I'm having a hard time re-framing failure as a positive thing and as something to learn from. You guys have any tips? I know that I need to fail and push myself more if I want to improve I've just always had that 'I can't fail' mentality. Any helps appreciated.

Thanks

Well, you can set the criteria to be low. Such as, 'just approach', and you can gain momentum from that. I can't fail is way to high of a goal and it will work against you. After every rejection, you can analyze what happened during the approach and what you can improve. You can also get a good laugh about it later. Always positive.

Failure as in getting dumped by a girl or not getting her number and getting rejected?
If you are feeling bad b/c some girl rejected you, just don't have any expectation next time. Next time, when you are with a girl and asking her for coffee tell yourself, that she will say no, and you know that, but you will still take a shot and see how it goes. If she says yes, then great, and if she says no, then its not big of a deal. But, if you can't do that either, and if it is still bothierng you, then go out to malls and bars and coffee, and try picking up girls, ASAP. I have tried that, and just by talking to girls, it makes me feel good. The secret is just don't have any outcome to one particular girl. We can never know or predict women's behaviors. So, have no outcome. You will be fine after that.

Embrace failure. Rejection ain't shit. Don't analyse failures. Rejections should motive you to do better and more. And more means better

You've already read Mystery Method, I believe.

Mystery makes a great point. He says think of this as a videogame - you lose, you start over. Don't attach too much importance to the outcome, focus on the process.

What I personally do, and I've learned this from the awesome board members here, is to journal everything. This really helps see the mistakes i made. once that's clear, i'll put some thought into it and also post here and get feedback. (Slywalker had a top 10, i read a while back, take a look if you haven't already)

I go back and read what i need to work on, and over time, i am consistently seeing improvement.

One suggestion I have is to look at David Wygant videos and Sasha videos, I found them helpful for me.

Edit: Deleted, double post error.

A woman that turns you down means less time wasted, and more time you can spend with other women.

consider just meeting the criteria of doing the approach and making your intentions clear, a success

the outcome is irrelivant, as to be honest not doing the approach gets you ''rejected'' the same as doing the approach and failing, doesn't matter if the blowout is harsh and embarassing, doesn't matter if she gives you her number and flakes, doesn't matter if she has a boyfriend, doesn't matter if she goes out on a date with you then nothing happens and she says she thinks you're really sweet but she just wants to be friends

in the end, if you wanted to have sex with a girl, and she does not have sex with you, and that was your criteria for success, then you have not met your criteria, it is all the same, and not approaching, and not risking ''rejection'' is infact by default being rejected, and doing so by your own choice, rather then trying to gain something when you have nothing to lose by approaching, and have nothing to gain by not approaching

there fore your only real criteria for success should be doing the approach it's self and expressing your intentions

Tony Robbins has a quote - "There is no such thing as failure only feedback".

That is so true. Absolutely nothing needs to be seen as failure, rather try see it as a valuable life lesson.

Framing an outcome as failure means you went into it with a certain expectation which wasn't met. Try move away from that outcome-expectant mentality into more of a 'see what happens and be in the moment' state of mind.

one of my favorite quotes: "experience is what you get when you didnt get what you wanted" you calling experience failure?