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PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:41 pm 
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Hey Don, I met this girl at a party we got together and made out then passed out together, the next day I started to text her, she is extremly nice and seems to take intrest in what we are taking about. We started flirting then it changed to talking now it's just small talk, what would you recommend I start to talk about to keep the conversion going until I talk to her about getting together again.

Other details are she takes about an hour to 3 hours to text back and will randomly stop then pick back up the next morning

Also the conversion originally slowed down because we went from talking about me to me asking her to "tell me about yourself"

Thank you,
NG


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 21, 2012 2:46 am 
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Don I gotta thank you for the comment on only doing a text once a day with a goal in mind. These last 3 days both my girls have been very consistent in responding to me consistently, and not waiting all freaking day.

I make my plan, I have one goal, and usually by the time that goal is accomplished I have texted for a few hours. And I have been leaving on a good note. So far, the initial impact has been immediate.

1. One text
2. Have a goal of giving her some entertainment, rise, etc...
3. Leave on a good note, and don't wait for the conversation to go stale.


Thanks Don.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 21, 2012 7:17 pm 
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Hey Don , i cant link any links yet ( Need 5 posts ) but could you take a look at the thread i made in general? just click my name

I can copy paste it too but theres been some replys given wich i would like your tought on and status update. If you could comment me in general on the situation what to do and should i wait for 3-5 days like replyed?

Thanks !


Last edited by Gurren on Thu Mar 22, 2012 12:06 am, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Mar 21, 2012 11:29 pm 
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Quote:
Hey Don , i cant link any links yet ( Need 5 posts ) but could you take a look at the thread i made in general? Or just click my name

I can copy paste it too but theres been some answer giving and status update , if you could comment me on what to do i'd be very thankfull (Thread is called why is text game bad)
To get my 5 posts i can also ask a question , I always get the feeling if girls in general don't ask things back or ask things from my side in general that she's not interested in me. Im used to 50/50 i won't put more efford in you than you in me and that keeps me also down on the way that i wouldnt re initiate a conversation if she does not answer me wich i read here i should be doing.

Haha anyway another ask for advice for everyone , i can probably make up something myself but if anyone has a good or funny response im glad to hear it :)

She told me she does promotion work at salsa partys for congresses , and i playfully negged her with " Oh so your the one flyering at the exit? " She replyed with "Flyering at the exit? WHAT? Tssss i offer people free full pass it is totally different" ( A full pass is entrance for the whole weekend. these partys are 3 days with workshops) I think She's pretty popular figure in the scene so i guesse she just asks good dancers as promotion for the event. )

Anyway wich i replyed with " ..And , when am i going to get my Full pass ;)?" Wich she replyed on with " You must win the Full pass, i can't just give it away mister ;)"

Thinking of replying something like " Oeff , didnt know you wer holding the prizes here" or " Oef , i thought i made it clear last saturday im very ambitious in getting what i want" Or maybe a mix of both ?


