| I'm having a similar issue with a Mormon girl. AMAZING rapport and energy between us, but she won't go down on me or give it up. 4 dates so far, with multi-hour makeouts and dry jumping on the 2nd 3rd and 4th. (What makes it more aggravating, is she's NOT a virgin. She's 23, but 2 years ago swore off premartial sex. Makes it aggravating to think past guys had it easier, OTOH it helps convince me I can change her mind back again.)
I haven't cracked het yet, but I have cracked a few past similar girls (who were actual virgins), and here are my thoughts with these situations:
1. As always with girls - "dont' change her mind, change her mood," as heariste(.wordpress.com) Girls are less logic-driven and more emotion-driven than guys.
2. I've let this girl know, truthfully, that I am seeing and screwing other girls, and being exclusive with her is absolutely off the table if we're not having sex. She's been amazingly supportive of it (jealous in a 'good' way), even aroused by hearing about my other exploits. (And don't act jealous if she's seeing other guys. Maintain confidence that you are her destiny.)
This should be your main bartering chip. whysoskinny, you MUST see other girls and you MUST tell her that's just how it's gonna be until she will let you make love to her.
You must do it to offset your oneitis, and to let her see that she could lose you and that you won't play by her rules.
If she says "would you be exclusive with me if I had sex," you don't want to immediately say "YES!" b/c that will sound like you're just saying what she wants to hear, and it sounds desperate. Say suggestive things like, "I've daydreamed about a life like that together," that make her think that the truth is 'yes' but that you don't want to say 'yes'...so that it won't seem like you're just saying 'yes' to sex her.
3. With my girl I'm playing a 'doomed romance' vibe - she, like most chicks, gets off on this drama stuff. I've told her, in a nostalgic and not nasty way, 'we both know we shouldn't really be together b/c of this, but we have this amazing connection and can't pull ourselves away'... Chick crack. Even if I never lay her, we're having a wild and passionate ride.
I don't want our relationship to be full of me griping about lack of sex, so instead, I try to make it positive energy 95% of the time, but she always knows that she could lose me becoming serious/exclusive to another girl with another girl.
In other words, the relationship should be positive - and the big negative should be her knowledge that it could end at any time. "Instill dread," as heartiste says. Sounds cruel, but it's not meant to be. It's just how it is.
4. Try for a blowjob as a compromise. I enjoy BJs as much as sex so this is a genuine prize for me, and in my experience, it opens girls up to sex later on.
5. State control / outcome independent mindset. Since I'm screwing other girls I don't get bad blue balls etc., and I genuinely enjoy my time with her, I'm not depressed about not sexing her. It'd just be a great additional positive.
6. Do NOT say "I love you." (You already have, so stop it, now.) Like she's doing with sex, you must dangle and withhold that prize. I say things to her like "I'm beginning to see I could love you if I let myself. I almost regret I'm so good at not letting myself when I know I shouldn't." I sort of talk about it the way she thinks about sex.
Relationships aren't altruistic. They're quid pro quo. I wish to god it weren't that way, but it is. Once you've taken the red pill you can never go back...
...but really, would you want to?
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