hey herrn, just my two cents..

When you are having her entertain you over text, it's not much fun. asking her questions, getting her to give you bands because your sick and bored.. it's needy, and boring on her part. she doesn't need to know your'e bored or sick, your acting like she gives a fuck about you, she doesn't. She doesn't care who you are, or if your'e a big boy getting drinking whiskey.

Ask yourself, where are you going with this music thing? where are you leading her? Give her music, or better yet, just talk about something that isn't so friendship material. She seems bored right along with you...

Hope this helps

Things is, i was boored and i acutally wanted some music to listen to. But youre right. Badly played. Next time. Just needed a slap in the face to wake up. Thanks

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Dont fight it, enjoy it..

I think you need to change the things you talk about. Most of the times, if the conversation topics are boring, she will not feel challenged enough to reply.

Ask questions the need to answered with a bit more depth.

Here's a list of conversation topic that you can bring up in your talks which might ensure a good, flowing conversation between you both..

* There are very few topics deeper than music and musicians. Or cars, for that matter.

* Travel. Places you've been to, places she has been to, places you would like to go, places she would like to go. Why those places, why not any other?

* Things happening around the world right now. What might be the intentions behind people doing those things. Or the phenomenon which causes those things to happen.

* Spiritual questions, like "Is there life after death? Do you believe in that? Yes/No and why/why not" and such.

* About themselves, cause that's the favourite topic people want to talk about. Questions like "What is most important to you as a person?" and "What's one thing that you wish you could change in yourself" and why.

As a general rule follow a "Why not What" policy. I often tell people that "I am not as interested in the answer, as I am in knowing their reasons behind the answer" and that leads to quite a lot of new possibilities and opens a lot of threads for conversation.

Hope that answers your question well.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

That was a pretty stupid reply if you ask me.

If you're going to have a conversation with a girl, try to keep it as intelligent as you can, that way there's not margin for "huh?" and "what?" and "??" and all that. You need to be making your points clearly in your replies. So, that she can interpret your words properly and can give you the replies you want, based off on them.
Well, to be honest, you need to have longer conversations than 4 texts. Or if texting isn't your thing, then try to talk to her on the phone.

Talking = Comfort

As simple as that. The more you talk, the more you get to know her, the more she gets to know you, the more comfortable she will get with you. That's how it usually works. So, you know what you have to do.

Engage her in conversations. Build attraction. Try to have long conversations about significant topics related to you, her and the both of you.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

I just read your post.

No wonder, you are getting nowhere with her.

Firstly, she's 36, you're 24. And she was initially a bit reluctant about your display of attraction towards her, because she thinks you're a 'kid'. And with a 12 year difference, it's not hard pressed to see where that thought comes from.

Secondly, she's a smart, successful, on the go, career oriented woman. She's definitely got no time for 'Im home sick and boored so you have to help me with some cozy music to listen to.' She's not got time for such tantrums.

You want to get somewhere with an older woman?

Pursue her like a man. Then, and only then you can eliminate the niggling 'kid' thought from the back of her head. Men are bold, men are straightforward, men are brutal in their honesty and men don't beat around the bush.

If your objective is to have sex with her, stop wasting time talking of rainbows and puppies and get sexual quickly.

Also, there's a movie called 'Notes on a Scandal". You should watch that. For ideas.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Hi Don, i've followed your advice on being more direct and show more intent with my text messages. Here's the interaction with a HB

Me: Hello there HB. Hope you had fun last night

HB: Hello

me: Hmm I hope you're having a wonderful saturday afternoon. I loved the way you moved on the dance floor.

HB: Yes I am having a wonderful day so far Really? i didn't even knew how to dance

Me: Hey, give yourself more credit. I thought you did great. =)

HB: thank you!!! now you dance really good

Me: Thanks. I do get that alot. We need to pick up where we left off last night. What day is good for you next week?

HB: I bet you do!! Well next week i'll be busy.

Me: Aww thats too bad. You will miss out on enjoying my wonderful company.

HB: I know! It sucks!!!!

Me: No worries. I want to see you again. I'll keep in touch. =)

HB: That sounds great!!!! You seem like a nice and fun person

Me: Thank you. I agree. I am a nice guy... Just one that finishes first. (I think I messed up abit here since the image i'm portraying could be a potential player)

HB: What do you mean finishes first?

