So I was at this bar/nightclub the other night with some buddies. We're all on spring break so we got a little crazy but the HB to guy ratio was like 1-3 so it was really slim pickens.

Towards the end of the night after several shots and mixed drinks I saw these two HB8s dancing with each other. Like, literally grinding and groping each other. I was about to approach but my buddy bought another round of shots so I took one more.

I looked back around and these two girls now had about 5 AFCs just standing around them watching them dance. I laugh at the drooling chumps and push my way through.

Here's where I had either a terribly brilliant or downright stupid opener idea.

I walk up and immediately say "Damn, you girls are all over each other tonight, you guys wouldn't happen to be lesbians would you?"

They both laugh and one goes "Oh yeah, we're totally gay!" (sarcastically) as they start groping each other more and laughing.

Then she touches my chest and says "Why, are you gay?" haha that caught me off guard and I couldn't think of a cocky/funny response right away although it was begging for one. I failed the shit test by saying "Oh definitely not, I just saw this group of drooling dogs over here and wanted to see what all the fuss was about"

She laughed again and then noticed my idiot friends behind me watching me work and making stupid gestures at us (I need better wingmen...) so I turned around and mouthed "fuck you" to them. When I looked back at the set I noticed I was AMOG'd by 2 juice-heads who had just stepped behind the girls to dance.

I couldn't think too straight and really caught myself thinking sloppy after those couple shots so decided to abort before making an ass out of myself in public and said "I gotta get back to my buddies, I can see you guys are tied up at the moment if ya need a break, we got a table over there!"

Then we basically left the bar after having one more cigarette outside (where I ended up Facebook closing a girl last minute who turned out to be one of the bartender's ex-girlfriend and one-itis from a bar I worked in for a little bit)

Here's where I want some opinions, do you guys think that could have been a successful opener? I go to a lot of nightclubs and bars and see stuff like that go down all the time, I just usually don't get THAT drunk and think of some crazy off the wall openers like that.

Also, I was caught off guard when they turned it around on me, I should've been on my toes with something good but lost the moment. Where would you guys have taken that situation?

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Really? No One?

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