hello guys. i joined yesterday but i been listening to xumas, gamblers, and lyons stuff occasionally for the last 8-9 months. it really helped with my inner game. i am 22 years old, a virgin, have a job and i spend my time working, using computer at home, and drinking on Saturdays. one of my problems was/is pot. i was smoking whenever i got the chance. a few days ago it was my birthday and that day my stash run out. i stepped out of the haze for the first time after 2-3 months. it feels like a total reboot. but one interesting positive thing happened, i was practically always high for these last months and after the first month my social anxiety dissipated(along with any real motivation
), and i did things in social interactions which i would not do before because anxiety stopped me. it returned a few days ago, but it is different now. now i act in more situations, i would say that it expanded my social comfort bubble permanently. thought, it is a very bad way to do it(i would not recommend it to no one). my situation is uniquely screwy(aint everyone's),there is really HUGE amount of work in front of me if i am planning to be even remotely satisfied with my love life. i only dated one girl in my life for about half a year, it was a LDR with a 3 hour travel. i didnt escalate(and when i think about it today she was practically indirectly begging for it) so i didn't get more than occasional kiss or touch(i didnt even squeezed that butt properly, and it was a really great butt
). everything got kinda frustrating(obviously!) for both of us and it just abruptly, completely stopped. no contact whatsoever for 4 months. got SERIOUS oneitis, and i kinda managed to put it aside when i discovered the concept of GAME in xuma stuff. i went out one night with mine and her friends and she was there, absolutely no contact for most of the evening. i was feeling good and got some really obvious IOIs from some random girl and flirted a little(but no escalation,didnt see her again). we ended up in some half empty night club full of smoke and bad and loud music. it was 4-5 in the morning, all of us decently drunk, i wanted to isolate her, asked her to dance with me(btw, i cant dance for shit, and she know it), she declined and then i kissed her and made out, no contact afterwards that evening. we met a few days later, kinda cold, both of us. she was angry/hurt because i didnt contacted her until then. a few texts in the next week, then again no contact for next 3 months. then a similar night all over again, but this time she kissed me. asked her to meet up to talk day later. she declined. everything started to fall apart, walls of reality started to crash. only her on my mind,0-24, for the next 3 weeks. i send her an email describing EVERYTHING that i felt then and before that i didn't say. we meet in the first few days of 2012 and just talked. we talked on the phone every day for the next 2 weeks(we newer actually talked on the phone before that at all, just text and facebook). then i guess reality hit me, i didn't wanted this. we broke contact until a month ago when she asked me to go out with her one night, i was busy(and high). a shitload of unnecessary drama, basically. comments are appreciated.
CHAT