hei
hei 4 month have passed and did go everyweekend to a nightclub at friday and saturday but after i got this huge rejektion wich i descrived in my other thread i did not open any sets i only said hello or hi to the some womans when they were moving to the toiilet or while they walked i guess i can only do that because i know extatly there will be no conversertion because she will continue walking

Last Saturday when i was at the bar even when i said nothing a woman gave me alot of IOIs she touched her hair alot of times and even looked at me and smiled once but i did't do anything(it was so obvoius the pretty much invitet me to approach her with this IoIs i was just standing right next to her and i was thinking"OMG open wtf ur doing why u dont approach cmon just say hi how are ua open with the 2 girls figthing outside opener do something cmon" i could not even say how are u ..... i feel pretty embrassed specialy when the hot woman walked away and i saw another guy from distance approach her in 2 minuts later they ended on the dance floor dancing together and i was standing again alone on the bar like an idiot when i saw other guys with womans i was so fu cking invious i was allways thinking in my head " u fu cking asshole wtf what u got better then me? haha i know it sounds creppy xd

i ended that night drinking lot of drinks because i was really frustratet then some friend came to the club and we talked a bit but at the end i was so drunk that i almsot could'et walk so decided to go home btw even when i am verry drunk i still have that damn approach anxiety it dosent give me enough courage the weird think is when im drunk i have the balls to talk to strange guys ( mans i dont know) but i cannot talk to a girl that i dont know like the girl could do me something and the mans cant i arrived at a point where im actually thinking to get a party drug
like extasy / cocain to get over my damn approach axiety i know it sounds verry sick but i dont wanna waste more time watching other guys kissing and laughing with girls hug her and im standing alone in a corner and thinking how stupid i am?.
i really want a girlfriend verry bad not to scamm her and only use her for sex i would love to have a relationship

has anyone here made good expirience? with a drug for overcome approach axiety or in generall being better with girls ? some of my friends took drugs like cocaine they discrive that they have alot of confedence while the effect stays....

that sounds really interesting to be honest

any advice??
sry for my english i know its not so good but im trying to give my best =)
greeting from switzerland

This is where you are being a pussy. There is just no excuse for behaviour like this.
This is where he isn't.

DO NOT START DOING HARDER DRUGS TO QUITE BEING A PUSSY!!!

I would recommend a blowout mission. Just go out and try to get blown out by every HB you see for a while until you get accustomed to chatting at strangers. On top of that, you will quite caring about any rejections. Women are fucking friendly. Saying hi to HBs on the way to the restroom is not opening. Your answer is definitely not cocaine. You are putting way to much unnecessary pressure on yourself. Just remember that guy next time you are stuck alone staring in fear at some HB. Now go caveman and phaseshift into "that guy" you wish you were. Go in, balls to the wall, and just say hi. Introduce yourself and shake her hand. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Think of it this way, 90% of it is showing up and just talking. Just by being in club you are 80% of the way home. Now quite being a bitch who wonders what every other guy has, cause you know what they have. Its called a personality that they are willing to share with the world and not sit by wanting and wishing.

I'm not trying to beat up you, but for fucks sakes, get it together.

thanks for your honest answer

marijuana + caffeine or just a couple shots and youll be good. trust

_________________
i can't wait to get laid

Different strokes... Do whatg you feel you need to.

For me - I don't like being buzzed or stoned (I don't do anything else) when I run game. I like my mind totally clear. My wit is keener, my sense of reading her is sharper and I close better.

I'll smoke out at my place with her later... but when I'm really running game - I'm sober.

_________________
Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

I dont think hard drugs or even weed helps at all. I smoke sometimes with my college buddies and when I do I don't even feel like talking to any women I don't already know because my eyes are bloodshot and I know I look stoned.

Alcohol is a little different, having enough until you're barely tipsy pretty much kills every ounce of AA I have, AND I can still function properly. I actually have some good results when I'm a little drunk because A) I don't give a shit and B) I'm a fun person when I'm drinking.

Thing I don't like is in the end it's just liquid courage, so what happens when I'm not intoxicated and there's a 10 in front of me? I'd rather squash that fear sober.

