Major problem on our hands boys! OK here is the story.

I'm in my early 20's, single, black male, average height around 5`11, slim. She is French-Canadian, early 20's, I would say about a 7. We work together in a professional setting and our cubicles are right beside each other.

When I first met her, I didn't think much of her, not the prettiest girl or anything, nothing special really. She started to talk to me at work whenever she saw me or would come over to my cubicle and just chat. She would do this everyday, and even asked to go on walks during our lunch break sometimes. Now we hang out at lunch everyday go for coffee and what not.

Over the course of the last couple of months, I've really fallen for her. I never had this happen to me before and have never felt the same way about a girl before. I really do like her a lot, she is all I think about (I know that is messed up).

But the bad news is her contract ends soon and she leaves the company in a couple of weeks. She'll be moving away from the city as she's not from here. So to re-cap, I think she might have shown some interest in the beginning, but she is most likely aware that I like her now. I have made some remarks to her to the extent that I am going to miss her, she's funny and smart, invited her to my place (disaster by the way).

I don`t know what to do, I can`t tell her how I really feel, that is out of the question. What do I do, 2 weeks to countdown! I am thinking of going to dinner and kinda putting myself out there kind of thing.

Honestly if anyone has a solution, I`ll execute it step by step and report back. Please help! Can`t let a brotha be all in love and sh**.

Shamelessly bumping!

The thing is all I need to say is ``I like you a lot, I find you interesting, smart and pretty and would like to get to know you better``, but I can`t muster the courage to do that. If I do and she says no, then that`ll be an awkward work situation (even though she is leaving, she`ll probably end up telling some of her friends at work and I`ll have a bad reputation at work or she`ll say sure in which case I`ll be a happy man). But the risk is too great for me at this moment, so I need a game plan that essentially says `hey I like you`and puts me in good light.

p.s. I am not too familiar with picking up girls although I have read most of `The Game`at the book store, did n`t really think too much of it. But my interaction with the girl from work was purely on instincts, and we get along really well, I make her laugh, we have interesting conversations, and we`re pretty much inseparable at work.

But I am the BIGGEST PUSSY when it comes to asking for dates.

I'd say it sounds like she likes you, but then again what do I know?

If in a worst-case scenario it becomes extremely awkward, which I doubt will happen, she'll be leaving soon anyway. I know it's easier said than done, and that's why we're all here, but sometimes you've just gotta go for it.

You're doing good. You got her to your crib that already means she trust you and thinks you are safe. Now the rest is mostly mental.

The first thing you can do is to make sure your appearance is on point when you place your "bid." Have a hair cut, be clean shaven, and have on something nice.

The second thing you need is some confidence. Look man, if you dont talk to her someone else will. Matter fact, someone else will fuck her? Do you want that to happen? No, well go after what you want. Men do what they want, boys do what they can. You're going to do this. Make up your mind that you are going to do this and do not let your mind even consider not doing it. You're going to do this and its going to go well. Keep tell ing yourself that. Keep telling yourself that you will and you will. The Girl is yours!

The third thing you can do is have a plan. A man should always have a plan. A strategy. You know her well so you should know what she likes and what she dislikes. Have a good conversation that she likes. Talk about somethings that she likes. Above all else make sure that she is comfortable throughout the conversation, excited even. You sound afraid so it would be a good idea to plan out every thing you want to say, and memorize it well. Practice it and practice it alot so when the time comes it comes out automatically so you dont have to think about because if you ahve to think you're probably going to fuck up if you're nervous.

The fourth thing is this is not a proposal. Do not scare the girl with your feelings. Y'all not getting married...yet. Tell her that you have taken a liking to her (you find her attractive and you like her friendship) and that you are interested in dating her (whatever you say make sure it makes her comfortable and it is pleasant to her). Then ask her out on a date. Go to dinner. I am a fan of talking. This is uncharted territory for you and her so you want to take baby steps you don't want into a situation she is not comfortable in yet.

