Some back story, I'm 27, never had a girlfriend and never had sex. I've been overweight my entire life and I have allowed it to control my mind, with social anxiety, low self esteem, etc. At the beginning of the year, I got hit up by a pretty hot girl on a dating website who was moving down to my city with work. We texted and talked on the phone for a couple months until she finally moved down here in March.

We met the first week she was in town and really hit it off. We have a ton in common, we make each other laugh, etc, it's going great. After we meet, it's damn near a miracle to get her to reply to a text, let alone answer a call from me. Although full disclosure, she still usually would text me once a day at least with something like "Good morning hun", but would rarely, if ever reply to a text after that.

Well, a few days after we meet, she calls me on Saturday night. I was spending another boring saturday at home and had passed out, missed the call. I call her back an hour later when I wake up and see the missed call and she wants me to pick her up from a bar she was at with some coworkers who had transferred into town as well. I go pick her up, because shit, I've never even had a girl, let alone had a really hot, really cool girl interested so it's hard to play the game at this point and not be eager. When I pick her up, she tells me she wishes I would have been there, because it would have been way more fun. I tell her to invite me next time and I'll be there, she says she texted me earlier and proceeds to show me a text that never went out apparently. She then tells me she thought I didn't like her after the first meeting, because I never tried to text or call her, confusing me even more. I had called and texted SEVERAL times. I think shes lying to cover up her unresponsiveness.

Well things go really well that night and before I leave she hugs me twice, which I'm pretty sure was a sign to kiss her, but my inexperience and nerves got the best of me that night. As I'm leaving, she says we should meet up again tomorrow before she leaves for her hometown for a week. The next day comes, I call and text a couple times, she never responds. The next day she sends a text saying Hey sorry I didnt get a chance to get back to you", I respond, she doesnt reply. A couple days pass and I text her asking if she wants to go out on st patricks day and she said yes.

I show up to take her out on st patricks day, and she is dressed insanely hot, with a green corset top and tight jeans on. We go to a packed bar, but end up just sitting outside talking all night. She says a lot of things like she cant believe the odds of meeting someone who has so much in common, stuff in that vein. A lot of encouraging stuff, in my mind. After about 3 hours at the bar, she wants to go back to her apartment and watch a movie. We get to her place and chill for a while, but again, my lack of experience is crippling me here because I just dont know all the signs or have the guts to act on my instincts at this point. Anyway, I end up leaving, she gives me two hugs again, I choke, again. BUT, again, she wants to hang out the next day.

Same story. No call, no show, but she texts me that night and says she had the worst day ever, etc. We text a little bit throughout the week, I ask her out for the weekend and she says she will TRY. I dont hear from her all weekend, but then Sunday she sends me good morning, I text her back and she responds, finally! We text for a while and I ask her when are we gonna chill again? She asks what Im doing that day, I say nothing, invite her over and she comes over a couple hours later. She shows up wearing daisy dukes and these sexy platform type shoes that make her taller than me. She looks amazing. Things are going good, but then my roommate shows up with some friends and my house is packed, she decides to bounce and we agree to hang out this saturday at her new place she is getting by herself. She texts me last night saying the apartment wont be ready for 7 days. I text back telling her that we could still hang out and do something else, but I get no response. I text her this morning that I would still like to hang out this weekend, but no response. Now at some point this weekend, we will probably hang out, but it wont be a set time, it will just happen out of the blue more than likely.

By the way, the night I went out with her on st patricks day, her girlfriend was at the bar that night and ended up hanging with us for a little while, they went to the bathroom at one point and when her friend eventually left, she told me that her friend approved of me. This seemed an obvious sign of interest to me, but it could be a typical tactic in leading someone on.

Also, the day she was at my house, she was showing me older pictures of herself and seemed very insecure about my comments on them. Again, this seemed like an obvious sign of interest, because while hot, she is down to earth and doesnt seem vain at all.

Now to the main question, is she playing games trying to bait me in? Or is she just not that interested and using me for company when she is really bored? I need some fresh opinions on this, I have burned up the ear of everyone I know and I just cant get the insight I need. Sorry if this post was long, but I felt like I needed to give all the information to get a good opinion from others on this...

She is waiting for YOU to take the lead sexually, she keeps giving you the signals, but by your own admission, you lock up!

I know this is going to be hard, but you are going to have to take control very soon, or you will be in the "Friend Zone", or she will just be GONE!

Next time your together, don't wait til your leaving to get the "hug", just at a random moment! THEN touch her face/hair, if she looks up and/or does not move away, KISS HER! you may never get another chance! keep that in your mind!

