| investment is not about really what you can get from her, but you request compliance, to test how much she is willing to give (to see how much she likes you, not really what you can get from her), when a person likes you, they want to give to you, when a person doesn't like you, they want nothing to do with you
it's not so much she wants what she has worked for, but rather she gives to what she likes, and the more she gives the more she feels attached to what she likes
and the interaction is a two way street, this is the road to a connection, two people giving to each other, the more you have to offer, the more she will like you and want to invest,
the more value in the product, the more the buyer wants to invest
investing your emotions, and doing things for someone builds a feeling of knowing someone, you have done things for them, told them your secrets, you have spent time with them, you start to feel they should value you for your investment, and you start to feel attached to that person (check oneitis posts to see the relation to this)
between two people there will always be one person more invested in an interaction, and chances are it is because they like the other person more, the person who cares the least has the most power, the power to walk away at any point, they are less needy, this sets a frame that they get what they want, because if they don't they can just walk away, this creates a fear of loss, when this non neediness is demonstrated and sparks anxiety, and a person has to choose, invest more, or possibly lose that which they value and have already invested in
compliance builds momentum, you start small when a person has not invested much in you, and gradually increase the investment, so if the person is to risk losing what they have invested in, it will cost them a bigger investment, (a girl will care more about a medium looking guy, who she slept with, and shared all her secrets with for the past month and is considering as boyfriend material, then some random hot guy, at a bar, just like if you have a bestfriend of 10 years, you would care more if that friend stopped talking to you, more then some guy you have been hanging out with for 2 weeks at work)
if you don't offer compliance, but recieve it, it just further sets a frame that you get what you want, you don't need witty lines to be non compliant, you can just say no, or make a trade, if you do something, you get something in return
frame control is more about who you are and holding true to that, with a strong sense of self, not bending your will to fit the will of others, knowing what you want, and how you aim to get it, with a certainty in yourself
once you are sure of what you want, you can control the frame by remaining congruent to your idea, you can see other perspectives from another frame, but you still have your own frame of mind to consider and express on the situation, the person who expresses their frame with the most certainty, will control the meaning of the interaction
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