It's not hardwired, it's a conditioned response that you do every time you think about approaching. It's just habit, man.

Now that you've identified one of the sources of your issues, you can take action to move forward. One thing I'd recommend doing is daily meditation to master your mind. Also a bunch of reframing.

Don't forget that people tend to behave in alignment with other people's expectations. You tell a kid that he's smart and he'll grow up to be a studious scholar. You tell a kid that he's a dumb failure and he'll grow up without meeting his full potential.

If you genuinely expect women to respond positively to your approaches, you'll get more positive responses. To change your genuine expectations, we have to start at your core belief system. List 10 reasons why a woman would be lucky to be with you. Don't put bullshit reasons that you know don't count and let this list grow over time.