question is, is there a way to DHV by getting together to 'talk' and using that time to escalate, be more direct, etc... or would asking for something like that be AFC?

Sounds nuts, run, don't walk the other way.

She tells you you're wasting your time with her, and then tell hers co-workers you're ignoring her? Possible Borderline personality. Incongruous people (saying one thing, yet doing another) will only lead you to Mindfucksville, population You.