I don't see many cases like me here - I am the living reality of "Crazy stupid love" -- lost my wife's love by just forgetting to be a man. She has turned to others (several). We were about to divorce a year a go when she decided to "hang on" -- mainly because I make 300K plus and the guys she slept with are more around 50. I decided to go along for three reasons: a) our two wonderful sons who would be the big time losers, b) I thought it would cost me too much to divorce if she doesn't want to, c) she is still the one I would chose.

As to PUA: I never heard of that stuff before last year. I turned to it desperately looking for answers. Here is the funny thing: we went to marriage counselors and they were no help at all. Like they didn't get it. PUA books opened my eyes for what really went wrong in my life. Every single thing I was able to pick up has helped me. I even found out that if I want another woman, I can develop the skill to get her.

Yes, I went through excatly the same thing!
And let me tell you, gaming your wife, IS the same thing, as gameing ANY woman!
You are the MAN!

Any questions feel free to ask,

Heywood

Now I'm finding out t's easier for me to "open" another woman than to open the one I am really after... the one I am married to. So I'm a bit like "Cal" (though I'll admit I didn't sleep with 9 women in the meantime .

So if any pro PUA has advice how to pick up a woman you are married with for 16 years and go to bed with every night... bring it on!

Heywood,

thanks for offering help! I am definitely curious to hear of anyone with similar experience!

Classic.... ever heard of Eggerich?

There's a book called "Love and Respect" but Eggerich. It's a "how-to" book for marriage...

Sift through the crap in it to come accross the 'crazy cycle' and you'll find a gem of knowledge.

I will - even if I'm sick of marriage counseling stuff, I follow PUA advice!

I'd highly recommend it - if she's improving, you have hope. Until hope is gone - work it out brother!

I wish you all the best.

Rodeo.

Heywood, amazing you also arrived at the "don't need her that much anymore" stage. I couldn't believe myself when I got to that level that I honestly could say I am ready to move on. I think it's big part of winning her back, if that doesn't sound stupid.

Out of curiosity... how did you guys "stage" the separation? What I mean is - did you actually start dating other women while still in separation? Reason I ask is that I have a strong feeling that I am worth more if I am either married or cleanly separated. In other words, my wife may have cheated on me, but I am not going as low. I talk to women, I flirt, I experiment with the art - but that's it. It has a legal/financial aspect of course - she has fault and I have none so I get a discount - but at the same time a value asset.

Stupid easy - you're the man that takes responsibility and you didn't bad-talk your ex. You're a new and improved man - and she'll take notice.




But - do you want the marriage to work out? That's the real question...

a no fault state like MI
Great to hear from guys who made it!

I wouldn't have believed that until recently -- as many other divorced men I saw are a depressing heap of self pity that makes you congratulate their exes..

But - one thing my wife said when she refused to sign the divorce paperwork shows she knows these things happen - she said "I don't want another women to get what I didn't get".

Now, to the question if I truly want to make it work. Simple answer. If it works out, it's what I want. No pickup is worth more to me. On the other hand, if I catch her cheating again, get good proof and as my lawyer is confident even in a no fault state like MI this will twist the settlement in my favor -- I push through the divorce, as I am ready for that too. Millions of great women out there. Make sense?

Great to hear from guys who made it!