Okay, so i met this girl about a month ago at a bar with friends. She is a friend of a friend. Any way she came up to myself and my friends and we hit it off really well, as the night was closing her sister comes up to me and says "do you like her? well she has a boyfriend!" Before closing this girl I ask her to see if it is true and tell her, her sister told me. She tells me its just a guy she has been seeing and its not official, at this point i told her i didn't care because I really didn't, I had three other girls I was talking to already. I sent her a little joke text to keep the attraction building and it worked like a charm we spend a lot of the rest of the night texting each other. Next day, we met for lunch and hit it off real well, she is awesome to say in the least. Educated, funny, goal oriented, can cook, outgoing, gets my cheesy sense of humor and all that stuff and of course beautiful even without make up. I felt like something was wrong, so i asked again about the boyfriend thing and why her sister would say that, she confesses that she has had this boyfriend for over 6 months, but is only with him because her sister keeps pushing for her to stay with this guy. At this point i figure fuck it! maybe i can get a lay out of it? So, I have been seeing this girl for about a month and yes we have had sex. I thing is, she and I are getting closer and closer every time see her talk to her or text. I feel like this is different, I mean we have spoken every day for the month, but feel like we have known each other for much longer, we connect. Any way, so this past weekend was her boyfriends birthday, she spent Friday and I think Saturday. On Sunday she called me to hang out because she said she missed me. I spent the weekend with another girl I have been talking to, so I didn't really have and reason to be jealous, but I was a little, I don't think I should have to let them go because she still has not let her boyfriend go. I spent the night at her house, but no sex until the next day after her room mate left. It started slow and passionate then moved into some rougher stuff. I guess I got a little too rough on her because she bled a little and had to go to the bathroom to clean up. When she came out of the bathroom, her demeanor was different, like she was upset at me! We went to sleep for a little because she said she was exhausted, when we woke up she was still the same. Something was wrong! I asked her if she was okay, she said she was! I went home and later that night she text me that "we need to talk"....i call her and she tells me that she likes me and i have all of these qualities in a man that she likes and blah blah blah. She says that after the whole bleeding thing, that she looked at her self in the mirror and said that she cant live her life this way, that its not right that she is doing this to me because she i don't deserve to be treated this way because she has a boyfriend and all and that, she needs to break it off with him before anything can continue between us. Then she tells me that she is really confused though, because though she likes me, she is conflicted between if she does break up with her man, does she want to jump into another relationship or stay single for a while? I tell her that I am not looking to rush things and as far as I am concerned, i want to take it one day at a time and just see where it goes from there. I tell her that if all she wanted was a partner to keep her "company" that she needs to be direct and I will put us in that place and not be concerned with progression in this relationship or if she just wants me to step down and let her see if things go well with her dude, we can just be friends. I mean I still have other girls to keep me busy if that is the case, but the thing is I would let them all go for this her. Its been a day since this conversation occurred i have not spoken with her to give her time and space to think about what she wants to do.

Should i let her go? should i fight for her? am i wrong? if i should try for her, how should i go about it? or should i just see about trying to make this a booty call? Help! Help! Help!

Eli G

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Eli G

Leave her in the booty call category, and treat her as such. I think though you will find, this will only increase her attraction for you!

If it doesn't, so what! then she will decide if she wants to stay with the other dude.

Either way, you win!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

I've noticed that girl will be into a guy soooooo much who's NOT into them at first and then when the guy develops feelings for her she'll be like oh am confused. Happened to me, happened to you, happened to soooooooooo many other guys. Girls just hate to be lonely in general and if they see a guy with qualitites that their bf don't have then they'll come for you for a period of time then disappear!!!!

You did the right thing by letting it go for now, just leave it and NOT think about it. Hang out with your other girls because that will take your mind of her, you have developed strong feelings for her and i can tell that by what you said about you're ready to drop all the other girls for her!! It's not a bad thing, because she led you on, but in my opinion it was waaay too soon. We can't help how we feel but we can control how we show it and your task is to drop all contact with her in every single way. If she wants you and misses you then she will call you but you have to tell her this ''i don't wana be your second option, if you're serious about me then tell you gotta finish it off with your bf and then we can talk about US. In the meantime figure out what you want''

And leave it at that. I know it sucks man because i been then but i've just refocused my energy into something else

thanks to both Heywood and Costa, this has never happened to me before. I mean I have never been the other dude, so I'm new to all this. I think I'm going to just leave it be and see if she calls me, if not fuck it. If she does and is still with her dude I'm going to just see about throwing her in the rotation. What would be be my best option for going about that? considering she has her dude and all.

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Eli G

Obviously as you said the best thing to do will be cutting off all contacts with her and i mean everything, that includes fb comments and so on. At some point, she will text you. Could be today, tomorrow, a week, a month, a year or even longer! Girls don't forget those they slept with.
As for what to do if she'd texted you and she's till with her boyfriend, you just gotta make it clear that you're not interested in keeping her company behind her bf, if she wants you then he has to be her past. Don't worry about the consequences because at the end of the day you have NOTHING to lose!