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So Zip is an asshole and deleted my post. She asked me to re-write it here. Normally, I don't like to repeat myself, but I think this is important, so here goes. A paraphrase.
Regarding Elevators.
What was previously posted was utter bullshit. People in elevators are bored. The reason I keep to myself when I'm sitting in a crowded public place isn't because I'm afraid someone is going to enter into my Intimate Space, it's because I'm afraid of doing that to someone else. I'm bored silly. I want someone entertaining and wonderful to start a conversation with me, just so I can stop staring at my shoes.
I assume that, because I feel this way in a crowded public space, so do other people. Thus far I've been proven right, because people in elevators and buses and trains and in line for Burger King all open up very readily. They want someone to open them, if just to break the tedium.
Never assume that someone in X situation doesn't want to be opened. It's dangerous and it limits your options. People want to be opened all the time. They will never be weirded out if you're interesting.
The self-limiting beliefs that get paraded around here as truth... Jebus...
Don't want to step on Zip's toes here, but I'm going to respond to the bolded words since it's something I brought up.
These people have done studies as well as many other known psychologists. This isn't shit that is made up. They even go on to mention in that chapter why bigger cities tend to have higher crime rates is because of "spacing" issues, and how a gathering mob tends to get aggressive fast because people's attitudes change when others are in their personal space. People do act funny when their spaces are invaded, and even become aggitated and annoyed, putting them on the defensive mode. Does that mean everybody is going to act that way? Probably not, but a huge majority will react in some way. (consciously or subconciously)
Besides, if you are referring to what I said, I never said once NOT to open somebody on an elevator. I merely pointed out why people are so quite on elevators, even with people they know. It's logical and it's something that needs to be thought about when approaching. Nothing was ever said about people don't want to be approached in a elevator. I think people read more into what was said than what was implied.
Also, spacing and our reactions are legit. We want our personal space. Take this for example, you go into a crowded theater, you see one row where only 1 person is sitting (another guy), chances are extremely high that you'll seat exactly in the middle from that person and the end of the row. Why? Personal spacing! We all do it. I do, and chances are the huge majority of people will as well.
You have just been educated on spacing. Read the book, learn a lifetime worth of information.
CHAT