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 12:27 pm 
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To answer your question Don, Me and this girl who I have been talking to recently have a very good connection and we have been speaking for a while now. Via text. Via SPAM. And via msn. We seem perfect for each other and just want to make each other so happy. We have organised to see each other in a week or so because we are still both at school. So it's important that we wait untill the holidays. I have noticed a few things about her though.
I have to take a train down to see her which will cost me around £25.
If she doesn't show up, then I have lost alot of money. Or if she is trying to lure me into a trap.
'Yeah. I love you for you, not anything else. :) '
' We will meet in the Easter holidays if you can get the train down? I really want to meet you too, you're just so perfect :) How tall are you :P ? '
' Ill be there, id never ditch anyone. '
I asked her why she doesnt always reply to my messages on msn straight away. She said:
' I think its because im doing alot of other things on my laptop, sorry, its easier to text though. Tell me if you want to go to bed, Ik u like ur sleep :) '
' Ill call you sometime. '
I said to her:
' Good luck with your german I know you struggle with it. That's why I should spank you ;). Im at a football match. It's halftime soon. 10 minuts. What do you think happens when we die? '
' I wish you were here to give me a hug :') and i have no idea :L im not religious so i dont believe in all of that, i dont think anyone knows.
' Its half time now. 2-0. If i was there we could do more than give Hugs. But i would hug you so tight and make you feel happy, im not religious either but I think when we die there is nothing more. We don't get another chance at life. So we should make the most of it while we are here. Does the thought of dieing scare you? :( '
' Im scared about people i love dying ut not myself really. That's good :). Are you having fun? '
'Toight has shown me ur a really decent, perfect guy & that i really want to meet :) lastn ight was hilarious and ive never laughed so much on SPAM :). And im sure your the right guy because i love you so much and ive never felt this strongly about anyone else like this before :) i just hope u feel the same, night x .'
I was speaking with her on msn last night and she wouldn't go into a SPAM call with me because she was skyping this other lad. I asked her about it via text.
' Put your phone on charge. I was really upset about you not wanting to SPAM me earlier. But i understand because you was skyping him. And hes been waiting :). I like our chats and i think you are the girl which i just want to make so happy and feel so fortunate to have me in your life. Are you sure you want me? :) '
She said..:
' Yea im sure. Sory but it seemed a bit selfish as ive never SPAM him before & he certainly helped with my confidence. I wudda SPAM u but mum wanted me off :/ '
I said:
' That's fine. I guess you had other things to do tonight. but at the time it seemed as if he was more important. Ill SPAM you another day. Maybe tomorrow or something. But i could imagie you just skyping him from now :P' Im glad he helped you with your confidence. I always told you. It was all confidence issues. How did he help you? :)
She said: ' He was just getting me to say words i couldnt say like juice or jelly & telling me how to say them. Even though he laughed and took the mick it was still fun :) '
I said:
'Sounds like you enjoyed yourself. I tried to make you more confident on SPAM. But I guess I didn't help you at all :(. You still act like hes a mate and nothing more. I want to take you away from the pain of your everyday life. Mymethos would work. In helping you get more confidence. But not via the internet. What makes me different than him? '
She said:
' Everything. You're two very different people with two diferent personalities that will never get on. You do have some similarties though and he is just a mate. '
I said:
' I meant why are your feelings different for us both. I did try to get on with him. But he doesn't take to kindly to my approach. I never thought I'd have anything in common with him. But I'm glad I do. You just need someone which understands you and cares for you. I'm going to take you away and cure every one of your pains and worries. You would always be my main responsibly. Why do you think I'd be an important guy in your life? '
She said:
'Obviously i feel stronger about you and love every aspect and quality of u :) Im going to sleep now so i will reply to any further texts in the morning, night x :
She means alot to me.. But I'm not sure where I stand with her right now.
I am very worried about this guys relationship with her. I could end up losing her all to him. But she reassures me " You wont lose me "
1: She never answers my texts in School.
2: She doesnt always do as I ask.
3: She texts other guys from the internet. Even though she says they are only "mates" and nothing more.

_________________
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:37 pm 
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Quote:
Hey Don, I met this girl at a party we got together and made out then passed out together, the next day I started to text her, she is extremly nice and seems to take intrest in what we are taking about. We started flirting then it changed to talking now it's just small talk, what would you recommend I start to talk about to keep the conversion going until I talk to her about getting together again.

Other details are she takes about an hour to 3 hours to text back and will randomly stop then pick back up the next morning

Also the conversion originally slowed down because we went from talking about me to me asking her to "tell me about yourself"

Thank you,
NG
See, you started off at a 'high point' and it takes real effort, real, concentrated, committed effort to carry on from there and to keep the level of interest constant, if not greater. Most people, including you, stumble. And that's why they fail.

If you've already reached a place where you've kissed her, you don't take two steps back and say "So.. tell me about yourself..", you go full on direct and say, "I couldn't sleep at all last night. That kiss was on my mind, the whole time. Was it on yours too?" or something like that and lead from there.

You've already climbed the steps up to that level, now you need to climb them further and go to a condition of 'full-close', as they like to call it here. Once you've slept with her, you'll get perspective and ample time to know all there is to know about her. Stop being her boyfriend and start being her lover. It might seem the same to you, with the new age definitions blurring the lines between them both, but it's very, very far apart in terms of words and actions.

Be direct, be bold and be straight to the point. Keep the situation wired sexually and try to maintain that tension till after you've done the deed. Also, the more sexually charged you will get her, the more quickly she will set up a 'date'.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:47 pm 
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Quote:
To get my 5 posts i can also ask a question , I always get the feeling if girls in general don't ask things back or ask things from my side in general that she's not interested in me. Im used to 50/50 i won't put more efford in you than you in me and that keeps me also down on the way that i wouldnt re initiate a conversation if she does not answer me wich i read here i should be doing.

