I have been gaming my favorite waitress at my regular bar for two months now. And I've become really close. We hang out outside the bar a lot, she came home with me last night after her shift. All around she and I mesh like no one I've met. She gets me and I get her. We both have admitted being really into each other. But here is my issue. I put her in friend zone since she is my waitress every weekend at the bar I take girls home at. And she is bi and has a girlfriend who she loves and doesn't want to leave. So being that we're really close, that she is like chilling with an awesome guy friend who happens to be a super model hot, lesbian. And how there is a lot of pent up sexual tension.but at the same time we talk about chicks, sex, ext. all the time

How can I get over my hardcore crush and still be a good friend? Because I'm chomping at the bit to kino escalate her ever moment I'm with her. I could honestly get her to cheat. But that wouldn't be good in the long run since I genuinely care about her and love her friendship.

Lol if you want to get over her quit fantasizing about her. The only time I've obsessed over a girl like that was when I wanted to sleep with her. You say you pull other girls so think of them in that light and start looking at her as one of the guys. If you have to literally think of her as a guy. It sounds like you guys are cool, so you could use her as a wing.

That's easier said then done. I guess it's not just about the sex because honestly I get that plenty of other places. But when I'm around this chick I get all butterfly tummied and want to make her mine. It's a constant mental struggle to keep from screwing shit up. And it's not always been this way. Before I really got to know her she was just another pretty face with a perfect body. But the level of attraction has exploded now that I know how awesome she is. And what really sucks is she is my smoking buddy and bud is like truth serum to me so I end up spilling my guts to her. This is why I know we both are into each other. I straight up told her the other night I had a mad crush on her and that if she ended up staying with me in my bed that I'd probably jump her bones. And then she replied in the worst way, saying she really likes me and wishes things were different so she could rape me back...

I'm normally a douche when it comes to girls. I play them against each other, use them and once the fun is over I next them like they mean nothing. Because honestly they mean nothing to me. That's I guess part of my sex appeal. I just want to keep that monster away from this girl! And after a month of holding back, it's not getting easier it's getting harder. A lot harder!

Dude if I were you I'd get to know her girlfriend really well and hope for the best with those two.

Yeah we've actually talked about it (like I said we're really open sexually with each other). But the problem is she told me if she and I got physical it would probably bother her to see me with other girls. And like I said. The bar where she works is my favorite sarging ground. So she sees me with women all the time. She actually wings for me a lot. Since she is almost always the hottest girl in the club it's also a huge benefit that she is always coming up to me hugging on me, kissing my cheek, dancing with me, talking, ext. And we leave together a lot so the weird thing with the guys at the bar has happened because she doesn't ever leave with anyone so they think I'm Superman for it. The hole situation is just fucked and bliss... together.

Her girlfriend also lives about 45min away and in her words is kinda "lame" meaning she doesn't get out much. So I've yet to meet her. I always try to get Lauren to bring her out but it hasn't happened yet. That's actually why she was going to start staying with me after work because her and her girlfriends house is so far away. But like I said, I got bud brains and told her if she stayed any longer I'd have her doing bedroom acrobatics.

Here is the point in all the rambling. I'm falling for a girl who I know I could have... but if I do take things past friends I'll loose her eventually and I'll have to stop being a player. It's driving me bonkers!

I know you're in a difficult situation, but the way you describe it, it seems like it's not going to work either way, and that you actualy know that. The question is then, to my opinion, how you are going to deal with that.

How far did you actualy go? Did you guys kiss yet? Or is it just talk and saying you're into each other?

_________________
You WANT to make a change.
You CAN make a change.
You WILL make a change.

Ambitious to be succesfull => Shyler

I say it wont work because it will never work long term with any girl, ever. I may get three happy years with her but one day it would end.

No I've not tried to kiss her. She kisses my cheeks a lot but nothing past that. Its just talk and body language. There is a clear sexual vibe between us that almost makes it awkward to be alone with her privately. Because as I undress her with my eyes it's clear she is ripping my clothes off with her eyes too. She always is biting her lip and looking at me all puppy dog like.

