Puss eater - I don't want a relationship with a chick. I want to fuck. I want to fuck many, and often. I make that point known. I tell them up front I'm a commitment-phobe and am prone to run, that words like "relationship" "Boyfriend" "couple" skeeve me the fuck out.

I'm a 'challenge' They ALWAYS want to see if they have that chemistry/connection to change me... Good for them - give it the ol' college try laides, I don't give a fuck.

BUT - I'm not cheating on them.

Correct your shit and be a man.

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

While I agree our nature as men is to look at other women...you really need to grow a pair of balls and maybe make a decision here? To say you will never be satisfied may be a true statement, but restraint is the true nature of the real warrior...

Wow, decent debate going on here.

I don't really know what my feelings are towards this. I think the majority of your mindset regarding cheating comes from previous experiences. My first girlfriend, back in 2009 (i was 17), cheated on me big style, and proper messed me up. Even since then i've been completely anti-relationships, and the one I have had since, I cheated.

My Dad has admitted to me that he cheated on my Mum a lot when they were married. This surprisingly doesn't really bother me.

I do agree that if you aren't going to be loyal in a relationship then there's no point being in one, but the urge and the temptation of knowing you're doing something which you shouldn't, to me is really horny.

After all, we're all 'animals' aren't we in a way, it sounds silly it's natural to want to impregnant as many women as possible.

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Behind the lady who dances and the man who madly drinks, i'll show you the truth about love.

Bodega... That's all cool...

But - as soon as you cheat - end it!

Who the fuck purposely wastes a woman's time fucking her while cheating on her.... especially if she's thinking this will last. If it's a fuck - it's a fuck, no big deal.

If it's a relationship - and the woman thinks it's going somewhere - you're wasting her life, and her time! Get rid of her and at least let her find a MAN, not a boy who fucks her and others behind her back...but isn't man enough to do the right thing. She deserves a MAN - not a boy.

I'm commitment-phobic as well.... I choose NOT to have the relationship. I choose to admit it up front and ensure I'm being straight. And I choose to fuck often, so I work my game accordingly.

You don't HAVE to lie to get chicks people! If you do....you have issues.

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

y flame war on to cheat or not to cheat?

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Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.

If you don't have the balls to be honest with your gf and tell her that you wana sleep with other women then you don't have no balls to fuck anyone! If you gf doesn't stay with you then great because it means you're a free man to do whatever you want! Here we can't help you on how not to get caught! We ain't in high school!

Grow thicker skin. This is a debate - and thus far has been pretty civil.

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

I always go by, treat others how you'd like to be treated.

So if you wouldn't be phased by your girlfriend fucking other guys behind your back, then fair play.

It's not the actual cheating which is an issue for me, it's the dishonesty and cowardlyness

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Leeds Pick up Lair. PM for info.

[quote=""The Gift""]I always go by, treat others how you'd like to be treated.

So if you wouldn't be phased by your girlfriend fucking other guys behind your back, then fair play.

It's not the actual cheating which is an issue for me, it's the dishonesty and cowardlyness[/quote]

I really cringe whenever I see this 'golden rule' as it presupposes that others want to be treated in the manner we believe is right. Who's to say that others even want to be treated the same way we'd treat ourselves? This 'rule' simply projects what we think others want is the same we want for ourselves and can often lead us into trouble.

If a girl had feelings for me and loved me and wanted to be with me exclusively, but I wanted to sleep around, I would tell her this and would do her a favour by not getting into a relationship with her.

Going behind someone's back and cheating, especially when they're under the impression that it's an exclusive relationship is unthinkable to me. That betrayal of trust and deceit by someone they love is so damaging and heartbreaking to them, that it can completely screw up their future relationships for some time and you can sabotage their potential happiness with someone else.

If you want to see multiple people, I think you have to be honest with them really.

And guys like you only prolong don't the problem?
Yea blame the system not the people that make up the system. Good job in trying off load the blame here. Either be part of the solution or the problem your choice my friend. I will tell you cheating around makes you part of the problem not the solution. Because nothing you said here shows you will stay with a girl that you got pregnant. But you only seeking to cheat because you feel that you can and such will.
Congrats you became your dad. Heres the thing kids either grow up to be like their parents or opposite of them basically speaking. You grew up and became like your dad and now trying to justify your actions. You have zero interest in an open relationship because you get more of a thrill I bet from cheating than anything else.

And you think you should not be monogamous but should be able to cheat at will as that is what you think. So really in the end you want a different social construct nothing more.

