In August I got a full time job and started finishing my college part time. I didn't have time to maintain my social circle / keep up with fun things, and didn't really have time to maintain my relationship. I also didn't have time to keep up with fitness which I love and started to get pretty big. My girlfriend had more time now to build a new social circle as a full time college student with no job.

The stress from that, I believe, caused me to become insecure and go AFC hard on my girlfriend. We argued a lot between November and the end of January with fights that nearly always I started. At the end of January she told me that she wanted a break. Mad, I was like fine that works well, and that if she wanted a break I didn't want to talk to her at all.

I decided that I was going to turn my life around because I was single now. Started getting in the gym again (from beginning of feb to nowish i've lost 25lbs) and started rebuilding my once pretty massive social circle. Of course I then started to realize what I hadn't realized in the previous months: I was a complete ass to my ex for no reason.


cliffs of preface:
-gf of ~3years
-go insecure afc asshole on her for a few months
-she asks for break @end of jan
-i tell her f that, we're done (didn't know what else to say)
-rebuild my life, realize i was an ass


2 weeks ago I broke NC with her to tell her how sorry I was for a specific event where I was an extreme ass and how nobody should deserve what I did to her. I said I'd like to see her too, and she agreed but that she couldnt for a few days. I thought why 2 days?, said whatever and nothing ever came of it. 1 week ago I broke NC again to say i still wanted to see her and she said she did too but again not for a few days. This time I say okay. We meet on the grass by a river. We talk. She seems extremely impressed by the improvements ive made in my physique, personality, life. She cries several times throughout our 2 hour meeting. She buys me dinner at some point, as we are leaving she says something about how she normally would be saying she loved me when saying goodbye and that she still does. we go our separate ways.

We meet up again today for homework but we just end up talking for two hours, we talk a little more about our relationship, she cries a few times after different things we talk about (I would say stuff like I can't believe I did this or did that during the relationship and admitted that I really enjoyed our time apart because it allowed me to reflect, she would respond with something like that is all I ever wanted to hear and tear up) , i end up going in for a kiss and we make out and spent a lot of time very close and kissing. Towards the end of my time with her she said she loved me. I said, "thats a big statement" and she said "how could I not?" she also talks about how we should go slow, and I completely agree with her

cliffs of middle:
-break NC to tell girlfriend sorry
-meets up with me
-she says she misses me and acts EXTREMELY genuine
-by second meet up we end up kissing, she says she loves me


my questions:

If I had followed everyone who gave me advice, I would have never contacted her and I doubt she would have contacted me because as she said, she wanted a break and when I said I'd rather a breakup she didn't know what to do. was I wrong to contact her?

Also,
the relationship subforum (which i cant yet post in) is riddled with threads like these where guys afc themselves out of relationships, break NC, then get strung along. Is that what this is? Am I being strung along? Not really sure how to deal with someone who I think is the love of my life telling me she loves me and that I've accomplished everything +more that she wanted out of our break, and that she never wanted a breakUP.

If your intent is to rekindle your relationship, then you had no other option than to contact her. Not recommended by PUAs? Yes. Did it work anyway? Yes. Quit worrying about it and focus more on your next move.

Are you being strung along? From the sounds of your post, I'd say "no" but the possibly still exists. Should this minute possibility alter your game? No.

Approach this as a new set. Start from scratch. You're shooting yourself in the foot by bringing up the past in conversation. Stop bringing to light the shitty you, and instead demonstrate to her the new you. Be the kind of man she deserves and play the game.

the problem with many users in this forum in general is that they think pua can be applied like maths, that ist black and white...they forget that people differ, situations differ and short summarys cannot give full insight on what is going on on both sides of the equation. i think the right path is to know the general rules of action and reaction which can be learned with pua, but to apply them given the concrete situation you are in after discerining the vibe of the relationship correctly.

i also have had situations/relationships in which i would have been told the exact opposite of what i did (and eventually worked).