convincing ex to become FWB



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PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 7:02 pm 
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Meeting my ex next week. She's been contacting me sporadically once a month or every other month since we broke up (not being emotional, just with random questions in the subject that she knows i would have some knowledge).

I know she may still have feelings for me, but how can i turn a hangout situation into asking her that I think we should just have a sexual relationship. She was raised catholic and may have some guilt about doing that, but I know she enjoyed the sex with me and might be open to the idea.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 8:21 pm 
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Meeting my ex next week. She's been contacting me sporadically once a month or every other month since we broke up (not being emotional, just with random questions in the subject that she knows i would have some knowledge).

I know she may still have feelings for me, but how can i turn a hangout situation into asking her that I think we should just have a sexual relationship. She was raised catholic and may have some guilt about doing that, but I know she enjoyed the sex with me and might be open to the idea.
Hit the meeting as if your world is going awesome - even if it isn't. Show her the 'fun guy' that was you - try to tap into that psychi.

Then watch the IOIs.

For me, I would go for the hug and watch the body language you receive back. If she sinks into you - IOI. If she pulls back - well, then you have another hurdle...

All positive indicators thus far if she's kept sporadic contact and wants to meet (and I NEVER allow "we'll meet as friends" from an ex. What's the point? Call them out and say "No definitions or we meet as ex-lovers..." Gain compliance before the meeeting...

Good luck!

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 12:03 am 
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I just pulled this off successfully a couple days ago, so here's my method:

1) Invite her to meet with you, somewhere low pressure, like a coffee shop. Preferably in a nice area of town. DON'T frame it as a date, just ask if she would like to meet you.

2) Meet, get her some coffee, sit down and talk. Stay very relaxed, and talk to her like an old friend. Be genuine and tell her about your life, using plenty of DHV's and all. Not bragging, of course.

3) Ask her if she wants to go on a walk (the reason for the nice neighborhood). Hold the door for her, touch her back on the way out. Any excuse you can for kino is good. Walk and talk for a while. Put your arm around her for a minute, then find some excuse to take it away (scratch your nose or something).

4) Put your arm around her again, and leave it this time. Keep walking and talking like normal, don't act awkward, make it completely natural, like you're still dating. Find a nice setting on your walk with nobody around and kiss her. Then say something like "I couldn't resist." Then keep walking again with your arm around her.

5) Kiss her again later, but make her wait a bit. Plenty of talking in between, which builds some tension.

...this is as far as I got the other night, since she had already made plans for after our date, but here's what I would have done otherwise:

6) Think of some excuse to come to her place or bring her to yours (hers is preferable, since she likely feels more comfortable there). Look at her artwork, watch a movie, whatever.

7) Go to her or your place and start watching the movie or whatever. Make out with her after a bit (again, make her wait for it). Then stop for a minute and talk/watch the movie/whatever. Start making out again, but get into it a little more. Stop for a second, start again. Repeat this cycle, escalating slowly each time.

8) Have naughty sex. Hang around a bit and talk some more, but not long. Tell her you loved hanging out with her again and leave.

9) Continue doing the same thing whenever you like, and never bring up the prospect of a formal relationship. If you keep doing it long enough, she will at some point. At that point you just have to be honest and there's a good chance your arrangement will end there. Girls always get attached, so it never works in the long term. You either have to agree to a relationship at that point or find someone else.


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