yeah I wouldn't rule out anything at this point. Annoying part is if she is doing that and continues to ask me to meet up, it's pretty freakin sinister. I wouldn't put it past her because I don't think anything surprises me anymore but yeah I'd say at the end of the day, it didn't happen by accident. I let things slide into the total AFC status and never did anything to reverse course of that damage. I mean we can say what we want about the chicks but I just want to take ownership for my mistakes and try to correct my own behavior going forward, with her or any girl.

That's a really good way to look at things! I would think like that too and it certainly helped me in my next relationships. I try to learn something new each time. Attracting girls has always come very naturally to me but maintaining a relationship was always a nightmare when I was younger. Wasn't until I found PUA that I realised that I was a total AFC in the relationship stages. I was too needy. The last few years have been a revelation to me.

So what do you think I should do with this situation gtdave. It's only been a couple of days since we spoke but do you think freeze out and wait for her to reply and just try to get my head over her in the meantime?

Oh and if she's asking to meet then constantly flaking then I've an idea for you. You guys have been dating long enough for you to do this...

Next time she flakes or next time you know where she will be at or free just text her saying your going to pop round for 10 mins. Don't say why just keep it vague! Plus your not asking for her permission your going to call down anyway.

An example of the time would be at her flat/house just before her bed time.

If she really kicks up a fuss then say your only 2 mins away and you'll talk to her then...be alpha. If she really really kicks up a fuss and gets angry then I'd start to get worried! If your bf & gf then she should have no problem in setting aside a few mins before bed!!

I think this is the way I'd do it! You remain in control plus you'll find out very quickly where you stand! If she refuses to see you and you've made the effort to call round then I'd never contact her again!

Ps only do this once

Personally I wouldn't freeze out any longer as it sounds like you two are stuck in some form of freeze out loop! It's probably time to be a bit proactive as it sounds like you want closure at the very least and a chance to make amends and get things back on track at the very most!

Think I'd be a bit weary to try that right now because it feels a bit pushy (stalkerish?). Esp if she has been seeing some dude on the side, I think me showing up at her work or home would be quite a shocker for her.

On the matter of closure, yes I would love the agony of uncertainty to end but do I want her to just put me out of my misery or do I want to get the relationship back to the healthy state it was before this 4-6 weeks of AFC disaster. Maybe it can never get there because I have lost too much value in her eyes. But why she keeps asking me to meet up instead of what most girls do when they want a guy to go away is beyond me. As I say, I'm of two mindsets. One is she is truly fucking around with me now almost like a toy. The other is she wants to get back to where we were but I am acting so weak and accomodating she is not super compelled. We have had a closure talk in the past where I thought she would admit she's not into it, but instead she always said, I do want to make this work but we got serious too fast and let's just date and get to know eachother more. I tried a freeze out before but truth be told i was the one that broke it 4 days later so I wouldn't say I've really given her any real signs I have had enough I guess.

When was the last time you two actually met?

What some women in my life have said is that I have to give her the opportunity to miss me and risk losing me. Only two ways to do that, one is to give her the impression i am seeing other chicks to make her jealous - of course have to do that without directly saying it to her. The other is to just keep this freeze on until she reaches out and when she wants to meet, then say i'm too busy and only meet her after one or two times of flaking myself.

Though all this stuff just feels really childish. Am so freakin sick of playing these games.

After so many years of dating I have to say, I really suck at relationship game, esp when I am genuinely into a girl.

Last time we met up was last saturday (not this past one but the one before). But were talking all last week and even talking of going away for the weekend soon, until she did that no show on friday of course.

Oh one more thing. I did not see that she was close to the finish line in her med training. Be prepared for her to dump you soon after she finishes her education. Not that she will but It would be the time where she will say ok finished that and now I am ready for the real world with a fresh start. Just a heads up. Happened to my sister and I called it 6 months before her guy graduated and after he did they were done in like a week.

_________________
Why guys and girls don't mesh.

"Chicks are crazy and guys are dumb." Chinopants.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=en ... a_Nno&NR=1

Yeah good point Chinopants. I can see it going that way if I continue down this weak beta course. At this point I don't think we'll last that long because it's coming to a head soon from what I can see. But yeah I think the mindset that says let her ride out these busy three months and things will be good after that is deadly dangerous and a complete waste of time.

