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I wouldn't consider it an advanced question, but I am curious your perspective. One of my main sticking points is that I put too little effort into chasing the girl. This works fine when I see the girl often, but when I don't see the girl frequently it makes things take forever.
Here's an example interaction:
February: Sent HBFacebook a message. She kept popping up in my recommended friends, so I told her that she was attractive and that Facebook thinks we'd get along. She replied, we talked. I established commonalities and fairly deep rapport.
End of February I start dating someone else. Although its unexclusive, I stop talking to a few girls due to my above sticking point and the fact I was focused on work and my studies. HBFacebook periodically texts me in response to Facebook statuses I post. I respond, mostly role playing/bantering like I do with most attractive females, but nothing above and beyond normal. She texts me perhaps once a week.
End of April my relationship ends, but now I'm focused on my test coming in a month. I forget about HBFacebook. Then last week she sends me a text in response to a Facebook status about how I was in a hotel. She said "I know you travel for work, are you in X city?" I reply that I'm not. She says something along the lines of "I was thinking the other day, you're the only semi-stranger I look forward to talking to even if it is only text messaging." Can't remember what I replied and she says "Well you do it right. Most guys do it wrong, very wrong. They make me make sure my doors are locked. I just hate your schedule!" (I travel a lot for work, so meeting up can be hard).
Can't remember how I replied but I told her that I'll take her to dinner soon, she says she can't afford it. I told her I'll pay and accept an IOU for when she becomes a rich and famous author. She replies "I'd like that!"
A couple days later, we start discussing when we should meet up, but hadn't found a good time we both could do it -- I'm extremely busy until June and she travels around a lot, visiting friends due to the flexibility of her job. She stops replying to the texts and I go to sleep. I haven't spoken to her since. This was last Thursday or Friday.
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In this above situation, how often would you be contacting HBFacebook? The key is I have to be keeping the situation warm without devoting much time to it. After my certification test in 3 weeks, I can then devote more time. I'm curious how someone with a more aggressive approach would handle this.
Thanks for the advice
First off I have a couple of questions?
Is your contact solely through facebook?
What are your intentions with this girl? Do you wish to date her? Fling? sex?
From what I've read it would seem like she has a lot of interest in you. She also understands your dedication to your career and school. If your only contact is through facebook. I suggest you personalize it a little more, exchange phone numbers and make any further contact through your cell phone. This will give her a better sense of your interest in her. as well as personalizing your contact( in other words, a form of re-assurance, as we know all women are insecure) When you go onto facebook, it can be for a million reasons, if you are contacting her personal phone, it is for one reason and one reason alone.
If you already are in contact with her through your phone, I would suggest contact every few days or one deep conversation. You need to establish personal rapport. As of right now, you are still somewhat of a stranger, based on her words. If you get into her head and personalize your current standings and have a significant emotional impact on her, She will continue to initiate all other contact and all you will have to do is reply. As long as you keep replying even just a few minutes every time, her interest will remain.
Because of your busy schedule and hers, it will be tough to keep things warm. In my opinion, you need to create a strong connection, basically create a neuro-path in her mind that leads to you.
A perfect example of this is women that fall in love with prisoners, sure they may be a different set of people, but in the end they are all humans and have the same basic patterns. Yet these women will wait for years just to see their man, that they fell in love with through letters, and phone calls. ( limited contact)
What do all of these stories of prisoners in love have? An emotional connection created through words alone.
Most connections will transcend time, the deeper the connection, the less relevant time becomes.
Create the connection. This will light the fire, the fire will keep things warm.
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CHAT