Me: That i'm a gentleman but I also know what I want without sugarcoating things. I'm interested and attracted to you. (I think I recoverred here)

HB: Well thank you for being so honest


I stopped texting there. I think I could have escalated into more flirting. Don, how would you have continued this conversation? Any flirting tips would be great! And also, how would you behave on an actual date to be congruent now that I have shown my real intentions to the girl? (by admitting my attraction towards her)

Hi Don, I need some of your help:

i met this girl 2 months ago, and since then i've hung out with her 2 times (strong attraction).

on wed i asked her to hangout on saturday, but she said she was busy and offered to hangout on friday instead.

so on friday and she texted me telling me how she got grounded and couldn't come. i told her she could call me if she needed any help, and i told her not to worry that she couldn't come because i made some plans with my other friends.

her (friday night 8pm): yaa i will thanks tho and i feel bad always flopping
me: (saturday 3pm): haha how about i let you make it up to me next weekend then?

she hasn't replied to my text, but i see her on facebook online, ect.

what should i do from here?

thanks

Thanks man! ill check it out!

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Dont fight it, enjoy it..

Not bad. Not bad, at all. You were very good in your conduct and handling of the situation. Also, there seems to be a sophisticated vibe about texting in full words, which is always a plus point. Emoticons could be toned down a bit, but to each his own.

Now, look at the highlighted part. Though you did well there. You could've used that as "You know that adage.. 'Nice guys finish last', don't you? I was referring to that. Also, what do you think of nice guys, anyway?" or something along those lines, and gauged her reply as a sort of standard against which you could calibrate your nice guy/ bad boy balance accordingly.

Also, believe it or not, confession of attraction doesn't suddenly give her all the power. You just spoke a truth or a fact. Nothing extraordinary about it. So, don't think too much about how it would change the whole equation. Just behave like you were before you told her. It is hers to do whatever she wants to with your confession. And she will appreciate that you set the record straight initially. Also, she can no longer "we are better as friends" you. So, it's either 'something more' or 'nothing', the only options that you'll be playing with here.

On your date, be confident, be your normal self, make her smile, kino-escalate (refer DiCarlo Escalation Ladder) and atleast get a kiss out of the whole thing. Everything past that, is a reward for your persistence.

It may seem to you that she might disregard your words sometimes or just be hard on you for no reason, don't give up, it's her little tests to check how sincere you are in your words.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Well, she's flaking on you. Flaking happens due to a variety of reasons : disinterest and lack of comfort are the biggest ones.

Focus on building more attraction and comfort with her. Basically, flirt and talk to her as much as you can. Try to have long conversations. Get 'deep' with her from time to time.

Also, don't give her another chance, if she still conjures excuses for not meeting up with you.

Trust me, if she wants it to happen, she'll goddamn make a way for it to happen. No grounding, no shit.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Thanks Don, your advice is excellent.

Hey, everytime I text to her, my goal is to try to set up a date, is that bad? I would try to send 1-2 flirty texts, then ask her to hangout on saturday..

i just called her now on saturday (3pm), talked for 5 minutes. so i talked to her about her weekend and stuff, random things, a little flirting. then i asked to rescheduale our date and i asked her if she was busy next weekend, she said she was busy on friday (4/20 ) but she was free on saturday. i ended the conversation with "i'll see you next saturday then", and she said okay and bye.

should i text her throughout the week and keep flirting with her so she doesn't flake, or what?

thanks

Hi don! im back!

OK so i knew i did it bad last time. I just wanted to say that im back and this time im gaming a 32 year old architect and its going good with the texting. I am practicly beeing myself but more aggressive and showing what i want and fucking her up on her own shit-tests. no beating around the bush, only some obvious metaphores. Just wanted to give you some cred.

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Dont fight it, enjoy it..

Hey don, I have a question, this girl who I recently had long lengthy conversations with and met in real life. Had a really good day with. And I think she felt the same way. Since we met, Ive started being less sexual with her. And she has recently got texts again on her phone. We used to have texting conversations every morning before she went to school and then she came online on msn. But recently we had an argument but things are starting to look better. She doesnt have these long lengthy conversations with me via text anymore and I was talking to her last night via texting and she said to me:
" LOL? Don't get cheeky. I really want a blackberry though lol. Im going to sleep now im tired already :L night x "
This was her text to me, we was talking about her phone and how shes getting a new one soon. The current time was 11:00, she said she needed to sleep. Could of been a lie. But no way for me to know for sure. I feel like she doesnt reply to all of my texts anymore because she feels like she has "won" me over and now shes texting other guys instead of me. My question is,
How do i initate these conversations with her via texting again?
Because if i text her in the morning, she doesn't usually answer now.

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Alex, Pimp in training.