Letting her have control?



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PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 8:20 pm 
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Before I start, something you'll need to understand is I live in a foreign country and I don't speak the local language so I am in a relatively small English speaking community where everybody knows each other. So basically when you go out sarging, unless you find a tourist you'll be hitting on somebody you already know (friends or acquaintance) or know of or no doubt you're best friend will know them.

So was out last night leaving a bar I had pre drinks in before clubbing. Bumped into 2 girls I both went to school with a few years ago, hadn't seen them since summer. 1 was a 7 (and one a the other was a 8 or 9.

Anyway they tried to get me and my other 2 mates to come with them. The hotter of the 2 girls has very rich parents, multi-millionaires, and they asked us to come get free drinks with them and chill at their mansion for an hour before clubbing.

Fucking epic offer. But I was absolutely starving, hadn't eaten all day so declined and went for food and walked off with my friends. They followed us saying we can have food at theirs but I was still declining. Reason why was the hotter one was very touchy and flirty but these weren't IOIs, I've known her for years and know what she's like. Very hot, uses flirting and her looks to get things..oh and a lot of guys bend over backwards for her. So I wanted to be a bit different, say no and that I'll meet them in the club later. My thought was that if she wonders why I didn't follow her lead she might be more attracted. Thoughts on this? Although TBH there were convincing me to go with them until:

The less hotter one said to her friend "he doesn't have his car". I thought to myself lolwut and then it was a definite no and I'll see them later. But the hotter girl either didn't hear or didn't care but was still trying to convince me but she was laying out a flat plan and literally said the words "im in control here" or "i make the plan" something like that.

I hate it when a girl takes control, especially since this girl always invites people for free drinks, chill at their house and is very used to guys following her lead.

--

The big question is: should I have gone along with them? There were definitely no IOIs and I had a feeling they wanted something from me in return. No idea what. Or do you think it's always best to be the leader of the group, don't let a girl take control?

So, why did I tell you I'm party of a small community? Well I wanted to stress the point that if it was any random girl I've never met I would have gone along as that's obvious IOI, but I couldn't see it here. Although these girls are known to show guys a good time.

Never did meet them in the club in the end, came over feeling very sick so I went home before I got to the club so I never know if I made a right choice.

What I'm trying to find out here is if it's ok to let a girl take control of the group. I never liked not being in control and I wonder if it's something I should change when the situation warrants it.

Long one I know, thanks.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 8:42 pm 
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I hope your not into sales.

Also, posts like this are supposed to be posted in the question-section of this forum.

But listen,

She's laying out a plan, no harm in that. Throw in a line like 'but i'm very uncomfortable at your place, you'll have to make me feel at home' if she asks what it would take, mention blowjobs or a lapdance. or both, depending on how frantic you're feeling.

Or anything else you'd like her to participate in.

Give & Take.


You don't really have to wonder what your mistake was.
Let's face it. You taking "control"=sitting at home all night.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 10:28 pm 
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All of your questions, wonders, worries and paranoia could have been cleared out if you just had gone with them.

Do you think this hot girl will remember you as "the guy who rejected her offer to come back to her place for drinks?" and be super-attracted to you because of that?

Hell no, in fact, she might remember you as the boring guy if anything else.

My brain doesn't compute the reason why you rejected them.

And besides the ability to have all your questions answered if you just explored them - you could have gotten laid too.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 2:19 am 
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Quote:
My brain doesn't compute the reason why you rejected them.
Purely because I was too suspicious of them. You know when PUAs try to tell newbies that if you're really kind to a girl, needy etc it makes her suspicious of your intentions. It was exactly like that.

OR:

Up until the end of the summer last year, I was an AFC, follower and someone who was used by some people. I could just be paranoid about falling back into that hence why I didn't like her to lay out the plan.

One of those, maybe a bit of both.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 2:33 am 
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This shit really isn't that complicated. If girl invites you out, and you are into the girl, go.

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These hos ain't loyal


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 11:14 am 
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Well I wasn't really into her just highly suspicious.

But you're right, I overcomplicated everything.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 11:24 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
My brain doesn't compute the reason why you rejected them.
Purely because I was too suspicious of them. You know when PUAs try to tell newbies that if you're really kind to a girl, needy etc it makes her suspicious of your intentions. It was exactly like that.

OR:

Up until the end of the summer last year, I was an AFC, follower and someone who was used by some people. I could just be paranoid about falling back into that hence why I didn't like her to lay out the plan.

One of those, maybe a bit of both.
Are you sure it wasn't your paranoia messing with your head?


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 11:39 am 
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Might well have been. I was so suspicious they wanted something from me, one of my insecurities is being used. Makes sense.

Something to work on. Thanks for highlighting the paranoia.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 6:23 pm 
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She's touchy and flirty by nature? Good. Hey, guess what! She's not totally repulsed by you hence you had a chance.

You gave up free food and the possibility of sticking your dick in some hot young, rich cooze if you played your cards right.

Instead you acted like little bitch refusing to cooperate, going off with your friends to get something to eat like a dainty little girl.

Anyone else see anything wrong with this picture?


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