I used to take amphetamines when I went out and it was awesome, my approach fear was completely gone. I could get numbers all night long but then, when the drugs wore off, I would bottle it talking to these women who had given me their numbers because my charisma will not be the same as it was when they met me.

Respect to the poster of the comment above mine.

confidance is something you build.
Not something that drugs can give you.

With drugs you are still old yourself, just less scared.

And girls can see trought that.

Hey, the thing is: nothing will kill your AA if u don't believe it will and anything will kill your AA if u DO believe it will...

Let's take me for an example: when i have a bad stroke of AA or am feeling down or anything i do somthing Mime players do. i move my hand over my face (not touching) and turn my down, nervous face into a fun/game is on face.

this works for me because I BELIEVE it works for me.

Hey mate, we really REALLY need to talk it seems...
Someone very close to me abused drugs heavily for most of his life and payed dearly for it. I thank God every day that he made it out alive but he very nearly didnt and he suffers from it until today.

That being said, I understand your desperation, so I'm going to take the time to get you through this mate, and I promise I'll be available to help you out for as long as you would need it to clear your head.

"hei 4 month have passed and did go everyweekend to a nightclub at friday and saturday but after i got this huge rejektion wich i descrived in my other thread i did not open any sets i only said hello or hi to the some womans when they were moving to the toiilet or while they walked i guess i can only do that because i know extatly there will be no conversertion because she will continue walking"

So you got a bad rejection... it happens man. If you're on this board posting, you must be alive somehow am I right?

"Last Saturday when i was at the bar even when i said nothing a woman gave me alot of IOIs she touched her hair alot of times and even looked at me and smiled once but i did't do anything(it was so obvoius the pretty much invitet me to approach her with this IoIs i was just standing right next to her and i was thinking"OMG open wtf ur doing why u dont approach cmon just say hi how are ua open with the 2 girls figthing outside opener do something cmon" i could not even say how are u ..... i feel pretty embrassed specialy when the hot woman walked away and i saw another guy from distance approach her in 2 minuts later they ended on the dance floor dancing together and i was standing again alone on the bar like an idiot when i saw other guys with womans i was so fu cking invious i was allways thinking in my head " u fu cking asshole wtf what u got better then me? haha i know it sounds creppy xd "

If a girl is giving you IOIs you must be fairly decent looking and not as hopeless as you make yourself out to be... Dude... GO FOR IT. Do you think the great men of history, Julius Cesar, Alexander the Great and others would be afraid of a 110 pound girl? Shame on you!

Your negative thoughts are not hurting him, they are only hurting you. You need to let go of unnecessary negativity and embrace love. The question you asked isnt wrong, your intention is wrong. When I see a girl with a certain guy, I ask myself what he has that I dont, but simply to show myself that I have no excuse. I respect him, because if he had the balls to get her, he must have done something right, and talent should be respected, but why fear him? As I said, he has nothing that I or you dont have. Dont let your ego cloud your judgement. As Tyler Durden (the real one, from fight club) once said: "You are NOT a special little snow flake". You're a man. Grab your balls and GO talk to that girl!

"i ended that night drinking lot of drinks because i was really frustratet then some friend came to the club and we talked a bit but at the end i was so drunk that i almsot could'et walk so decided to go home btw even when i am verry drunk i still have that damn approach anxiety it dosent give me enough courage the weird think is when im drunk i have the balls to talk to strange guys ( mans i dont know) but i cannot talk to a girl that i dont know like the girl could do me something and the mans cant i arrived at a point where im actually thinking to get a party drug
like extasy / cocain to get over my damn approach axiety i know it sounds verry sick but i dont wanna waste more time watching other guys kissing and laughing with girls hug her and im standing alone in a corner and thinking how stupid i am?.
i really want a girlfriend verry bad not to scamm her and only use her for sex i would love to have a relationship"

There, my friend, is the root of all your problems. With that one sentence I understand exactly who you are. More on that in a little bit.

"has anyone here made good expirience? with a drug for overcome approach axiety or in generall being better with girls ? some of my friends took drugs like cocaine they discrive that they have alot of confedence while the effect stays....
that sounds really interesting to be honest "

Your friends are fucking idiots and detrimental to your growth as a person. Ditch them now before they poison you.

