ok i am new to this forum..i hope i could find some answers regarding the situation i am facing.
I saw this girl for the first time in a training program . i didn't even notice her but she asked about me couple of time from a friend of mine. Few days later she started sitting next to me and asked for my number. i gave her and we started flirting right away. i just took it normally. I then found out she had a boyfriend from more then 6 yrs but i acted as if i dont care about that and continued with text flirting and some unintentional hand touchin she enjoyed every bit..and there was surely a connection between both of us. Later as she got comfortable around me we end up helding hands. But she felt a bit guilty after that as she has a boyfriend. i was so confused at that time.
Later on she used to go to office with me and we discussed about the hand thing as i asked for the clarification she cried but things were normal between us and all the flirting started again.I found that her bf was away from town one night and she really got excited when we came back from office. she began to play with my hairs,play footsie and started with unintentional touching and all again.I thought she was ready to kiss with her expressions and everything.i kissed her on lips and then went on to neck . she enjoyed it for sometime but started to cry (this happened in my car). i guess out of guilt. i got a bit worried thinking as if i didnt do anything forcefully and i told this to her roomate. next day we went together to office so she was normal.we didnt had any talk that day until during office off time and she was again very excited to be with me. she again tried to held my hand and we eventually ended up doing so but nothing else happened.she again texted me that she was in relationship and she dont want any of this but after a couple of hours i went to have dinner at her place with two other friends.we all slept in the same room and we kissed 2-3 time very passionately without anyone knowing.we played with each others hands and kind of made out again. next morning she was all so guilty but wanted me over for lunch as i went we again went on flirtin and holdig hands and some kino on thighs .she looked as if she wanted everything.

later that night she discussed the car incident with her rommate(who happend to be my friend as well) and she later found out that i had discussed the kissing thing with her roomate already (when she really shows others that her relationship with his bf is really good) and she got really pissed at me foe telling this.she asked me not to talk to her again..i apologised a few times but no luck. then i tried to apologize again a month later but made her madder she made a complain to my boss as my apology created a bit of a scene in office..i told about the kissin thing to other friends who in turn made her realise that it was her mistake and she shouldnt have made a complaint.partially it was both of us who made mistakes.now m really angry and sad at same time. what should i do as i want to show her that she overreacted .. but i think i still have something for her and want things normal as friends if not more..because once i get to talk to her again then only i could apply all the stuff discussed here...help

your post says it all, when you have opportunities like these and you are interested just close, she seems like she is up for it judging by your posts, you just have to take responsibility so if she gets caught she can rationalize to herself and to her boyfriend that it wasn't her fault, you just came onto her and she didn't know what to do, it just happened etc., you have the take responsibility for her, if she blocks with the boyfriend, just say ok, and continue, when she actually says no stop or don't, that is when you stop, if you don't care she has a boyfriend and she is letting you escalate, then you might as well escalate until she gives you a real rejection

the more plausible deniability you have the better, just don't be surprised if she crys after sex or during lmr

I didn't read your post. If a girl has a boyfriend, I usually just drop it. For example I asked out a girl last week, she had a boyfriend, I said "that's cool, I know him. he's a cool guy, he deserves you."

Girls will respect you more if you don't try and win them over, especially if they have a boyfriend.

lvl80retpaladin : ya ok but the problem now is she isnt talking to me. maybe because of the guilt or because she is still mad that i told my friends for whatever happened as she dint want anyone to know. I am confused.

pumpington : its not that i want her to break her up . i respect her relationship . its because she initiated all the stuff that i went so far . if she felt guilty afer first incident why would she let me do all this. Read the post once . If u could help

re-read my post, she most likely wants to cheat with you (or wanted to), but she doesn't want to take responsibility for it, she wants it to be your fault, you have to handle her asd or you will blow it for yourself

-remain discreet (don't tell people about it, she won't cheat if she knows she will get caught)
-don't judge her for it, or express that you like she doesn't cheat, or that it is really cool to be faithful etc., just stay open and non-judgemental about it

she initiates this sort of stuff to show you she is interested, it is the equivilent of a girl telling you to sleep with her in girl language, she will just assume you get it, and get frustrated when you don't take the hint and take the responsibility for making it happen, she will likely resist and try to put up false barriers along the way, so at the end of it all when she feels guilty she can say... NO IT WAS HIS FAULT, HE CAME ONTO ME, I TOLD HIM I HAD A BOYFRIEND BUT HE DIDN'T LISTEN, HE JUST KISSED ME AND I TOLD HIM WE SHOULDN'T, BUT HE DIDN'T LISTEN, ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER AND IT JUST HAPPEND.. IM SORRY BLAH BLAH BOYFRIEND

she needs plausible deniability so she can justify her actions to herself and maintain the idea that she is a good little pure as white snow girl, if you don't want to sleep with her when she has a boyfriend then don't, that is your choice, but just know chances are things are not going to go as smooth as eggs for you, you are more likely to sleep with her while she is in a relationship then to break it up, and getting her to sleep with you after she is aware that you know she has a boyfriend, your only hope is to take responsibility, or just be her friend

choice is really yours what you do, but most likely you can't have your cake and eat it too, but you can sure try to have the damn cake and eat it too, if you want to take that route, really in the end you have to make your own descisions and be damn sure of them and confident in yourself and what you want

Ok I got what u r saying even i thought she was doing the same. I want to get things normal as a friend so I just want to know what to do as she no longer wants to talk to me. This has happened before that we stopped talkin fully but then she was the who initiated the converstation again.Moreover, she some times used to give me justifications about she talking to other guys because i told her not to talk to one of the guys, why would she give me explanations m not his bf..
the sex thing is off the table i dont even want that(not from her i mean)..i just want a normal friendship

Please read my post to know. she was the one initiating all such acts

I just read all the abbreviations asd and all..was not aware and all these things make sense to me now as to what she was doing..she isnt talking to me probably because of this asd thing only...is there any way to regain her trust..any suggestions..

just give her space, let it blow over a bit, let her contact you, or contact her after a bit of time has passed (a good week or so) so she misses you a bit and is happy you texted/called

Ok its been over a month now..and i havent had any contact..should i contact her or wait?

I have read through your post and found it really similar to a situation i have been in myself lately. Have a look at the topic, maybe it helps you as well:

uncomfortable-situation-with-a-nice-gir ... 31193.html

Hey thanks a lot similar situation. She no longer wants to talk to me due to trust issues as mentioned above. I explained to her about whatever i did and apologized but ain't happenin..would you suggest something to get her trust and maybe just try my luck to be her friend again.?...suggest

if you want to contact her, yes contact her, you don't have to wait a month just because a girl doesn't answer one text message, all you want to do is recognize when you are starting to be needy and cut yourself off for a week or two to stop obsessing, use that time in your life to find something else to think about or do, other women seems to be the most effective option,

she either answers or she doesn't, you shouldn't be too concerned which it is, but you should figure out why you want to contact her and have a reason in mind when you do contact her and get to the reason

yes i do want to contact her. but could you please tell about how to proceed..as to should i make small talks first and come to the point. could please just frame something.i just want that she trust me again

that may or may not be possible, you can't control people around you and what they do, how ever you can control yourself and what you do,

why do you want to contact her? when you have figured that out for yourself, contact her and let her know why

she either answers or she doesn't, but you want to contact her, so you might as well contact her