Hope this helps Bro

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

there is only one way to find out, she will not escalate for you, and it will give you all the answers you seek, next time you are alone with her watching a movie, just try to kiss her

if you can't make it happen after a few trys then I would say she is using you

if your weight is a huge issue for you then get that problem handled before any others, because I'm sure you have noticed it makes a huge difference in your dating life

Yeah that's my fear, that she will just move on completely. I guess her lack of communication is just the most puzzling thing. When we chill, it seems like shes mine for the taking, but then when we arent together its like trying to climb mount everest to get her to commit to a meet up. Maybe shes just the kind of girl who doesnt like to be locked into a plan, maybe shes playing hard to get? Thats what has me confused at this point.

The reason she is not responding to your "advances" is your not really making any!
You are not responding to her "signals" when you are together, so she is even more reluctant to reply to yours when you are not!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Actually, the funny thing is that shes into bigger guys, but the boost in confidence I got from having a hot girl interested in me caused me to want to change some things about myself, which led me to lose 50 pounds so far since january. Now down to 255 and getting lower every week.

And another thing is that she likes to pay for things when we hang out. Not just hers though, she covered my dinner and said I could get the tab next time. I dunno, this girl is like a different person when we hang out and when we arent.

Congrats on losing the 50! way to go!

A lot of women are drawn to larger men, subconsciously, they are the sign of a good Provider/Protector, getting in shape while losing a little weight will only reinforce her mindset! So good job!

But in order for you get get further, you need to be that Big Leader, and take it to the next level.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Hey thanks for the words of encouragement, it has really helped, believe it or not. I definitely am going to view the next time we hang out as do or die. I either make my move and elevate the situation or shes probably going to start looking elsewhere. If I feel like everything is on the line, I will force myself to make a move. I'll have to.

Anyway, I unloaded my long story on you guys, so I will definitely post an update if there is one to be posted anytime soon.

Well my friend if you're not gona make the first move then she won't! She'd given you LOTS of hints but you haven't done much about them because you're too scared of what could happen or what couldn't. I know you might blame your inexperience for not handling things better but that's just an excuse, we were all virgins, we were born sexually active right? we were all inexperienced but we still made some mistakes and went for it and that's how we learn in this life, make mistake and learn from them

So what you need to do is just go for the kiss next time you see her, she's into you man, if she pulls away then let it happen and blame the alcohol, but that's highly unlikely. You've got nothing to lose but something to gain, so don't be nervous just go for it.

The other matter is being overweight? well you even said it yourself that it's an issue and it's annoying you right? then why haven't you done much about it then? what are you waiting for? you're not gona lose that weight by just chilling around and saying you're overweight. Hit the gym, start eating healthy and quit the junk food.

Good luck

If you don't escalate Kino further than hugs soon, you're gonna start being friend zoned.

It's the fact that she's only going to be used to the one level of Kino, and if you don't start to raise the bar a little, she's just going to become comfortable with only that level. When she's decided that she's comfortable where she is, you'll have a hell of a job getting her out of that comfort zone into a different zone, and as soon as she's in that comfort zone, you're in the friend zone.

Try flipping a few cool routines on her if you're not confident enough to go direct with it. Do some triangular gazing or something, when you have a moment alone. It's one way to get an awesome sexual tension.

Triangular Gazing (if you don't know):

Look at left eye
Look at right eye
Look at lips
Repeat until ready to lean in and seal the deal

Make sure that the movement between each part of the face is slow and smooth, if it's quick darting, it might look like you're scrutinising her face, which isn't really good at all. She might feel a little intimidated by it.

That's just my two cents.

So is the lack of responsiveness and lack of commitment for plans not something to be concerned with? Is that just all part of her game at this point? Her way of making me work hard to see her?

She seems to be fairly tolerant with you, but I would definitely up my game steadily if I were you. You don't want to do it too quickly, since you might scare her.

I'm about 10% sure that you've missed an opportunity here just due to a lack of experience. If you do start to escalate with her, and become someone that she views as "boyfriend material"

The lack of responsiveness is probably due to the fact that she doesn't like communicating via something like text or phonecall, so you just have to spend more face to face time with her. I would be slightly worried about being in the friend zone if I were you, but it seems as though you should be able to pull it back.

As said by Mystery - "Play the part,". If you play the part of her boyfriend, it should just naturally happen. I always preferred natural slow game compared to quick night planned game. Using cheap routines never was my thing. Just go with the flow, and be cool. Convey good body language all the time, and show her that you're a worthwhile investment, even moreso than before.

I think that you most likely have oneitis, and you should definitely make an effort to meet more girls. Hopper method, read up on it, it'll be good for you.

So any opinions on why 2 saturdays in a row she made plans to see me the following day and then totally cut off communication the next day? I take that as a blow off, like I was just the backup plan in case she wanted company, but it could also be a game, any opinions?

She's flaking, and you're allowing it...

Measure complaince quickly and re-assess.

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

At this point I'm just having trouble playing the game back. I try to ignore her texts when they do eventually come, but I always end up replying back and then getting no response and looking the fool like usual. I just don't know how to break the cycle because I view every text from her as a chance to try and hang out, so it's difficult to just ignore because I'm so eager to lose the v card and progress things with her.