This is bullshit, and you know why it's bullshit? Because you don't live in YOUR world, you live in THE world - you know, the one you share with other people where they are affected by your actions?

I've been glad to read this thread because it's just shown the level of ethics that people on this forum have. Perhaps this could be stickied and any future cheaters could just be referred to it so we don't have to waste our time trying to reason with people who aren't going to listen.

If you want sex with no strings attached, cool.

If you want a monogamous relationship, cool.

If you want casual sex, yet tell a girl you want a monogamous relationship, not cool.

That's the problem. It's not that you want to fuck other women, it's the dishonesty. Cheating is lying. And I'm not a saint, I think the world would be doing itself a favor if we took a deep breath and re-evaluated the idea of cheating. I don't think fantasies are cheating, I don't think dancing's cheating, hte list goes on. But when you enter a relationship, you and her agree that you will not cheat. If you want to cheat, dump her, because you don't love her.

And as for the "we are all right in our own world" well I have a story for that as a response.

I had a philosophy professor in college who once spoke out on female circumcision. WARNING, THIS IS GOING TO GET GRAPHIC, STOP READING IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ GRAPHIC CONTENT. In some areas of Africa, young girls are taken as they reach or approach puberty. At that point, a girl's clitoris is cut off, and, in some areas, their vagina is actually sewn shut save for a small opening for urination. The idea is that this will prevent her from having sex, due to the inability to experience pleasure from the clitoris, and well, the sewing part is just fucked up. My professor was giving a lecture on the practice as a part of a conference on ethics. He spoke out against the act as unspeakable evil, and a member of the audience stood up and interrupted his lecture to say that because my professor was never a part of that culture, he had no right to decide whether it was right or wrong. That spectator and several others then left.

If you think it's okay to do that to a person because there are no wrong views on the world...I'm sorry.

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These hos ain't loyal

I worked for the National Health Service (in the UK) and their definition of child abuse was "a child is considered to be abused if he or she is treated in a way that is unacceptable in a given culture at a given time". This is so that they don't have to offend people who come from cultures which obviously have fucked up values (and we have a few of those people here).

Point in relation to this thread being that moral relativism is for cowards.

You seem to be a leader of the forum Jerupa.
I don't expect to see you on this thread for very long because i'm about to flame you. But since i also believe you didn't quite get it, i'm going to make a crystal clear summary of my point somewhere tomorrow.

Let me start off with asking you some personal questions. I have to know to what extent i have to take you serious. You've been very personal in your post so not just dodge these questions like the other people trying to debate me. ANSWER THEM

Questions
- How old are you?
- Wat is your experience in LTR?
- Would you consider yourself psychologically monogamous or physically monogamous?

You see i have all the reasons to believe you haven't got the slightest bit of experience in life. And instead of debating me you should be glad you encountered me. I write this post for people that are willing to think out of the box and improve theirselfs and the lifes of their partners. Read what DJ_Z wrote. He talks about relativism. That is something like being able to detach yourself from groopthink and grow a mind of your own. But after reading your post i'm so disappointed that i might have to consider you a lost case.
question
- What is your solution?

Me cheeting around?
Read better my friend, i don't cheat around. I have no relationship where i'm dishonest.

I'f your solution is suppress your instinct and be physically monogamous. Go and try it man, sure!! You're not honest to yourself and to your partner about yourself. But hey you stick to the rules. Good for you, try it!! But if you, and i have to write this in capitals, IF YOU CANNOT WARRANT (100% SURE) YOU CAN STICK TO YOUR GIRL FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, BE LOYAL TO HER AND RAISE HER KIDS. you are nothing but lying dishonest pathetic creature!!! Your waisting this girls precious time where she's stil young and can have children. STOP LYING TO HER AND YOURSELF and let her built a relationship with someone who is not using her for his serial monogamous purposes.

I have no respect for guys that are loyal to a girl but do not tell her they don't see themselves raise her children and stick to their familly's. DON'T WAIST HER TIME!! You only postpone the moment where you snap and break up with her. and that makes you one of the 50-60% of the people that have failing mariges/ leave their children alone.

