Around 3 months ago I met a new girl who was in a relationship. during a small breakup they had we got close over the phone.. they go back together but only for another month or so.

This is where the problem comes into play.

5 days after there real breakup she calls me to have a date night at my house.. after a bit I agree.

The date goes well but we don't kiss. after the second date she sent me a long SMS explaining that she had to take things slow, and that she really really liked me and wanted believe we could really go well together. We met up around 3 times after ( she slept over swell) that and still didn't kiss, i was trying to take it as slow as possible. Last monday we kissed, and moved forward, we met up and spoke on the phone and texted each other all week.

Yesterday she met her x to sort of make it final and give him his things back, she explained the entire story ending with he kissed her and she froze but she never kissed him back she said.

Anyway she met me straight after we kissed cuddled etc. Later that night she slept over all went well.. I didn't try and have sex with her.

Anyway today she wakes up, and she's very distant, she says that she doesn't think its right that she's with me and she is thinking about her x boyfriend all the time. She didn't think it was fair on me and if we should happen we will happen, but she needed it to happen on a clean slate.She said again that she really likes me and she really wants to be with me, but she just couldn't right now. She kept on asking for what I thought, i told her it was her choice, and not one for me to make. she slowly moved to decide to just end things and said she will call me later.

How do you guys interpret it? the girl is a truly respectful,honest girl. I don't wish to lose her just because its bad timing however I will if i have to. Ive had enough breakups to not want to be hurt again.

difficult man , sounds like a nice honest girl tho specially for telling her . you could try a little bit of a freeze out .. its realy up to wat you feel tho .. is she worth waiting around for ? spending time waiting for her and it might never happen? .. weigh up your options and feelings ,have a good think before u make a decision. if youve said u have had enough of being hurt i suggest u dont waste time over her , ull just think about her to much and having to wait isnt good for a mind to dwell upon

Thanks for your reply,

yeah I guess so, I'm just scared that slowly her x will convince her to go his way... not sure how well he will take the fact that we kissed and slept together (non sexually). However I am tick all the boxes in comparison to him.

her friends love me ( and i mean, they went warning her not to hurt me)
steady job,
she can't find a flaw in my character but a million in his ...

i guess not having he heart is simply enough in these situation..

Im 24 and she is 20, as this whole situation might sound rather childish to some, but really its not.

For now I'm going to wait and see, once the saturday checkmark passes, I walk.

I will tell you this now and the hard way because i wear to god you're story is exactly like mine as if i lived your story. SAME words as well that she wanted time to clear her head. So 3 weeks down that line she went on a date with another guy lool! So basically what i've learnt is that she turned me down gently so my advice to you is to move on because it happened to me before and i don't want you to wait 2-4 weeks and then find out she went to someone else and not you because it's gona hurt you big time.

Move on

Cough, well said. So let me complete the story. She decided to get back with her X. Now her doesn't know about me just yet. We had a long long chat yesterday and basically i told her i was angry by the way she tried to use me and she asked if we could be friends i turned her down. this morning i woke up not bothered so i apologise about the friends thing and said I'm sure we can be ( very well knowing that her boyfriend will lock her down again and not let her speak to me ever).

Moving on, I still think this girls likes me. However I'm quite pissed off about the situation. So I was thinking of getting my brother to tell this guys best friend about me and her, knowing that he will tell him before she has the guts to. This will obviously lead to an instant end. However she might think it was all my doing and never come back and be angry at me...

So im not sure what the right approach is. I want her back but not if I'm second choice in this manner. WHat do you guys think, go ahead and play the nasty game to force a comeback or let her do it on her own speed.

Don't waste no time there man because i promise you now she's back with her ex she won't come back to you. I was so adamant that that girl liked and she was gona come back to me but instead she went for someone else. Don't hang on hopes because you'll hurt yourself. Do what i did, go back out on the field and meet new girls, bang em and move on. It's the way that life is. I been hurt so badly and trust me buddy it sucks. I'm not trying to kill all your hopes but your story was very similar to mine and i just told you how things ended. Move on man just move on, she's not worth your time or heart. If she'd done that to you now then how do you reckon things will be again in the future? can you trust her?

Just keep asking yourself that question.

Hey,

Thanks again for your reply. Im moving on or trying to, it was hard as for a second i said wow i finally found someone i clicked with really well. But she is an immediate part of the group of friends.. ones which now she won't be able to be simply because I'm in it, and lead it most of the time.

Its all weird, but any how she's not back with him yet, but I made sure that she got a clear message that I'm really not bothered.. which seems to have disturbed her as her friends told her that.

She's obi still going for the x and having said that I'm going to move on. this is all happened in really bad bad timing.

Well i'm glad to hear that buddy because that's what you need. The person i told you about who went on a date with someone else 3 weeks down the line, brought that guy to a party me and her were invited to. Now i acted like i wasn't bothered in any way but deep inside me i was hurt and i was hurt for a few days after that. Now i'm looking back at it, i realised that i was just a rebound, and how stupid i was to think it was going to work. If she ever comes back to me then i'll never take her back. I can never trust her again plus i realised that i wana be single and enjoy my life with different girls and that's what you should do. When the right person comes along you'll feel it but until then live your lifeeeeeeeeeeeee

Hi,

Thanks again, I'm really trying to forget her, but she decided not get back with her boyfriend and is now scared to speak to me. Im very very close with her friends so I pretty much know everything thats going on with her.

