Basically I want to keep getting better at game, so here's basically an overview of it. These are all my lines and everything I basically say: I just want some Helpful and friendly criticism from you guys, who are way more experienced.

Opener: Usually I go after girls that work at a store, so I basically ask about a product and make a joke. Or if I'm online, I'll make a comment about some girls tweet and take it from there. (A lot of this stuff I made up, feel free to use it)

After the small talk: btw where are your manners you haven't introduced yourself lol:
Her: I'm Blah, who are you?
Me: I'm your future husband! Haha
Her: lol! Wow, blah blah

Then usually this sorta is a compliance test, and it's funny:
Me: Did we just become best friends?
Her: Yes, totally! (Good sign) or Maybe/idk (still needs work)

So basically I open and build rapport (and I don't really have a good neg I usually just say what comes to mind, but if you have any suggestions LET ME KNOW)

Then maybe, break rapport: Me: I just noticed something about you.
Her: What?
Me: You seem to be intelligent, I can tell by the way you talk. That's surprising.
You know what's rare in people?
Her: What?
Me: A good personality, Engery and intelligence... You got 2 outta 3 not bad lol
Her: Haha! What am I missing?
Me: I'd say but I was told never to be rude to strangers lol.

Than maybe I'll use a Lock-in Prop and show her my bracelet and put it on her (What's a good line to get her to wear it, to do Kino?)

End
Or I'll do the 5 question Game, than reward her and say your fun or you seem nice we should hang out and say I'm gonna be at such and such a place, you seem harmless you should join me.
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I'll admit I used most of this online and not in real life, I've been working on overcoming AA and I have used some of this stuff in field I'm trying to be more outgoing and develop confidence.

So that's usually my Game, I've gotten good results on it and I'm still trying to shape it to make it even better. The first time I used it a girl actually gave me her number and she said she normally don't do it! Which I thought kinda made me feel unique but when I txted her I guess she said like, "No, that's not me, wrong number" ANYWAYS, PLEASE ADD SOME CRITICISM AND SHOW ME WHAT I COULD DO TO IMPROVE MY GAME. AND WHAT MY BASIC GOALS SHOULD BE. Example: Open - Attract - Rapport - Blah Blah. And how I should properly do it.

Thanks guys, looking forward to hearing from you all.

My opinion only, Don't take offence.

Future husband bit sounds cheesy and abit weird.
I liked this part, It sounds original
This sounds to me as it is too rehearsed and your following a in a linear fashion, Not letting the conversation flow.


5 questions Game is good and bracelet is good if it isn't just out of the blue.

Her: I work as a nurse
You: Hey, you like this bracelet, try it on.

Maneuver the conversation subtly to it, notice something on her clothing, necklace then tell her a story about your bracelet and go from there.

Well done For approaching though, your doing awesome.

Happy Gaming!

Thanks! Any other suggestions guys? I really need some opinions on this!