My roommate's cousin...



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 Post subject: My roommate's cousin...
PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 1:56 pm 
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Not sure how to go about this.

My roommate and I have been friends for 5 years now. He is one of my good friends. He has a good looking cousin, that I first met probably 4 years ago.

When we first met, we all went to a country concert together. She danced with me, but nothing more happened because she had a boyfriend at the time. Then I got a girlfriend, and she became single. Came to a party when I first started dating my girlfriend, and made my new girlfriend REALLY jealous because she was talking to me. Fast forward to now, I broke up with my ex of 3.5 years about a month ago, and she broke up with her boyfriend a week ago.

We all met up out at the bars for St. Patrick's Day, but unfortunately I got very drunk and it killed my game. Couple that with the fact that my confidence is still a little shot from the break-up, I just wasn't doing too well. She seemed pretty shy, and stuck to her friend most of the time. Although she did come to get food with my roommate and I, and while we were there we had some good conversation. She said she thought I had a girlfriend, and I told her we broke up. Then she started telling me about her going to school for her Master's degree, and she mentioned that she hasn't seen our current house yet. Drunk me didn't pick up on any of these at the time...

My roommate's phone was dieing, so he used my phone to text her after we got separated to meet back up. So I have her number, but I wouldn't say it is the best way to get it. So I will feel kind of awkward contacting her through that. Looking through the texts, she wanted to meet up again and asked where we were, but we had gone to another part of town because my roommate had to DJ.

How should I proceed with this? I don't want to disrespect my roommate, but he knows I'm a good guy and won't mess with her. We are both recently out of a relationship, which may or may not be a good thing. I really regret getting so drunk, and my body still hates me for it...

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 2:10 pm 
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if he's a friend of yours and not jealous and he knows you are the good guy you claim to be than you shouldn't feel bad about dating his cousin.

you can either try to arrange a group hang out with him and you where you can continue your solo conversions with her.
you can also make up some excuse to meet her up like a country concert (you can buy tickets and say you got one for free...)


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:39 pm 
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When it comes to family, you need clearcut verbal permission from your friend. Watch his body language, if he's not completely ok with it, then abort. Don't shit where you eat. Women come and go, but quality trustworthy guy friends are hard to find. If you get the green light from him, then invite her to join you in an awesome and creative day two. If you can't think of any way to initiate the conversation, then text her a funny picture of something random and funny (I frequently use one where a frog is riding a saddled squirrel, it's stupid but works). Approach her with it like you're going to go whether she joins you or not. This lightens pressure on her end to accept and will put you in state before the interaction even begins.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 4:21 pm 
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Thanks for the replies guys. I fully understand getting his "ok", I'm pretty sure he was ok with it the first time around so I guess we'll see how he feels about it now.

A couple days ago I texted her the ol', "Hey whose number is this?" and she replied with, "*roomate*'s cousin *name*". I just followed up with, "Ah, ok, wondering who I called Saturday". Didn't get a response, so I left it at that. Last night (well, this morning) at almost 1AM she texted me out of the blue with...

Her: Hey is this *my name*?
Me: Yeah what's up?
Her: Can you send me that video of me and *friend* on st pats
Me: Too big to send not sure if I can resize it
Her: Haha okay! I heard its funny
Me: I'm sure you'll get to see it sometime
Her: Hope so
Me: Come to *roommate*'s last dj night at *bar* tomorrow and you can see it
Her: I'm in NYC!
Me: Fly home
Her: Haha

I left it at that because I was very tired and didn't think the conversation would go anywhere. I'm probably over analyzing the conversation, but wouldn't she already know it was me since she told me she was my roommate's cousin before? The "hope so" part sounds promising, possibility she wants to hang out in the future. Should I have continued the conversation, asking why she was in NYC and such? Wondering why she would need the video at 1 in the morning, or if she just wanted an excuse to talk. I see potential here, I just have a problem of putting all my eggs in one basket too early. Going to a bachelor party and then the bar where my roommate DJ's tonight, should be a fun night. However, some of her family (cousins, uncles) will be there, so I don't know how I should act. I went to the casino with some of her uncles and my roommate last night, we had a good time and I think they liked me. Already meeting the family before even dating the girl haha.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 6:01 pm 
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I think your putting way too much effort into this. Be chill about it, and if it happens, it happens. Your thought process right now is gonna kill your game with her. Go sarge other girls meanwhile. You don't have to sleep with them, but at least go talk to them.

When I say this, of course you still want to game this girl and have the outcome turn in your favor. But don't sweat it.


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PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2012 2:14 pm 
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Gonna bump this post with a little update, this one was from a couple weeks ago:
Quote:
We (my roommate's and I) meet up with them and she is with about 7 other girls, all good looking. We use them to get past lines at the clubs since at least one of the girls knew someone bouncing that night. Throughout the night, I was my shy self but always had a smile on my face and had a good time dancing/hanging out. After the clubs close, we all go back to one of the girl's house because my roommate was going to hook up with her. The other roommate went home with his girlfriend, so it was just myself, my roommate, and 6 girls. Unfortunately, I did not take advantage of the situation. We all hung out for a bit, I got comfy on my couch and was exhausted (I hate going out on Friday nights, I'm always tired after a long week of work). Some of the girls went upstairs to go to sleep, including my roommate, while his cousin and some of her friends were hanging out downstairs. They kept singing, to which I kept making fun of them. In the end, I passed out on the couch. When I woke up, they were all sleeping on the other couches around the room (there was like 5 couches in one room, weird setup).