Your problem is one I have encountered countless times before, although I havn't seen anyone who thought of drugs to fix it, but I guess the more I do this the more I'll encounter strange things. Here goes man...

You need to re-evaluate your entire life mate. The reason you want a girl, the reason you are angry at others, the reason you are thinking of drugs, is simply because you have a hole in your being. You have no identity and are constantly at the mercy of others.

"Those who are motivated only by desire for the fruits of action are miserable, for they are constantly anxious about the results of what they do. When consciousness is unified, however, all vain anxiety is left behind. When you keep thinking about sense objects, attachment comes. Attachment breeds desire, the lust of possession that burns to anger. Anger clouds judgement and you can longer learn from past mistakes. Use all your power to free the senses from attachment and aversion alike, and live in the full wisdom of the self" - Bhagavad Gita

Read that over and over until it sinks in. Am I telling you to abandon pickup in search of a spiritual life? Not at all... What Im saying is that you are too deeply attached to outcome. You need to take a step back and free yourself.

Most people don't get good in this community because they are taking the wrong steps. The problem with the community is it teaches men to band-aid their problems instead of dealing with them. You have a deep hole in your being that you are attempting to fill with a girlfriend... But you never took the time to sit down and figure out what it is your life would look like. You are grasping at vague ideas that others TOLD you will make your life better, but I promise you - they wont.

You need to understand that the world you think you live in is an illusion, and it is more subservient to your will (and your emotions, but more on this later) than you would expect it to be.

"When the senses contact sense objects, a person experiences cold or heat, pleasure or pain. These experiences are fleeting, they come and they go. Bear them patiently. Assert your strength and realize this; the impermanent has no reality. Reality lies in the eternal. Realize that which pervades the universe and is indestructible; no power can affect this unchanging, imperishable reality. The body is mortal, but that which dwells within it is immortal and immeasurable." - Bhagavad Gita

What does all this mean on a practical level? It means that the pain and suffering you are feeling now is only a product of your mind. It is only temporary, and what is temporary is not real. Think about it... when you wake up in the morning after you went out; you are lying in your bed and just opened your eyes. Can you still feel that crippling fear you felt the night before? Can you pinpoint on your body exactly where it was coming from last night? Didnt think so. If it is only temporary, you can get through it, and trust me, you will live. Reality only lies in the eternal. What does that mean? Some call it a soul, some call it the self, personal energy, regardless...it is real, it exists, and it is your deepest, innermost person. Your body will die but you who are lives on. What is there to fear?

"One who shirks away from action does not attain freedom; no one can gain perfection by abstaining from work. Indeed, there is no one who rests for even an instant. All creatures are driven to action by their own nature. Even to maintain your body, you are obliged to act" - Bhagavad Gita

Lets talk about identity. Who are you? What defines you? You are not the contents of your wallet, nor are you the clothes you wear. You are not a student, or lawyer, or a doctor... that is your occupation, not your identity. Are you comfortable with your desires? What are your desires? Do you truly love women? Or are they a trophy for you to possess like a fat kid hoarding chocolate bars? Are your desires aligned with your purpose? You need to think about all of these things.

and finally
"They live in freedom who have gone beyond the dualities of life. Competing with no one, they are like in success and failure and content with whatever comes to them. They are free, without selfish attachments; their minds are fixed in knowledge. They perform all work in the spirit of service." - Bhagavad Gita

How can all this spiritual mumbo jumbo be put into practice?

first of all, you need to define your identity. How do you do that?
You need to find a passion in life. I dont care if its a martial art, cooking, dancing, or even fishing... as long as you have one, you now have something to live for.
You then need to decide what kind of a man you want to be. Are you a lover or a provider? In other words, are you a man who TRULY loves women? Or are you a man who wants one girl and settle down. (watch Crazy Stupid Love to see the contrast between the two and then decide which one you want to be)