Now i organised a picnic on saturday for around 40 friends.. she was invited but she did not stop mentioning it to them saying she was scared that it would be akward and that I would be cold with her. Since I lead her group and organise events she felt uncomfortable.

Today she said on the event that she couldn't come because she had tons of work but I know its not true. Should I speak to her in a friendly way or just ignore her until we meet because at the end of the day we are in the same group.

I know its best i move on but her character and mine work perfect and i really like her... not like the previous girls i had.. I'm just lost and can't get her out of my head.

That's her way of saying "I'm not going to make a move, you have to."

She's done her part by sleeping over your place. Actions speak louder than words.
I think she feels rejected by you since you never made your move and she provided you with the opportunity.

How would you feel if you put yourself out there (women are very subtle but this is a massive sign) and nothing happened.

You always play the slow game to get to the opportunity. When the opportunity presents itself you have to take it. If you hesitate things go pear shaped. This was the time to switch gears.

hmm, Im not sure i quite understand.. we were seeing for 2 weeks and I made plenty of moves, but she wanted to try and get back to her boyfriend and left. (she told me that if we had to happen we will happen before she left"

Now I spoke to her today to come to picnic this is how the conversation went:

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according to this book, i cant read.

The key to playing out rebounds is to use your positioning as an advantage ("Oh wow, he's a breath of fresh air in my life!") but to NOT act like a rebound. Don't play out your role as an emotional tampon. Be the icy smooth Alpha she craves.

The miscorrelation between what a girl says and what she means can't be over exaggerated. She says she likes you but kisses her ex? That means she doesn't like you as much as you think she does. You need to judge a girl by her actions and not let her words cloud your take on a situation.

A girl is hung up on her asshole ex who moves fast secksually and always devalues her. She tells you she wants to do things slow this time.

What conclusion should you draw? That you should go slow? Fuck no. Base your decisions on EMPIRICAL EVIDENCE. If the ex she was so in love with is an asshole... she probably likes assholes. That means while the both of you were in the whole transition phase, you should've made it a point to neg/DHV/move fast and you should've been TALKING TO OTHER GIRLS the entire time.

Rebounds don't fail by virtue of being a rebound, they fail because guys are always inclined to play out their ROLES as rebounds because they feed off of all the positive attention they get from acting like a nice guy. "Omg! You're nothing like my ex, you take things slow! I really like you!" Fuck that. Dick in Pussy.

You got LJBFed because you were giving her everything she needed without anything in return. Women want what they can't have, you were no challenge nor were you a prize. You were a nice guy on the side who was WAITING for her. Attention is the male reinforcer the same way secks is the female reinforcer. In a relationship lopsided in the girl's favor, take attention away.

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My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com

Thanks guys for all your advice you have all put me back where I need to be. Ive always survived with girls by being an asshole. Am I waiting for her, fuck no, I screwed another 2 girls this weekend to bring me back where I needed to be.

I am the alpha of her group, and im now going to place her exactly where she need to be. I liked this girl for a relationship but christ have I sunk low for this to happen. She has been calling me lately and trying to keep me in the loop. haha. Now she is trying to devalue me. I have had enough of it, im going to make sure that she knows my value, she knows i rule the group of best friend girls she has and that im not going to take her crap and put myself alpha again.

Today i told her to call me at 5pm to discuss some meal she wants to organise with this group. She didnt call to try and devalue me. When she spoke to me on facebook 2 hours later I froze her.

Her: Did you manage to play and april fools pranks on anyone ( she know i like to play pranks a lot).
me: not yet
me: gotta run
me: speak later
Her: ok hun ( she had even stopped calling me hun, again to devalue me)

My next steps to get this girl in bed and maybe if she really comes after me hard I might consider her for a relationship. here is my plan.

Act cold, she needs me to organise the meal as I normally organise all events of the group. and the girls in the group, some have boyfriends that value me highly, and will only join if I organise... she knows this. So im going to use this to my advantage.

Once she does, and she will try and organise it without me, i will click maybe to the event... I decide things last minute.. she has to get used to it.

Step 2:

We meet up as a group sometimes, she has enjoyed the benefit of going out with me and hence being protected from the teasing and the badgering of others who dont like her that much. Now I need to hit high with value, I will try and push her to do things for me and request my attention, I will be giving it to the other girls, this should get her going as she really likes my attention.

Step 3:

Teasing her to make her ask me for a date, to which I will decline and reschedule to another date. In that night I will neg her, tease her and bring her bitch shield down. Once we get to my house, I will tell her to sleep over. If she refuses I will tell her im really tired and need to get some sleep hence why i told her to stay... she will probably leave im not sure, she quite bossy and does what she wants type of girl.

If she accepts to sleep over I will try and sleep with her, she will refuse. I will freeze her from all attention that she been craving for a while now. Ill grab a book and start reading it.

If she request my attention again, I will go straight in with clear intentions and this time probably nail her.

From then on I will keep this up for all I can, and let her win over the attention this time rather then give it to her, this will in time create high attraction and love.. and hopefully allow the relationship to blossom whilst I retain control.


Guys your input please

Hit the nail on the head!! Nice post dude

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