You might still go for it. Tell her she makes you horny, tell her you do your best not to fuck her, but that it's getting harder. Touch her and escalate. Kiss her. Or ask (or demand) of her only this one night so you 2 can move on, it might feel liberating. If she refuses, say her that it's maybe better to not see each other for a while. This girl will only fuck you up if nothing happen in this situation.
You can also try to get her in a threesome with her girlfriend, although it might be a challenge. As you are both attracted to each other you may maybe discuss with her about it.
Anyway, I don't say that this is the best solution but as you are realy in love with her I can sense that you don't want to leave her without having kissed her or without having sex with her. If you just can't leave her, at least try anything then.

I don't know if it's that difficult for you to find an other sarging bar. Even if you guys don't get intimate (like she told), she will feel hurted if she sees you with other women.

But yeah in the end, all things will come to an end. And if it's after 3 years, 2 months or a life long, it will end eventually, so you shouldn't walk away because of that you never know what might actualy going to happen. Three years is actualy a good period for a relationship. You don't have to marry her anyways.

_________________
You WANT to make a change.
You CAN make a change.
You WILL make a change.

Ambitious to be succesfull => Shyler

So you think the only way to get past it is to break boundaries and fuck her?

I think that would make it worse... I'd be like the man eating bear who tasted mans blood for the first time.

I just want to be friends with her... and we're really good friends. We're texting about my sandy vagaygay and how I need a short string for my tampon tonight because I'm breaking out the mini skirt for them phat bichiz... that's the kinda friendship I've got with this girl. I feel so natural with her. And if I fuck her that will be gone.

Oh my god shut the hell up.

What do you want from her, to fuck her or not? If so, fuck her, if not, move on. If you wanna fuck her, but for whatever reason won't let yourself, see option B again.

You can't get over a crush by hanging around her all the time. So no, you can't get over her and still be bestest friendzies.

_________________
These hos ain't loyal

He's right.

You have a crush on this girl. I know it's difficult to think rationaly, leave her and to move on. But you made this thread "how to get over her?" and now your actualy saying you want to be her friendzoned BFF (best friend forever)? What you realy want is her to be all yours. You want to kiss her. You want to tell her how beautifull she is. You want to tell her how smart and awesome she is. You want to tell her how sexy she is and how horny she makes you feel. You want to kiss her tender lips. You want to fuck the shit out of her. You want her to fall asleep on your shoulder. In the end, you don't want to be this (friendzoned) guy with whom she has dirty talk for fun but with whom she doesn't get intimate. And that's also not what you want. You want more.
Don't let yourself get mind fucked by this girl. Don't let her play with your head.

So what do you want. Do you want to be a man? Do you want to fuck her, or do you want her to play with you?

_________________
You WANT to make a change.
You CAN make a change.
You WILL make a change.

Ambitious to be succesfull => Shyler

No that's not what I want. I fuck hot girls all the time. I want the lust to go away so that I can be just friends without the my penis jumping at her like some kind of exercism. I put her in friend zone... that's why I made her leave my house, she was going stay the night with me. I could have easily made her my sex puppet that night. And she made that clear to me.

I just want the feelings to go away. Yes I have sexual desire for her. Sure under different circumstances I'd be the cream to her twinky. But I value her to much to fuck it up with my whorism.

I guess realistically there is no cure to my ailment.

A little update to this. I still want this girl to no end. I've been hanging out with her a lot. Still haven't made any advancements and try to say stuff to keep her knowing we're in the friend zone.

Well yesterday she came over for a little bit and we got to hang out. My roommate was there so we didn't get any alone time. But she told me she was quitting the bar and that her and her girlfriend were broken up at the moment. We were both high so I really didn't want to push the topic in fear I'd say something I'd regret. But to my roommate who was sober, she was supposedly throwing me hints that something more between us could happen.

Honestly I'm still scared to move forward. I mean everything that was stopping me before is now a non issue. But I really really love this girls friendship and don't want that tarnished. I also can feel the sexual tension between us every time we're together, it would be nice to end that.

Idk, we're supposed to hang out before the weekend and then next week we're going to north little rock (hour and a half away) to an indoor climbing gym so I'll have some alone time with her then. I may just ask her what she really wants from "us".