As all my AFC behavior sinks in I really feel like a freakin idiot. Can't believe after so many years of dating I couldn't see the bad behavior coming on and control it. Her reactions were normal from what I can tell.

Just not sure if I'm at the point of no return. A friend of mine tonight suggested I just talk to her like nothing is happening and then when or if she suggests meeting up, then just say I am too busy. The freeze out waiting for her to initiate won't win me any respect relative to a non-challant funny text.

I'm so looking forward to retiring from this game-playing.

I don't think you hit the point of no return. You should be glad you are self aware now so you will only improve from here on end. I've seen a lot of times where hot girls get back with their loser ex bfs after they beg for the girl. If bitches are able to accept extreme AFC behaviour then you should be able to get away with the AFC hiccup you had.

The best way to get power back ideally is to see her more often, that way you can have a great time with her, act like nothing she says or does gets to you and be a little a loof. Now if you can only see her every once in a while, it's best not to start drama or negative emotions. Just have a great time with her and be alpha. Also make her orgasm a lot by the end of the night. Leave on a good note and don't call her until she calls you or at least wait a few days.

If you both have facebook, go to parties with your friends and some hot girls, take pics showing that you're enjoying your life and having fun with others. This will demonstrate that you're not needy, high value and that you can have a good time without her while she stays home studying like a little bitch lol. Also, since she is so busy, she will envy your fun lifestyle and want to be part of that happiness w2ith you once again.

Don't forget, you are the alpha, you can get any girl and if she wants to miss out after you show her a good time and act all cool and calm then it's her loss and she will feel it. She will wonder what changed in you and she will shit test you to see if it's an act or not. PASS that shit!

Thanks a lot for your advice Sly_Wolf.

That was my intention as well for the last month. I was just being laid back and letting her ask me out, and she would. We'd talk a bit by text or phone and then she'd say let's do something this weekend if you're free. Now I realize I should've said I'm pretty busy and see if I can fit you in etc but I agreed to meet her on friday and then she ends up stuck at work, was really tired from working/studying all day and suggests we just meet a drink later. I should've acted like it didn't matter but unfortunately it got to me so I did say I wasn't happy that she didn't let me know earlier. She apologized, said it was all her fault etc. We briefly joked around with eachother by text on saturday. And that was the last contact. Now it's wednesday. Do I stay in freeze mode or do I act like nothing is happening and just send a random funny text. I just don't know what the right thing to do this time is. She didn't show regard for me on friday and she didn't make it up to me since either. Again, if she was a normal random chick I would say she's fucking me over and I'm done. But as someone who knows a lot of medical students, first year lawyers, and investment bankers, they go through their crazy 100+ hour stretches, so assuming she's banging some dude right now or trying to give me a message that she's lost interest is really hard to say. But yes, I also don't want to delude myself either. I've become the comfortable backup to her busy life, and there's nothing attractive about that.

I can see other chicks for now and socialize to get my head back to normal, but trying to see her more without initiating or seeing her when she has time both are tough calls because I look too accommodating in each case which hurts my cause. If i stay in freeze mode and she doesn't contact me this week or even next it's obviously a pretty clear message to me and it's just whether I should wait it out to do that or act like all is normal and just keep having some form of very casual contact with her. like i was thinking of sending telling her..."went to the most amazing restaurant last night"...she'll say, 'Oh yeah, what restaurant?"...i reply back, 'you'll have to wait and see" or "can't tell you". Just to get that female curiosity back up. Does that sound like a reasonable approach or something like it?

Am sticking with no contact for now...Annoying part is she probably thinks everything is fine and is just doing her work. I'm going away for the long weekend with some friends anyways on friday and now it's just whether I should say something before the weekend or not. I think wishing her a good easter is totally AFC (neither of us are religious or have any connection to that holiday).

The other part of this point of no return is if i don't release this anger of how I'm being taken for granted somewhere i will probably bring it up again in the future to disappate its affect on me. This is the other problem in relationships. We hold these things inside and try to act all cool but sooner or later they come out and then future arguments are being created by old resentments of previous arguments.