Haha anyway another ask for advice for everyone , i can probably make up something myself but if anyone has a good or funny response im glad to hear it :)

She told me she does promotion work at salsa partys for congresses , and i playfully negged her with " Oh so your the one flyering at the exit? " She replyed with "Flyering at the exit? WHAT? Tssss i offer people free full pass it is totally different" ( A full pass is entrance for the whole weekend. these partys are 3 days with workshops) I think She's pretty popular figure in the scene so i guesse she just asks good dancers as promotion for the event. )

Anyway wich i replyed with " ..And , when am i going to get my Full pass ;)?" Wich she replyed on with " You must win the Full pass, i can't just give it away mister ;)"

Thinking of replying something like " Oeff , didnt know you wer holding the prizes here" or " Oef , i thought i made it clear last saturday im very ambitious in getting what i want" Or maybe a mix of both ?
Initially, most women won't ask a lot of things back to you, simply because they are not sure about which box to put you in. There's a little voice in their heads somewhere which tells them that they could get played and you're not the guy you say you are, so she's a little cynical about the whole thing. The best ladies' men never have to face this situation because they project a very honest version of themselves with all their wants, flaws and strengths and are very confident in their abilities. Hence, women are very taken by their personas, as a whole. If you want her to reciprocate, don't give up. Try to ask questions, try to make good, interesting conversations about topics which are deep and require thinking to be answered or argued with. Also, be persistent in your efforts. Women want to see men not giving up on them, and they throw these little tests from time to time to gauge the interest levels of the men. So, don't be giving up already.

Well, according to your query, seems to me that she has set this up in a way that she wants to hear a challenge and an answer rolled into one, so that's what we will have to give her. I'd go with something like, "Ah. :wink: Well, let me know then what I can do for you, to you.. to get my hands on that Free Pass. As you can see, I am very, very interested in this. :wink:" or something like that.

Straight. Full of hidden meanings. Innuendos, if you look at it that way. Unapologetic. Direct.

In general, it's how your texting should be. A mixture of playful, honest, sexual, charming, witty conversation.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:54 pm 
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Quote:
To answer your question Don, Me and this girl who I have been talking to recently have a very good connection and we have been speaking for a while now. Via text. Via SPAM. And via msn. We seem perfect for each other and just want to make each other so happy. We have organised to see each other in a week or so because we are still both at school. So it's important that we wait untill the holidays. I have noticed a few things about her though.
I have to take a train down to see her which will cost me around £25.
If she doesn't show up, then I have lost alot of money. Or if she is trying to lure me into a trap.
'Yeah. I love you for you, not anything else. :) '
' We will meet in the Easter holidays if you can get the train down? I really want to meet you too, you're just so perfect :) How tall are you :P ? '
' Ill be there, id never ditch anyone. '
I asked her why she doesnt always reply to my messages on msn straight away. She said:
' I think its because im doing alot of other things on my laptop, sorry, its easier to text though. Tell me if you want to go to bed, Ik u like ur sleep :) '
' Ill call you sometime. '
I said to her:
' Good luck with your german I know you struggle with it. That's why I should spank you ;). Im at a football match. It's halftime soon. 10 minuts. What do you think happens when we die? '
' I wish you were here to give me a hug :') and i have no idea :L im not religious so i dont believe in all of that, i dont think anyone knows.
' Its half time now. 2-0. If i was there we could do more than give Hugs. But i would hug you so tight and make you feel happy, im not religious either but I think when we die there is nothing more. We don't get another chance at life. So we should make the most of it while we are here. Does the thought of dieing scare you? :( '
' Im scared about people i love dying ut not myself really. That's good :). Are you having fun? '
'Toight has shown me ur a really decent, perfect guy & that i really want to meet :) lastn ight was hilarious and ive never laughed so much on SPAM :). And im sure your the right guy because i love you so much and ive never felt this strongly about anyone else like this before :) i just hope u feel the same, night x .'
I was speaking with her on msn last night and she wouldn't go into a SPAM call with me because she was skyping this other lad. I asked her about it via text.
' Put your phone on charge. I was really upset about you not wanting to SPAM me earlier. But i understand because you was skyping him. And hes been waiting :). I like our chats and i think you are the girl which i just want to make so happy and feel so fortunate to have me in your life. Are you sure you want me? :) '
She said..:
' Yea im sure. Sory but it seemed a bit selfish as ive never SPAM him before & he certainly helped with my confidence. I wudda SPAM u but mum wanted me off :/ '
I said:
' That's fine. I guess you had other things to do tonight. but at the time it seemed as if he was more important. Ill SPAM you another day. Maybe tomorrow or something. But i could imagie you just skyping him from now :P' Im glad he helped you with your confidence. I always told you. It was all confidence issues. How did he help you? :)
She said: ' He was just getting me to say words i couldnt say like juice or jelly & telling me how to say them. Even though he laughed and took the mick it was still fun :) '
I said:
'Sounds like you enjoyed yourself. I tried to make you more confident on SPAM. But I guess I didn't help you at all :(. You still act like hes a mate and nothing more. I want to take you away from the pain of your everyday life. Mymethos would work. In helping you get more confidence. But not via the internet. What makes me different than him? '
She said:
' Everything. You're two very different people with two diferent personalities that will never get on. You do have some similarties though and he is just a mate. '
I said:
' I meant why are your feelings different for us both. I did try to get on with him. But he doesn't take to kindly to my approach. I never thought I'd have anything in common with him. But I'm glad I do. You just need someone which understands you and cares for you. I'm going to take you away and cure every one of your pains and worries. You would always be my main responsibly. Why do you think I'd be an important guy in your life? '
She said:
'Obviously i feel stronger about you and love every aspect and quality of u :) Im going to sleep now so i will reply to any further texts in the morning, night x :
She means alot to me.. But I'm not sure where I stand with her right now.
I am very worried about this guys relationship with her. I could end up losing her all to him. But she reassures me " You wont lose me "
1: She never answers my texts in School.
2: She doesnt always do as I ask.
3: She texts other guys from the internet. Even though she says they are only "mates" and nothing more.
Aw, you 15 year olds remind me of my teenage years. Look, man it's all normal. The jealousy, the misunderstandings, the "she-loves-me/she-loves-me-not" stuff. We've all been there. Without exception. So, don't dig yourself into a hole about it.