Looking back, there are sooo many things I should have done that I didn't do. And I'm not sure why I didn't do them, and I'm not sure what it will take to not repeat the same mistakes. Hopefully spending more time going out will help me get back into the swing of things, as when I was dating my ex we rarely went out. And when we did, I of course did not go out with the intent to pick up girls. And I'm thinking I blew it with my roommate's cousin, although her friends I might still have a chance with. Plus, I'm not sure how my roommate would feel about me hooking up with his cousin. He has always been weird about it when my other roommate would bring it up, but last night he drunkenly said, "I did this for you, you better not fuck it up." I don't want to ruin a friendship for some girl...

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PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2012 4:15 pm 
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And now onto this weekend...

Her birthday was Friday. Thursday night my roommate and I go out to meet up with her friends - she stayed in that night. Previously she had mentioned a wine tour for her birthday, which was going to take place the weekend of my birthday (upcoming weekend), so I invited myself along. She said she didn't know the details, but she would let me know. Her friend tells me they are postponing it until June because of schedule conflicts, so that night I talked with her friends and just hung out.

My roommate's other cousin (also a very good looking girl) is in town from Florida, so we all go out Friday night. I was exhausted, but toughed it out anyways. We start by going to this small concert at my old college, it sucked. We all go back to my house because my roommate forgot his wallet, so she gets to see our messy ass house. Then we head out to the bar for her birthday, she picks a bar I'm not too fond of but it wasn't my night. So we all go there and meet up with some of her friends, grab some drinks, talk a bit. My other roommate's girlfriend shows up with her friend, who is really into me but she isn't my type and not very attractive. I talk with her a bit, and then go back to my roommate and his cousins. My roommate says I should just bang her and get it over with, and his cousin (the one I want to hook up with) agreed with him and said I need to get the first one out of the way (since my breakup). I told them I wouldn't lower my standards, and his other cousin agreed with me. My roommate and I are getting tired and want to leave, so we leave a little early with the other cousin and she goes back to the bar with her friends.

Saturday, my roommate is DJing a sweet 16 for yet another cousin. I'm like part of the family, so I tag along as the "co-DJ" since I had nothing else to do. I'll call the cousin I want to hook up with cousin 1, and the one from Florida cousin 2. They both are there, since it is a family thing. Cousin 1's parents are there too, I had some conversations with them about random stuff. All-in-all I was pretty social, but didn't talk to cousin 1 very much. Most of the family leaves, cousin 1 and 2 stick around for a while as the 16-year olds are all dancing. We shoot the shit for a bit, and the cousin's leave to go get ready to go out. My roommate and I have to stay until the party ends, but we agree to meet up after we finish up.

So we finish up DJing and head back home to get ready to go out. Cousin's and her friends are taking too long to get ready, so my roommate and I head out to the bars. We meet up with this chick he met at a concert about a month ago, they've been talking since then. We finally head out to the club where his cousin's are, and meet them at the bar. Cousin 2 doesn't look too happy at the bar, and I greet them all. I see my ex's good friend next to cousin 2, she tries to talk to me but I keep it short and just say hi and walk away from her. Didn't want to talk with her at all... So my roommate, his girl and I are talking, and cousin 1 walks by me and says in my ear that they are going to dance. I just nod my head and keep talking, and then a few minutes later make my way over to the dance floor. They are all dancing in a circle, so I post up between cousin 1 and 2. We dance, I notice cousin 1 getting in front of my quite a bit. Unfortunately, 50 feet away my roommate and his girl are dancing. I'm still afraid to mess up a friendship for a girl, so I don't make any moves. The song "Somebody That I Used to Know" by Gotye comes on, and cousin 1 turns to me and said this is our song (she is recently out of a relationship as well) So we cheers with our beer bottles and sing the whole thing through, overall just having a good time.

I see cousin 2 is not enjoying herself, so I ask her if she wants to go the bar to get a drink with me. We end up going outside and she tells me she feels uncomfortable being from out of town and that she has a lot on her mind. She was drunk, so she was all emotional. We talk outside for about a half-hour, yes I was her emotional tampon. I tried to cheer her up and make her laugh, it sorta worked. My roommate had to go back to the other bar we were at because he forgot to close his tab. So cousin 2 and I decide to go get some food, but as we are walking out we see cousin 1 standing at the entrance. ANOTHER cousin (confused yet?) was in line waiting to get into the club, and cousin 1 was waiting there for her. At this point I tell her that cousin 2 isn't very happy, and that pretty much ended the night. We all stand outside, and I bring cousin 2 to get some food nearby. Come back to the group, my roommate is waiting in his truck across the street. Cousin 1 asks me where I'm going for the night, I said I'm probably going home with my roommate. She asks me the same thing a couple more times after this, and I guess I was too drunk to realize what was happening. So cousin 2 is in a better mood after getting food, and I tell them I am taking off. Cousin 1 tells me to text her when I get to my roommate's truck, and I tell her he is right across the street. She insists I text her to let her know, so I do and she responds with "Okay thanks!!". Yet another sign I didn't read into at the time...

So I'm pretty sure she is interested. However, the issue of it being my roommate's cousin is still there. I'm not really sure how to bring it up to him. Like I said, he knows I'm a good guy and I'm not out for revenge on women after my breakup. Cousin 2 even texted him later that night and said how good of a guy I am because I took care of her. What should my next move be, after I talk with my roommate and assuming he is ok with it? I was thinking of calling her this week and telling her I would be joining her and her friends this weekend because all mine will be busy (I have nothing to do Saturday night, and it is my birthday weekend). Would this be too much of a DLV?

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