I sense strong LJBF vibes here....her asking you about the exam or talking about the boredom that is schoolwork/teachers etc seems to be a strong friend thing. I think your better chances are just being her friend...because at this point it seems very strongly you haven't shown the slightest sexual tension...no escalation...just a very friend-to-friend studying, consoling frustrated chump thing.

I can tell, however, you really like her and well...sad as it is to say..this may have blown your chances. It's not over until the fat lady sings though...the whole moments are gone, you need to meet her - do banter..connect with her in conversation..and also escalate.

Any ideas how I can go from friend situation to sexual situation? I met her 3 weeks ago, and don't see her often. So, what would you do in my situation? The reason she was talking about her work, exams, is because we had an exam today. We were studying together last night. I don't think a girl who has an exam in 24 hours will talk about ohter things besides the exam. Help me out like given me step by step instructions. I am meeting women and I need to practice these things. I really didnt know that I had to escalate kino.

Hi,

Yea I know what you mean. Sometimes what people don't discuss is the simple time-constraint. You can't exactly very well escalate in class, cause the girl might get annoyed....or she might be the girl that loves that and doesn't give a fuck about the class....but if she's a heavy note-taker...watch out. So you only have limited windows of time.

You also have a obstacle of escalating after class, because no doubt - she has some other class (im assuming this to be the case) but I would definitely get the logistics here since it seems you two are very comfortable talking with one another. In a way you already "opened" her. If she has another class, thats fine...if not just say something along the lines of "cool lets go." If she says where, say "i dont know, i havent decided yet." This is sort of indirect and not a direct approach, so shes not feeling like woah wtf ...he's a friend and now he's hitting on me?

I believe if you are in a friend situation like Richard La Ruina puts it, then its really a 1-2-3 process. Step 1 is to make deeper connections to her as a person, whats her goals in life, has she figured it out, whats her thing right now that you can connect with her on? While this is going on, have a smile on your face, kino with her (short and quick at first), and then do less of it and more intense kino as I gather. This becomes kino escalation. Then you can get in a sexual frame by two methods as Gambler puts it...

1. Use no kino but then have a sexual frame in your mind and your facial features (the face)
2. Use kino, and just make it extremely more intimate.

This will get her thinking of you less as her buddy and more of someone she can see herself with. Without kino, I've bantered with girls and found out (on purpose) that without this physical aspect...its extremely hard to be a GOOD friend let alone a boyfriend. Without kino, its like...this wall and you're just...acquaintances but you make her laugh but nothing comes of it.

Now is this risk-free? Nope. Kino escalation all of this is saying ...I want you sexually (not at first but as you dial it up...slowly then yea).

It's the only way my friend. The only way.

So, lets say that we are sitting down and having a drink and talking about our future, how will I kino her? I really don't know about the ways to touch, like where and how? Any detailed examples would really help. I plan to invite her to hang out with her after class on Monday. Please give me examples of some kino, when we are sitting down and talking, how should I escalate the kino?

Another thing, me and her have another exam on Monday, and I know that she will freak out afterwards, and will start to talk to me about it. What should I do then? What should I tell her? Honestly, I don't want to sit there and listen to her boring ass test taking experience. Guys help me out.

OK.

So escalation means no kissing (no difference between talking to your mum and this girl) to kissing (intimate touches of the back...held long time...maybe playful and taking it away).

If you're sitting, try to talk with your hands closer to your torso. If they're down below a table, you're making a lot of reaches for easy kino. Sit next to her, and just start talking. Ask her how her day was. There's only so much she can say : "oh great!" "amazing" etc

Honestly, to go from your place as a friend to suddenly becoming direct game - i believe this can really paint you as a creep. So you need to be indirect and then as the attraction builds through kino, you essentially become direct....you become a seducer (you find this role in yourself...you're not pretending. you want her in the moment).

If she says great ...you can do one of two things...you can be cocky funny (now a lot of people use this during direct game but give the woman direct messages...but it can be indirect too). If she says great...you can go for the "of course it is. because im the light of your day *kino*" If she says bad...be like "no..this is where you say ...its amazing now that you're here *smile with kino*"

Or...you can be completely different than most guys. if she says great....you can say "that sucks" and if she goes w...what? you simply smile and say its not amazing cause i wasn't around. that must suck for you. and if shes says horrible, same method: Great! and she'll go WHAT....and you go "now that im here, you'll realize why you miss me so much."

Now these are indirect because while they build attraction, it doesn't necessarily convey YOUR interests in her....now some people can argue to some level it does...but its nothing sexual.

You do more of this, you connect with her on topics..if there's an exam change the topic. Her "are you ready for that exam? we really need to go over topics..."