Also, those 25 pounds are the money you will have to stake on this whole thing. If she really comes and meet you, money well spent. If she doesn't, then atleast you are left with the knowledge about the kind of girl she really is, and you can cut her out of your life and fill that space with someone better. If 25 pounds is the cost of the answer to this situation, then you should gladly pay it. You get a concrete answer at the end, that should be good enough.

So, don't worry so much about this. Talk to her, SPAM her, and do as you wish. Try to meet her as soon as possible and by the end of the interaction or not, you should have your answer.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:57 pm 
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Quote:
Don I gotta thank you for the comment on only doing a text once a day with a goal in mind. These last 3 days both my girls have been very consistent in responding to me consistently, and not waiting all freaking day.

I make my plan, I have one goal, and usually by the time that goal is accomplished I have texted for a few hours. And I have been leaving on a good note. So far, the initial impact has been immediate.

1. One text
2. Have a goal of giving her some entertainment, rise, etc...
3. Leave on a good note, and don't wait for the conversation to go stale.


Thanks Don.
You're welcome.

And good luck with the women. Goes without saying, you can direct all of your related questions to the thread, if and when you have them.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 6:21 pm 
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Hi Im new here and called Naithiz. I have been talking to this girl for years and she is very unresponsive on fb. I make open ended comments and give details on thing. but she just gives small responce. we do well in person but want to get better responces from her. (note she is shy not that good looking and a virgin but get personality.) any times or sujestions or just move on?

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 6:40 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
To get my 5 posts i can also ask a question , I always get the feeling if girls in general don't ask things back or ask things from my side in general that she's not interested in me. Im used to 50/50 i won't put more efford in you than you in me and that keeps me also down on the way that i wouldnt re initiate a conversation if she does not answer me wich i read here i should be doing.

Haha anyway another ask for advice for everyone , i can probably make up something myself but if anyone has a good or funny response im glad to hear it :)

She told me she does promotion work at salsa partys for congresses , and i playfully negged her with " Oh so your the one flyering at the exit? " She replyed with "Flyering at the exit? WHAT? Tssss i offer people free full pass it is totally different" ( A full pass is entrance for the whole weekend. these partys are 3 days with workshops) I think She's pretty popular figure in the scene so i guesse she just asks good dancers as promotion for the event. )

Anyway wich i replyed with " ..And , when am i going to get my Full pass ;)?" Wich she replyed on with " You must win the Full pass, i can't just give it away mister ;)"