Fifth, if you are respectful and make the situation really comfortable she going to respect you for telling her and she probably will feel flattered. So don't worry about her telling coworkers. Haters will hate brother.


Take aways:

1.) Get Fresh
2.) Get Confident (affirm yourself)
3.) Have a plan
4.) Make her feel comfortable
5.) Don't mind others

"It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, ‘Always do what you are afraid to do.’" (Emerson)

Wow thank you so much for the advice, and motivation as well. Here is an update.

Two days ago she asked me what I was doing this weekend, I said I have no plans for the weekend yet and she's like yeah me too. I then told her, I'll look around and see if there is something we can do. Yesterday at the end of the day I told myself " I got this on lock" and headed over to her cubicle. I ended up passing by her cubicle and made a dash for the washroom (I was a bit nervous), at the washroom, I looked myself in the miror and said to myself "bro you didn't notice all the signs, come on, you got this".

I made my way back to the cubicle and was like hey you free tomorrow, she's like I just made plans to visit a friend in a small town near us but that on sunday we can do something. So I was like no worries. She asks what I had planned, I said I wanted to check out this party my friend is having. so that was it.

But good news, next week we're going out but with some of the co-workers. That might be my opening to kinda let her know how I feel like you suggested. I will report back shortly. But I will have her! Such a cool girl!

Just a thought....

I've been in a major drought in the last couple of years, slept with 6 girls in the last 3 years. That is deadly my friends, my game use to be on point, honestly. Then downhill for the last couple of years. But I just wanted to throw this out there, by accident I was got pussy by virtue of being in the dreaded friendzone. Yeah these two broads locked me up in the friendzone within the first couple of months of meeting them (they even use to tell me their guy problems). Then one night I was partying at their place, I was white boy wasted and ended telling them hey you guys are really good friends (I meant it at the time). within minutes I am making out with both of them at different points, getting a blowjob in the backyard by one of them. Towards the end I was so wasted I was like I am going home...they beg me to stay, which I do and choose to fuck the hotter one. I follow her into her bedroom, but nothing happened I left went into the other girls room and well we fucked all night...in the morning she was acting like I was her boyfriend, making out with me at the door and shit.

So how did I go from the friendzone, which apparently you cant get out of into that kind of scenerio. I think the friend zone has a great potential but has to be used with maximum discretion and skills, for me it was just luck but something clicked in their head, couldn't believe it. By the way there were 3 other guys in the house and boy were they jelous, these girls are just making out with me infront of everyone, wouldn't even let me breath.

If you're not looking at an LTR, but just a potential fuck until she leaves...

Then caveman yourself out of the friendzone.

If you two have had chemistry - you know if you've had 'those moments'... Be bold. Isolate - be direct, look her in the eye and tell her.

If you've kino'd to being able to hug her, I find it amazingly effective to use tonal changes in my voice, breathing on her neck and pause patterns to escelate. If there's a sexual vibe, try the scent/bite technique...

She'll have zero doubt of your intention.


(I'm mid-40's, running game in So Fla.)

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

The girl is yours man. You need to act as soon as you can however. Fear is making you procrastinate. Remember you are going to do this and as soon as you can. Shit you could have been hitting that ass tonight.

I don't like groups because there are more people and more variables, but if the people are for you and respect you and like you it would go well. But, if the group has hating ass women and cockblocking dudes...its a bad look. You want intimacy my friend. Ask her out. Ask her out. Ask her out. Maybe lunch, maybe dinner. Nothing to serious, but show her that you want her. You need to be confident though when you approach her. If she sees you doubt yourself, shes gonna doubt you.

