I thought I'd give this a try. I'm a woman and I've been familiar with these techniques for years. I can usually tell when a guy is using techniques and get a little bit of satisfaction in calling him out on it. Especially negging, which can be annoying if it's done badly.

My question is, I met a guy online, we went on a date, I know he was using this stuff... but I actually really like him anyway. He's smart, funny, cute and I think we're suited to each other. I can't tell if he's using these tactics on me because he likes me ... or just wants to sleep with me. Or just for fun. It's so frustrating!

Maybe he doesn't like me at all - he hasn't asked me out again and it's been a couple days since our first date. Please use your powers for good and help a girl out. Should I just give up on this guy?

why can't the two be connected?

he wants to have sex with you = he doesn't like you?

this is confusing, chances are if he is even going out with you he is interested in you or he wouldn't be putting this effort into pursueing you

however if you are woundering if he is seeing other women, or if he will commit to you if you sleep with him, that question unfortunatley only he can answer, there is no way to tell besides to give him a chance and see what he is about

and if you don't want to give him a chance, then oh well that's your choice, but just as a side note, most of the guys who practise this pua stuff get into it because there is a lack of women in their lives, not an abundance, how ever there are plenty exceptions

First of all, what exactly do you want with him? Don't think too much about what he wants, think about what you want. Give him a call or send him a txt msg asking him what's up in his life these days. You won't lose anything trying that.

Yes, I know a guy who likes you also wants to have sex with you. I'm just thinking, is he using the game JUST for sex? Or, as you say, maybe he feels he needs the help.

I guess what I'm saying is that knowing that he's using tactics makes me doubt myself - do I like him or do I like his game? I think I like him, but I feel kind of dubious knowing that he's using this stuff.

I sent him a text about a day and a half after our date, just a link to something we'd talked about on the date. I think the guy should text first. Usually if the guy doesn't text, I just let it go because if he really liked me, he would text. But I guess I thought, what the hell, why not, I liked him so I might as well see what happens.

He wrote me back a one word response right away. Gave me absolutely nothing to work with, so I haven't written back. :( It's my turn to text him. Everyone I ask (girls) says, give up, he's playing games, not worth it. But it's rare to meet a guy that I like - and I like him despite the fact that he's using the game. (I think! LOL)

Call him out on this PUA tactics like you do with other guys. He'll then try to prove to you he is worth it, and if he doesn't he probably isn't that interested.

Don't always wait for the guy to text first, I don't always and I use it as a measure of interest from the women.

I have tried to meet women online, but it mostly didin't work. I am 21 and so I was looking for girls in 20s ans 21s. I never uploaded my photo, so maybe no reply. I didn't want to get publicized to my fellow college students. What would make a woman to start talking to a guy (from a woman's perspective)?

Think about it from his perspective. Online dating is really frustrating for guys. Most guys will send a message to like twenty girls, and only get one back. In order to even get that, he has to come up with something especially creative, because the girls are getting 100 messages a day saying "Hi, how are you?" Then a very small percentage of those girls who reply back will reply back a second time, and even fewer will give phone numbers or agree to meet.

So in essence, he's trying really hard (maybe to hard) to make you like him, because he likes you. Perhaps being completely sincere is the way to go, but more than likely experience tells him the opposite. If he's being rude, call him out on it. "Negging" is supposed to be fun and playful, and most girls love it when it's done right. If you're worried that he's a player and only wants to sleep with you then dump you the next day, just ask him what he wants. It seems to me most girls are pretty good at detecting bs. Tell him what you're looking for and ask if he's willing to accommodate your desires. But say it nicely and frame it as though you're giving him the benefit of the doubt; I've had that talk with some girls who came across as really bitchy, which doesn't make me feel inclined to be sincere.

My female friends who are on pof get on average 100-150 messages a day. the average male probably gets at best a few a day, if even that. Food for thought.

Um, guess what? Online dating is THE MOST FRUSTRATING thing EVER for girls. Ever! I went on a date a couple days ago and the guy looked nothing like his photo. By the way, I contacted him.

I do not get a 100 messages a day. They are few and far between and the good ones are ever more rare. I'm not on crap sites like POF. Those are horrid and useless. 100 messages from 100 losers isn't worth my time.

I took your advice and he messaged me back, but was cold. And I even messaged him again, still cold. I'm totally cool with someone not liking me, but he's responding / sending mixed messages. So not sure what to think! I answered him with a statement rather than a question because I've sort of given up / lost interest in him.

I lose interest in guys who don't seem interested in me rather quickly.

@yansaccnt

[quote]I have tried to meet women online, but it mostly didin't work. I am 21 and so I was looking for girls in 20s ans 21s. I never uploaded my photo, so maybe no reply. I didn't want to get publicized to my fellow college students. What would make a woman to start talking to a guy (from a woman's perspective)?[/quote]

Okay. Online dating is terrible for women, for several reasons. I was on POF and that was terrible. Just a bunch of asshole guys messaging me overly sexual messages / "ur so hootttt" type stuff. Don't do that. Just open with a nice one-line message

"Hey, I really like ___ too. You seem cool" or something like that. Not a novel, that's annoying. Nothing overly formal.

Your profile: If you write with a bunch of spelling errors / text speak, you look retarded. Don't do that.

Post at least 3/4 pics of yourself. One looking handsome (profile), one looking quirky / funny. NO pics of you standing by a car. NO pics you took topless of yourself in a mirror with your iPhone.

I message guys I like first, if they're really funny and cute.

Hope that helps?

I think guys think that girls get a million messages. Maybe I get a lot of messages, but I don't look at them if they're a bunch of nonsense. I don't mind if a guy says I'm cute but I'd rather just talk.

NEVER EVER suggest meeting up in the first message. It's creepy.