You: You know you're always so focused like a nerdy librarian. its funny. u never told me about what else you do besides these tests..etc

Now if she starts her lets just be friends (LJBF) bitch rant about the exam, you can just simply lead her. Say I know what will take your mind off of it, and take her on an instant date..where you can escalate into a kiss...maybe more...

Very detailed and very helpful advice. I will use your lines and make up something of my own too. But, taking her on an instant date. How about a drink on campus? I really can't go that far, its not convenient of that area. And, then escalate into a kiss, like how? I am a beginner in this thing, so I don't know how to escalate into a kiss after touching her hand for a while. Let me know.

Right...so you can easily lead her on an instant date. I think I've perfected this idea...it's essentially "bouncing a girl around" I find she'll have a memory of you and it's essentially takes a lot of pressure off the ACTUAL first date.

Bouncing around is kind of a pick up term for sleeping with a girl in a club....but that's very different. I see that very few people do this during day-game but its been termed "instant date." I find its pretty damn effective if the girl allows an instant date.

So you simply just get her logistics (very brief questions about what she's going to do later tonight, etc) after the indirect/funny banter, you kino her (hug her). I believe you can do this if you get her laughing. Now if she's not laughing but smiling you can also kino hug her. The thing about kino is ....we as human beings tend to go off of facial expressions. Some girls don't give any indications they like our kino...but their bodies will. So you meet her, touch her on the back of her arm below her shoulder, banter indirect with her then kino hug her...now I know some guys that go right for the waist (this is sexual) so you can try that but then it's very direct game. You can't do that then suddenly be indirect..talk about topics..all this stuff. Then you're going in direct, then you're talking about topics and still escalating very fast (hand holding within seconds literally).

Then after you do these things - go into normal conversation. Now you're already "high value" in this case. You're talking to her. Keep that frame of mind. I know when a girl is gorgeous, we tend to give her too much...and that's a fact but you have to just think..damn isn't she lucky talking to me?

So you're having a normal conversation about anything....try to avoid class topics. You can say something, or you can connect with her. Most guys run out of things to say. I know I did...and people telling me to "talk about fashion or girl-relevant topics" kind of wasn't as easy for me....I mean....really? Fashion....why don't I just join Project Runway? lol Don't make it an interview. So you say what do you like to do the most? If there's one thing you could do right now what would it be? What's the coolest thing you've ever done ? Any question that pops into your head ask it...and then just reflect on her answer....oh you're so artistic...that takes a lot of dedication....vision bla bla. You get the connection is simply you describing it deeply. Then another question. Now you can, if you think of something clever, banter/neg her after her answers. But you don't just keep bantering throughout the conversation..then you kind of become a clown - get what I mean? If you kept doing banter...it just wont work.

Structure: Ask a question - banter - connect (DONT relate it to yourself. You dont wanna be the pussy guy always agreeing/relating her reality into yours). (Indirect Game).

In Direct game, you're bantering right away...connecting for a little bit...but the topics never get truly deep...its always very surface level. What you're doing is essentially rapport. I didn't give you enough details to do deep rapport, because I'm afraid if you do too much deep rapport, and you don't keep the kino up - you can seriously end up as her best friend. This is why I gave you a simple model since you told me you're new at it...and sadly I had so much experience with this but now it never happens.

While you're doing this though, you can still kino lightly (Friendly kino) and then ramp it up. You then start talking slower....you look at her differently...your kino becomes more intimate (look away when you're going for a waist-hug kino), you hold it longer. Now if she kind of ....starts backing away. It's okay. She's not ready yet. But then you dial down the kino..still do it...

Thats really all kino escalation is. Best way put...its essentially mutual escalation. The girl allows it to be done and you both are comfortable with it. If the girl's not allowing it and you're ...trying to take it past a level, then obviously you're no different than one of those sleazy guys that are like "nice ass toots!"

Get what I mean? Now she knows you in some context. I doubt she'll BACK away in horror if you escalated. Now if you did these right, she won't say "what are you doing" or "i have a bf" (cause we know she doesnt) LOL.

What you should have done is taken her out somewhere fun! where you could have escalated instead of listening to her BS.

Yes, you are right, but I have never done that to a girl ever in my life, so it kind of gets a little intimidating. But, once I have done this, I started to feel that I can do this effortlessly in the future.

It was like the first time when I talked to an employee, that I started feel my heart racing, and then ran out of things to say. Next time, I talked to another employee and now talking to girls and employees seems to easy to me. No pressure. Yah, I will do that. But where can I take her out? For me to take her out somewhere out of the campus, need a car and I don't have one. She doesn't have one either.

