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Dude, this entire argument has fallacy after fallacy. Robert J Sternberg is not a writer he's a very well knowl psychologist, this theory is very well-respected and can be heard at Yale University. I gave you Psychological evidence that empirically shows what real love constitutes as (with respect to relationships). Dude, your view of love can really change the way you see things, If love is just a subjective occurrence that takes place in our brain than that view is morally inept - because it effects so many other aspects of life.
Secondly when I said, "Looks" I just used it as an example. Needless to say if you take 1 out of the 3 factors ffor sternbergs theory your left with anything but love. It must have all three. Dude, I'm not trying to come off as rude or bash you, I'm a nice guy, I care about people. It pains me to see individuals make such egregious choices. Lastly look at Albert Camus book, the stranger. This book is written by an Atheist/Absurdist: here he demonstrates the consequences of such beliefs. In the book the main characters girlfriend asks him, "Do you love me?" and his response quite odd. He sort of remains apathetic towards her (Robert Solomon pointed that out)
Now I'm not saying those are your feelings towards your Gf, but philosophically speaking if your Gf asked you that, you might as well respond the same way. Dude, I wish you the best, and I hope you clear your mind bro. If you would like to talk more just pm me! God bless you!
First thing. I live according to very simple rules. Simple life = Happy life. The relevant rule now is as follows: I accept everyone's believes as a truth, in return I expect the same.
This is an easy one to figure out. I'm an atheist by the way. But, I can not know for sure whether there is a God or not. Neither can anyone living on this planet. In conclusion, the fair thing to do is for everyone to believe whatever he wants to.
This has little relation to this love topic. I know that you're not trying to bash me, you're just trying to help. If my girlfriend asked me that question, I'd hug her tight and say "I love you sweetheart."
Now I'm also not trying to bash you, or especially not some famous psychologist's theory. But it is very hard for me to accept anything as an absolute, unquestionable truth, without a concrete proof. Especially, when my point of view and experiences are kind of the opposite. I've seen and lived relationships working completely obliterating those 3 factors, and I've seen and also lived ones that weren't working despite all of them being present.
What does this mean? I've indirectly already said, but now I repeat because I think I wasn't clear last time.
I don't think that solely love is what makes a relationship work.
Also, I don't think that those 3 factors all have to match 100%. I think the argument of commitment doesn't break with things like this. It would break if I or she had a lover. Because what I'm preparing to share with another woman is only sex, nothing else, while a lover is really more intimate, and shows that something is messed up in the relationship, because one person needs CONSEQUENTLY a third person BECAUSE he/she is NOT SATISFIED with the relationship. None of these apply to this situation.
I know the Christian believes about not having sex out of love. And as I've said, I respect that. But I don't live according to that. I've read and know the Bible quite well. I don't like rejecting things I haven't tasted. But if we continue arguing about this it would kind of be a never ending story. I'm trying to emphasize this :
I still don't want to convince you, I just want you to understand me.
Because I pretty much understand you, and I respect the way you live. I wish you goods!
CHAT