Thinking of replying something like " Oeff , didnt know you wer holding the prizes here" or " Oef , i thought i made it clear last saturday im very ambitious in getting what i want" Or maybe a mix of both ?
Initially, most women won't ask a lot of things back to you, simply because they are not sure about which box to put you in. There's a little voice in their heads somewhere which tells them that they could get played and you're not the guy you say you are, so she's a little cynical about the whole thing. The best ladies' men never have to face this situation because they project a very honest version of themselves with all their wants, flaws and strengths and are very confident in their abilities. Hence, women are very taken by their personas, as a whole. If you want her to reciprocate, don't give up. Try to ask questions, try to make good, interesting conversations about topics which are deep and require thinking to be answered or argued with. Also, be persistent in your efforts. Women want to see men not giving up on them, and they throw these little tests from time to time to gauge the interest levels of the men. So, don't be giving up already.

Well, according to your query, seems to me that she has set this up in a way that she wants to hear a challenge and an answer rolled into one, so that's what we will have to give her. I'd go with something like, "Ah. :wink: Well, let me know then what I can do for you, to you.. to get my hands on that Free Pass. As you can see, I am very, very interested in this. :wink:" or something like that.

Straight. Full of hidden meanings. Innuendos, if you look at it that way. Unapologetic. Direct.

In general, it's how your texting should be. A mixture of playful, honest, sexual, charming, witty conversation.
I'm not giving up at all! Hehe , well about the conversation part that is cool , she studys psycholgy and im interested in that too , talk about human behaviour etc etc. Your answer made it clear to me and i heard what i needed to hear. I dont need allot of questions back now :)

So i have to be persistant and not wait 3-5 days like the other forum member adviced me? I allready thought myself that if i suddenly dont talk anymore that she wont re initiate the conversation even out of pride / needy ness.

Im thinking of tho what i should do , set up a date before the party? at the party? ask her number ? (again that would be)

Anyway, i think she didnt get the joke. She responded with Hahahaha what you can do for or with me? The people i approach only need to leave their name and e-mail adress. I do not know what more you are up to :P

I responded with well lets start adding my phone number with that and telling you to whats app me cuz this aint working too much. So i lined up 3 lines with e verything etc and she responded with :

Long text is long about her work boss. then a little sentence: Haha why aint FB working?

Ughh im getting tired of her not giving it haha its so weird!! because the next sentence she starts talking on own initiative that its her first free day of the week and she woke up early by kids in street the morning and its such a nice weather what should i do? Do you have any sunny plans? Xx


She invests as much as i do , maybe more lol but she takes long to respond tho mostly we exchange once a day ( was 3 or so in beginning ) I responded direct on her with :

Why aint FB working? Oh come on. I tought you wer the psychologist here. Let's be upfront. I like you , you like me. I don't know what more you need to accept my number but for me , that will do.

And responded to the chit chat ofc.


Last edited by Gurren on Sat Mar 24, 2012 1:23 pm, edited 6 times in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 4:09 am 
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Hey Don, I fought against a feeling today in hopes it will pay off later.

HB was giving really low energy(depressed) responses, and I picked up on it. I brought it up and gave her a little pick me up comment with very small sexual undertones. She responded well to it, and even thanked me.


What I held back one: I really wanted to ask her what happened and try to get her to open up to be a little bit of a shoulder for her. But when I thought about it, she was already impressed with my skillz at detecting her emotions through the text. I believe I have not dipped into friend zone and that was my main concern. In a real life situation, I would be hugging her an trying to sexually escalate. After all, I am someone she met on a dating site, so I would see no problem with this. But it is different over the text, and I didn't think it would help me. We are supposed to meet in a day or so, and I was hopping not going any further would aid me when we meet. I could even bring the issue up again to see if I could be that shoulder then.

Edit: And of course I reached goal, which is to build rapport. And I did not want to move backwards.

What do you think Don, did I make the right move, is there another angle I'm not seeing?


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 1:45 am 
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hey don;

this is a girl I've been pursuing for a little while, and I'm wondering if she is flaking on me or if you think this was a legit response. I have been talking to her a lot, but recently invited her over for a little movie/get together at my house with some mutual friends. At first she seemed interested but when I asked her again she gave me a BS excuse (had to study). I called her on it and this is what followed.


me:
Quote:
hey
about the movie night
Honestly, do you actually want to come, or are you not interested? If you really don't want to watch movies, I'll won't mention it. But if you actually are too busy, I watch movies with people pretty much every weekend.

her:
Quote:
i really do want to watch movies haha
i just question your choices...warn me about any future naked fighting scenes!!!
yeah i really am kinda busy
i want to study
what are you guys watching tomorrow?

so, is this one worth pursuing? or is this just being nice?


