Post break up



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 Post subject: Post break up
PostPosted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 2:55 pm 
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Things have been going badly with my girl and i. Last Tuesday i had a talk with her and she told me we should see each other less (fewer days per week, her words) and that there are some stuff that she doesn't think she can get over about me, doesn't know if. Wouldn't say what. I told her w/e and that we'll talk later. She didn't call me until this day, i haven't. It's been 5 days. We met at the gym, she gave me the cold shoulder. I did the same. We didn't really end it, nothing about it. Her giving me a hint with the "see each other less" isn't really a break-up.

She told a friend of hers that i wasn't the kind of guy that she wants to be. DIdn't tell me shit.

Her mother called me (I'm good friends with her, we talk a lot) and told me that she doesn't think her daughter's interested anymore and that i should move on.

Now it's safe to assume that i won't get back with her, but i feel like i've been treated like shit. She basically just swept the dirt under the rug and pretended it wasn't there. Ignored me like i'm nothing. Would it be AFC to call her and confront her about it and ask her why she dumped me ? Ask for an explanation? Shit, i don't like living with the idea that i've wasted 3 months of my life and not even get some closure. What bothers me is that she hasn't really given me any answers or reasons for giving up on me.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 3:36 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jun 17, 2011 1:10 pm
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It doesn't matter but you can always try to get explanation. But then it still would be a lot of lies and beating around the bush.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 8:24 pm 
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She isn't worth your energy, forget about her and move on. F-closing other HB's helps a tremendously big deal in speeding up this process.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 12:12 am 
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Move forward, not backward. I know you want resolution to this but honestly, having been in many long term relationships I can tell you that it doesn't always end well and sometimes its best to just move on. What you can do however is journal your feelings which is a good way for some people to process intense feelings and move forward. If at some point in the future you'd like her to be privy to these thoughts then you can email or mail them to her. But for now I think it's best to engage in a little self-care, that is go workout, hang with friends, do things that put you on the path forward.

Focus on the future, don't get caught up in the present, nor stuck in the past.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 1:14 am 
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I agree with asesino about writing a journal. It really helps when you have thoughts in your head. Personally, I feel that when my mind keep thinking about something it's because my mind doesn't want to forget about it. So writing it down lets your mind know that you could always go back and review so it could let go at the mean time.

Somethings I disagree with other members here is letting it go and moving forward. You seemed really bothered and the last thing I recommend is ignoring it. It's like dropping a needle on the floor. Until you find it, you'll never feel safe walking barefoot. You'll always have the doubt you have now when you meet another women. That she'll dump you for reason you don't know. It'll be a chain effect, which include you hiding yourself or not being open with her, which could cause you your relationship.

I'd say, call her. BE CALM! Being angry will reduce your IQ which means you won't be thinking at your highest level. Tell her you need to talk face to face. If she refuse(I would have no respect for her after that), then you know what she afraid to face her problem so move on. If she agrees and you meet. Before seeing her, write down a list of things or question you want to say/ask. When you meet don't be pushy. If she say something you don't like hearing, WRITE IT DOWN so it's out of your mind for that moment and move on to the next question. After your done and she done, tell her your respect her for seeing you and you got your closure. Ask if she got hers. Then part away. Always remember, stay CALM!

I have this happen to my 3.5 year relationship. I wasn't thinking straight and after hearing one thing I didn't want to hear I blank out. Nothing she said came in my head and I couldn't answer any question she had. We ended in a bad term. So now I have an idea what to do next time I run into the same situation.

I hope this help. I wish you the best of luck and hopefully you get the closure you deserve.

-Jax


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