If you want to stick to your disney beliefs until you are 45yo and come to realise that you've been living your life like a robot and fall into midlife crisis like many others i have nothing to discuss with you from here anymore.
And this is were you get personal. You tell me i have zero interest in an open relationship because i get more of a thrill from cheating than anything else. Dude let me give you some advice. If you seem to know what i think stop reacting to me and start posting for me

You think this is me
- I get a thrill from lying and being dishones to my girlfriend
- I love violating the rules i've set up in my relationship
- I like to give a false identity of who i am to the person i love most

SINCE I GAVE YOU 0,0 NO REASON TO THINK ABOUT ME LIKE THIS I NOW HAVE ALL THE REASONS TO BELIEVE THIS IS YOU. So for all you childish unexperienced posters out here. Let me save you from dishonesty and pain by telling you this story.

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THE STORY

This story is about me. It's not a beautiful. I't's not perfect. It's not even nice. This story is sad, disappointing and confronting but it's the stone cold truth!!!!

Before i started LTR i had serious, i mean serious onitis for one year. I was deeply in love with this beautiful girl that was 3 years older than me. I was a persistant intelegent little fuck and after a year she took my virginity. I believed i'd grow old and happy with this girl. But she seem to have other plans and left me, making sure i understood i was nothing but a fuck to her.

You can do this to a lot of people but not to me. I managed to stick around her but she couldn't tell me she loved me. She was cold and hard to me and i was deeply in love! In the first year she told me this would never work out maybe 150 times and that year i cried so much, soooo much i, i will never cry more in my entire life.

I was deeply in love and could never ever cheat on her. After a year she told me she had been fucking other guys on the side. I was broken!!! She tore me down!!! I was hopeless. She told me i should have fun on that holiday that i had planned with my friends. The day before i left for vacation i saw her sneeking upstairs. I followed her and heard her arrange a meeting with multiple guys......

That vacation i snapped. I went out with my friends and there was this beautiful girl that was 3 years older as well. We kissed and the next day i fucked her in every corner of our holiday apartment. After the vacation i felt guilty but at the same time i knew my girl didn't care about me and had been fucking around.

I couldn't lie to her and told her crying out loud what i did. We started to cheat on eachother every weekend and confessed it to eachother every sunday or monday while crying and telling eachother this should stop. This went on for two years and than i made the decision.

This is wrong i thought. This should stop. I removed all the numbers in my phone. I was going to be loyal. My friends saw me change and i didn't talk about girls anymore. I just covered it up. I closed the chapter and became a MAN. No cheating no dishonesty, no lying. And i have to admit it felt good the first 9 months. I was the pinnacle of maturity. In the next two and a half years we lived together. I started to study like a mad man, i gratuated and won prises at the university for my work. We raised cats together and i worked on our house.

The person i describe might seem like the most happy person in the world living the ideal life. However this was nothing but true. In order for me to live this way i had to sacrefice my life. I wasn't honest about who i was anymore and i wasn't myself around other people. There was no point of getting out with my friend anymore and besides my gf wouldn't trust me with them anymore.

I looked at my life and felt i had to sacrifice my life for my gf and my future children. And i was ready for it. I would work on my career and bring money to my familly. But once a year after the summers when i had seen al my friends have fun and i was still believing i was a mature man that was going to be loyal and do wat i was supposed to do i snapped.

I saw my friends have fun and realised that i could only be happy if i was honest about who i was and what i want. I saw i could not be able to keep this act up for the rest of my life and i would start to cry. Crying hard and feeling sad i tried my girlfriend to tell the truth. the words would come out like i was telling i killed someone; "I'm so so so sorry but i feel i cannot be loyal to you the rest of my life and that if i would try to be, at some point i would snap and leave you behind with our kids"

This was the person in the world i loved most and with tears in my eyes and with sacrifice of my own feelings i told her she was allowed to cheat on me so she could start to find another guy. Someone that could give her the promise! She never cheated on me and wouldn't believe this was me. I now told her this hard truth with feelings of shame and guild more and more frequently. But she wouldn't believe me. And i understand it was hard to believe because i had promissed myself to never cheat again years ago and i sticked to it. You have to understand that i felt like i was homosexual i a world of homophobics

Over the years my life adjacent to the relationship became non existing. I had to destroy myself to the point where i had no friend anymore 0,0 and had monthes and mothes of depression. But hey i was loyal. My girlfriend started to treat me bad and started to get physically agressive with my pethetic existance.

After i was nothing but a piece of crap i decided that taking my life back was more important than being loyal. And i left after a fight were my girlfriend injured my arm.

After half a year i started to live again and i enjoyed life again. She now noticed my changes and wanted me back since i became such a happy person. I told her going back into a monogamous relationship will never happen again. We now work on a open relationhip

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HI