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 5:09 pm 
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I'm not giving up at all! Hehe , well about the conversation part that is cool , she studys psycholgy and im interested in that too , talk about human behaviour etc etc. Your answer made it clear to me and i heard what i needed to hear. I dont need allot of questions back now :)

So i have to be persistant and not wait 3-5 days like the other forum member adviced me? I allready thought myself that if i suddenly dont talk anymore that she wont re initiate the conversation even out of pride / needy ness.

Im thinking of tho what i should do , set up a date before the party? at the party? ask her number ? (again that would be)

Anyway, i think she didnt get the joke. She responded with Hahahaha what you can do for or with me? The people i approach only need to leave their name and e-mail adress. I do not know what more you are up to :P

I responded with well lets start adding my phone number with that and telling you to whats app me cuz this aint working too much. So i lined up 3 lines with e verything etc and she responded with :

Long text is long about her work boss. then a little sentence: Haha why aint FB working?

Ughh im getting tired of her not giving it haha its so weird!! because the next sentence she starts talking on own initiative that its her first free day of the week and she woke up early by kids in street the morning and its such a nice weather what should i do? Do you have any sunny plans? Xx


She invests as much as i do , maybe more lol but she takes long to respond tho mostly we exchange once a day ( was 3 or so in beginning ) I responded direct on her with :

Why aint FB working? Oh come on. I tought you wer the psychologist here. Let's be upfront. I like you , you like me. I don't know what more you need to accept my number but for me , that will do.

And responded to the chit chat ofc.
I think what's glaringly obvious is that there is a lack of an established comfort level between you and her. And to an extent, it's expected, you've JUST met her and to be fair, you don't talk much to her. One text a day will get you nowhere anytime soon. You need to start having conversations with something to achieve. With some definite aim. And keep talking to her, till you've got what you wanted. It could be anything, from a bunch of laughs to a confession of a secret to her telling you she likes you too. Whatever, man. Just have a goal in your head while you're talking to her, so that you don't indulge in aimless drivel and waste both her and your time.

Moving on, when I give suggestions here, I explicitly tell people to convert them in your own words. Otherwise, women will quickly notice the incongruence, because these words aren't "yours" they are mine and hence, they came from my frame. You need to just take the idea behind the suggestion and mold it in your language for maximum impact.

Also, if she laughed at the message, it means she felt some tension and was unsure of the implication, hence she used the 'hahahaha' route to get out of it. You didn't have to back down there, as you did. You should've carried on with the direct, slightly sexual tone and moved ahead. It's important to carry out the conversation from your own frame and to not buy into the woman's frame. That way you can dictate the process on your terms. Remember that.

Anyway, keep talking to her. Increase duration of conversation. Be direct, take chances. And when she's comfortable enough, ask for her number. Be patient.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 5:13 pm 
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Quote:
Hey Don, I fought against a feeling today in hopes it will pay off later.

HB was giving really low energy(depressed) responses, and I picked up on it. I brought it up and gave her a little pick me up comment with very small sexual undertones. She responded well to it, and even thanked me.


What I held back one: I really wanted to ask her what happened and try to get her to open up to be a little bit of a shoulder for her. But when I thought about it, she was already impressed with my skillz at detecting her emotions through the text. I believe I have not dipped into friend zone and that was my main concern. In a real life situation, I would be hugging her an trying to sexually escalate. After all, I am someone she met on a dating site, so I would see no problem with this. But it is different over the text, and I didn't think it would help me. We are supposed to meet in a day or so, and I was hopping not going any further would aid me when we meet. I could even bring the issue up again to see if I could be that shoulder then.

Edit: And of course I reached goal, which is to build rapport. And I did not want to move backwards.

What do you think Don, did I make the right move, is there another angle I'm not seeing?
Well, you could've done it twice over.

Firstly, got her to confess what was bothering her through text. Then, a little call to offer support, maybe light teasing to try to get her mind off of it and some kind, affectionate words to lift her spirits.

Then, when you meet her, you could be a tad more nicer and gentle (but by no means, any less sexual or hesitant to escalate) and she'd have loved the whole care package she got from you.

That would've been my strategy.

Don't think yours is too shabby either. Just be mindful of what I suggested, when you meet her. You'll do fine.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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