I heard social proof is really important to the women you are sarging. So, I have come up with two things, one of which I will tell her when she asks me how my weekend was.

i) This girl I know for a while, really wanted me to visit her parents and I kept on saying no, but she really wanted me to meet her parents, so I had to go and visit them with her this weekend.

ii) One of my friend, she invited me to visit her parents and family reunion, so I went there and had fun.

Which one do you think will make her feel jealous, given that she has no IOI for me, I havent kino her yet and we are just classmates now. Or any other ideas?

Are these IOI? I am not a hot stud, I am an average looking guy, so I don't get any IOI based on my looks. But let me know if the work based on my personality?

Although we know each other for a while this what she does:
She laughs with me, during class, listens to me.
She called me the day before the exam, to study with her. So, when I showed up, she said, you found me.
She was laughing with me the entire time I was with her. She kept on asking me quesitons about the exam, which I dindn't know of.
She asked me wahts my last name was and then when she found out that we both are in the same room she said, we should sit together in the exam, and maybe cheat also.

Next, day, she was studying with two guys, but she called me to join her study group. Why? When she had two guys with her?
So, I showed up to her study group and then the were talking, and I was quiet. All of a sudden when she was laughing with her buddies, she said "you (me) have neat handwriting"
She was waiting for me to go to the exam room with her.
Next, when after the exam, we were about to buy something to eat, I saw my friend and was talking, but instead of paying for her food herself, she waited until I finished talking and then we paid together.

What do these mean anyways? Any ideas here? And based on these things, I plan to do kino on her tomorrow. Like we will be sitting down during the lecture, and I will put my arm around her, and then take it away. Let me know if these are IOI.

Hi yans,

#1 Even if you have average looks (most PUAs do) it doesn't matter too much unless you are obese, balding, something that lowers your alpha-male status. In other words, you look sloppy = bad.

I'm fearing absolutely none of those are IOIs. I think the game focuses way too much on IOI's but when you're in the moment with a girl...you just know if what she's doing is an interest indicator because I believe most of these do have a slight sexual undertone (at least her actual ...i want you IOIs). She gave you none. but this isn't to say you can't become sexual with her.

As for your girl...everything she is doing is definitely not like she hates you. That's good. She is showing interest in you but it seems to be more friend-based IOI.

Also...if she suggested cheating together...I'm starting to worry about one thing: that she is using you for her own gain. Now her waiting for you at the cashier is sweet, but it can easily be misinterpreted as well. How did you really feel about that?

Ask yourself this: if you didn't have this particular class with her or dropped 1/2 way, would she still see you? This is a good indication of her genuine interest in you as a friend. I'm not doubting her friendship but I feel it's starting to be based on ...weird class dynamics.

Also...if she called you to study with her when 3 guys already were, this means nothing unless she feels you're more valuable/smarter than they are. In which case, I swear a lot of smart people get deluded into thinking the girl has it in for them sexually or it could go somewhere, when it really can't without any role of your part.

Escalate, and separate yourself from her exam situation. Sit somewhere else during the exam. This sounds like it has disaster written over it. Also: be sure she's the woman you want.

Well, she didn't say that to cheat off me. She is very good in chemistry, and I am struggling with it. Whenever she asks me questions, I look at it and I go like yah, yah thats right, you got the right answer, even when I have no clue.

Her waiting at the cashier made me feel nothing, because she was waiting for me as a friend. I noticed that she is a very social person. So, I didn't feel anything special.
No, If I drop the course, or stop going to class, she would NOT want to see me, or its more like she wouldn't care. Since, at this point, I haven't used kino on her, I haven't flirted with her. There is no sexual tension b/w us.
Yah, she seems like a good girl, very social, something I like in women. But, I don't think me being smart will get me this girl. I feel me having a masculine psychology will help me.

OK...A lot of that cleared it up.

And the great thing is you are VERY honest about it. That is honorable and also most of all, speaks volumes about your inner confidence to actually assess the situation. She is sociable, you clearly like her because she can be sociable, and comfortable to be around and she looks good....usually in indirect game, these 2 things (sociable and comfortable) are essential in terms of conversation skills to push into sexual escalation.

I think if she's like this, you have a good chance of kino escalating her. She's clearly a confident woman, I don't think she'll put you down for it...but you have to do it bit-by-bit...and in the same interaction..ramp it up.

Yah, I heard you when you said, not all PUAs are good looking. But sometimes, not having good looks makes me a little blue. But, you know what Captain, I told myself, screw others who might criticize me based on my looks. I know that I have a charming smile, and I do. I know that women aren't attracted to a man's looks, they are attracted to a man's personality. As long as I am clean, and put some good clothes on, which I do everyday, I can get any girl I want. Since women are attracted to dominant and masculine men, I will develop these qualities within me to increase my chances to be with any women. But thanks for all the tips Captain, you sure helped me A LOT on my mission.