The friend zone is not a bad place depending upon your method. With friendship come trust and comfort. The biggest obstacle between desire and action is fear. By making things comfortable you remove fear and allow people to do the things that they want to do (Alcohol can do this, Confidence can do this, Laughter can do this, etc...) Everyone likes to be around people that make them feel better about themselves. However, sometimes women sleep with guys to validate themselves or out of pure desire. A lot of PUA game is just getting a girl to sleep with you to validate herself. Then after they validate themselves why should they stay with you? See, YOu dont need to validate yourself with a friend. Any way a lot of girls will not sleep with you unless they feel like you care about them because they are afraid of being a slut.

It is understandable that you have fear. Fear is a natural protective mechanism. Nelson Mandela once said "Courage is not the absence of fear but the mastery of fear." It is okay to have fear, but you show it who is boss. Now go get this girl dog. She probably wished you were hitting it this weekend too, come on man satisfy this woman.

Hey, a little update....

So we're scheduled for lunch and a night out on the town with the co-workers later this week. But I am starting to get pissed off at her, she leaves the city in a week and I think we have good chemistry and all, but she's excited about leaving while I am sad she's leaving.

I am going to ignore her completely tomorrow, no lunch time get together or coffee. I gotta get her to think about me and our daily get together before she leaves. I'll let you all know what happens tomorrow...going to completely ignore her. I just want her to appreciate what we've had and how well we get along before she leaves.

I think this is a fucked-up move. The chick leaves in a week. That's seven days - if you help her ENJOY all seven days - then she remembers you as a great guy. If she remembers you as the guy who ran his lip out before she left - you'll be looked on as a bitch.

Think it through.

I'd try to hit it each night before she left and make that pussy mine.

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

You're bullshitting yourself. You're just too afraid to say what you want to say.

Hey everyone, I appreciate the advice and feedback very much.
But I think its time for to throw in the towel.

Today I didn't ignore her like I said I would, but I got some negative vibes from her.

I think she just sees me as a 'nice guy' nothing more...I tried to get her to be excited about hanging out but she wasn't too thrilled.

So instead of wasting all my time and energy thinking about her, I'm throwing in the towel on this one. As I do this I am reminded of the quote "what do you want? Pussy or love? And you can't have both"

It's just one of the women that makes the statistics...

If you close 7/10 you open... yoiu're doing great - let her simply be one of the three.

Move on, game on.

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

Stop being such a pussy, even when fighters throw in the towel they throw it in only after giving it their best shot. I am french Canadian, and I know french canadian women well. They don't like pussy's. Stop being a pussy, you have nothing to lose. She will be gone in mere days. Do you really want to live with the regret of not putting yourself out there.

If you can't say the words face to face, say it in a text message. If you don't already have her digits, get them RIGHT AWAY. Send her a message, speak your mind.

Even if she is not interested in you that way, she will surely have a new found respect for you, for being a man and not a fucking pussy.

BUCK UP SON!! Send her a well thought out text, don't tell her your feelings, tell her your thoughts. Tell her, how she has grown on you and made an impeccable impression, tell her you see her as a friend, but a friend you'd love to tare the clothes off of her. Follow your instincts. Talk to her as if you were talking to one of your guys friends about her.

It's your duty as a man to initiate, look at this as a trial run for the rest of your life, if you don't have the balls to say it to someone you have already built rapport with, how will you ever have the balls to do it to a stranger.

This is your life, it's better to be shut down then to live with the regret of not trying.

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Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.

Damn! This girl is consuming my life...I sleep I think of her, I wake up, I can't wait to see her...I am even starting to hate weekends cause I don't get to see her. On friday the day she leaves i'll let her know that I am going to miss her, she's the only reason I come to work and that I hope she values our friendship as much as I do and that we should definately be in touch.

I am not going to try to fuck her before she leaves, reason being, I truly do value this girl. In other words I'd rather still be her friend and continue kicking indirect game rather than get rejected and lose touch. This girl is doing her masters, she's classy..she's not the type you stick it in quickly over some PBRs and then expect things to be normal.

So this is my plan, couple of days before she leaves and I am just going to focus let her know that I value our friendship and we should be in touch. Then over e-mail, SPAM and phone calls I am going to continue to wheel.