I think a huge problem that many of the members of this site face (and for that matter, AFCs in general) is that they have an identity crisis. I share this same problem.

The unfortunate and often disastrous thing about this is that it a phenomenon that still occurs at peak formative years (17ish to 25ish). The result of this is that elevating one's self to PUA proficiency (never mind mastery) becomes much more difficult. There's just not a solid foundation.

I often find that I ask myself a thousand and one questions about how I should handle situations with everything ranging from physical confrontation to how to talk with females. Why is this? Because for lack of a better phrase, I will use the cliche "I don't know myself". What I say and do is not done with conviction, and that is what leads me to this conclusion: It doesn't matter what your approach is, it just has to be done with COMPLETE CONVICTION AND CONGRUENCE. That being said, it is imperative that the PUA finds his own personal style that is congruent with his true self. If this is done, practicing your game and excelling to new unfathomable heights should come MUCH easier.

I've seen assholes, charmers, timid, cocky, "sweet", even "nice guy" dudes pull off loads of girls. And this observation combined with my insatiable attitude of questioning has led me to my ultimate realization: Before I do anything, I must decide WHO I AM.

When I take a step back and observe myself personally, I see that I am a very rationale, analytical person. I'm intelligent and have been told by many that I'm a "good kid". My features suggest more of a "cuteness" than "hotness" if you will, as I 've over heard this and been told this many a time (I also wear glasses, so there is a touch of nerd in there). However, I'm also physically tough and built, a combination of exercise and MMA. So my question is, why not rock this? Why not work on an identity that is congruent with my mental and physical attributes? The cute, charming, straight-forward yet tough nerd?

This might all sound ridiculous, but this is what I've ultimately come to after hours and hours of agonizing self questioning.

All of this being said, what do you guys think? Is it not a top priority to figure out your own being before starting to work on yourself? And if so, what kinds of books, exercises, techniques, etc. can help one establish their identity and know themselves.

BUMP

It's all about your own style. Natural game with your style is the way. Fuck canned lines and "you need to be this".

A top psychologist said you can only permanently change about 10% of who you actually are. So why try to be someone else when you can only become 10% of them when you could be 100% you.

Self improvement - yes, be someone else - no.