Next, take out a sheet of paper or open a word document. In it, you need to divide your life into 3 aspects: Health, wealth, and relationships. In health, write down all your fitness goals. Decide to eat better, drink less, or work out more. In wealth, visualize your life in 10 years. What kind of a life do you want to live? What do you look like? what kind of car do you drive? what kind of house do you live in? What are the steps you could take to accomplish those goals? write all that down... you just made yourself your first 10 year plan. Now in relationships, write down the kind of relationships you have and want to have with people. Get rid of your negative friends that drag you down and cloud your development. Build a new social circle with high value people that are positive and have a drive for success! Look at your relationship with your family. Are there things you could improve? As simple as calling your mom to say you love her a little more often than you do is a hell of a step in the right direction. Now picture the type of girl you want to have in your life. What is she like? Write down her qualities. Next (and this is the part most people skip) write down the kind of behaviours you are willing and not willing to accept from her. I usually have 3 strikes or one big one. I dont care how hot she is, her number is deleted and she is no longer a part of my life. No arguments, no discussion and no explanation.

Once you solidify your reality, you no longer are dependant on other people's expectations. You know you are the shit because you just know, it doesnt matter how many rejections you get - a true player is not in love with reactions, THE TRUE PLAYER IS IN LOVE WITH HIS LOVE OF WOMEN.

The next and most important exercise is to accept that the ONLY person you have control over is yourself. There is a HUGE degree of freedom that comes with that realization because you no longer are depending on her reaction to you. You now approach women because you genuinely love women and want to spread that love, regardless of her. This brings up the question: What is rejection? Does it even exist when you are expecting nothing from her? Where you find her beautiful and you want to tell her because you are a man who appreciates beauty? What is she going to do... slap you? Get real... she put on her makeup and that sexy dress because she WANTS men to notice. She wants a REAL man to notice tho.

You need to make the decision RIGHT now to live life to the fullest. To eliminate your negative thoughts and focus ONLY on the positive. One of our coaches here at CMP (and happens to be one of my best friends) embodied this concept perfectly; Yesterday, we were talking and he cut me off, pointed to a girl leaning against a wall and screamed "YOU... are Awesome! Have a great day" she giggled and I continued the conversation. Why is this important? Because we FIRMLY believe in spreading love, because it brings back love! We dont want a thank you, we dont want anything in return, we just want the girl to feel good... maybe she was having a bad day? It should be the same when you approach a girl... you dont care about a thank you, or a phone number... you think shes beautiful, GO AND TELL HER THAT. If she happens to be cool, figure out if shes the type of girl you want in your life (see the exercise you did above... that took care of the qualification phase for you) and take her phone number if you want to see her again.

Your thought process should look something like this: as you get out of bed, start appreciating things. Learn to turn off the stupid negative voice in your head and focus only on love. "Omg what a beautiful day. I love my life, I love my city" start walking to work/school/wtv... "What a gorgeous street. God I love this place. I love my friends, I love my family, I love women! I love how cute they are" *your mind is interrupted by a hot girl walking by, the ONLY thing that should be going in your mind is: Do I want her? Yes? GO* And then you open your mouth "You look absolutely stunning! Who are you?" with a big genuine smile and a relaxed look. Its stupid how simple it is... Your'e riding that natural high of life, going about expressing your love for everything. Its beautiful and its contagious.

Love and lots of it
TheMack

_________________
DUDE! Take my free ebook... It's FREE --> http://centeredmanproject.com/

Big props for writing your response, The_Mack. I hope OP reads it and considers everything you said.

thank you verry much for ur post i will try to do what u said u pretty much opend my eyes with this post i will not try any drug for overcome my fear i will try it again to go to nightclubs in the next weeks or motnh this time insteat with a free mind not drunk at all and i will try to have a clear mindset and if i get rejektet again i dont care there is allways another day =) greeting from switzerland and thank you verry much again for ur long post

Keep in touch with me, I want to know about your progress and how you are doing. As I said, if you need anything more dont hesitate to PM me.

Btw, are you a German speaking swiss or a French-speaking swiss?
TheMack

_________________
DUDE! Take my free ebook... It's FREE --> http://centeredmanproject.com/

if you mess with that stuff it will help temporarily but the come down from the harder stuff is so not worth it. If you really need to take the edge of have a few beers or a couple of shots so you can get a few results. Then when you wake up the next day game sober and think about your results last night, and tell yourself you know you can do it.

It's quite worrying to hear that. The object here is to get your life under control, and any kind of substance can take that control away from you. I wouldn't say you should never touch any drug, but YOU always need to be in control.