Hi there,

1 year PUA here.

I'll try summarise this so as not to bore you with a load of text:

- Met Girl a while ago.
- Started sarging
- Ended up hookip up with her when I saw her out.
- Were sort of friends, but we'd hook up all the time.
- She got a boyfriend, continued to see me/hook up.
- Had sex with me whilst they were still going out.
- She broke up with him just before new years.
- (Now this is the issue) For her new years resolution, she said that she's not sleeping wth anyone shes not in a relationship with, and that we wern't continueing our hooking up or anything intimate anymore.

Right now, I'm still friends with her, and initially, this didn't bother me, cause it was sort of just for fun and I didn't hgave feelings for her.
NOW! Heres the fucked up wierd bit:

When we hang out, she's super flirty, EG holds my hand, calls/texts me all the time to hang, always wants to see me. But if I try to make a move, even after we've been watching a movie in my room cuddled up for an hour, she'll push me away and say no, Freeze out doesnt work either.

BUT, as of recent, I think i've started to like her.
Now I need advice:


Do I continue to pursue her to make her my GF, if so, what approach should I take?

OR

Do I cut her out of my life to not have to deal with the pain?

ANY and all help would be very appreciated.

Xoxx
Kaiyn

I've definitely been there before. First ask yourself what it is that you like about her. I mean really figure this out because it could just be that you aren't hooking up anymore. And if you find that you really do like her then by all means go for it. But again, only if you find that you really do like her. If you don't actually like her then maybe it's time for you to stand up and tell her that things just aren't going to work out between you two. Hell, you could even tell her the truth if you wanted to. Basically, the choice is yours, but whatever decision you make, be sure to have thought it through and that you are confident with your choice.

_________________
"I'm not a player, I just know how to quickly and efficiently remove a woman from my life when I figure out that she isn't good for me. If everyone has a soulmate out there somewhere, then I'm on a mission to find mine"

Thats what I thought.
She's even a really good friend, But I keep thinking, If we were in a relationship, it would be awesome.

It's so fucking confusing.

I'm currently sleeping with a couple of other girls, and I'm no where near as happy fucking them, as I am just talking to this girl.

New year resolutions usually fail. Eventually, she'll get lonely or horny and give in and you guys will hook up again.

If you want to date her, its up to you. But remember she did cheat on her last boyfriend with you, which shows she has that potential in her. And also take into account that you didn't want to date her before she started turning you down, and you might not want her after she says yes again, it may just be the challenge that you like and not her personally.

Wow, your story resonated strongly with an experience I had last summer. The girl was a 20, and I was in my early 30s, so typically there was a maturity discrepancy there to begin with. That said, we were very intimate for the first few weeks but I had to distance myself when it became evident that she did not foresee us as a couple, and that her intentions were simply to have fun.

We would often get intimate in my bed while watching TV shows together, but as things escalated she'd physically push me away (of course it makes you want the girl even more). At any rate, no matter how hard I tried to 'win her over' it didn't work; she knew she was in control of the situation and simply used me for her own needs of affection and power.

If she's withholding sex to cajole you into a relationship, that's another matter entirely. However, if she has indicated she doesn't want for you to be her boyfriend and refuses to 'hookup' with any more guys then you're simply setting yourself up for heartache as when she finally finds that someone you'll be left out in the cold - not a pleasant feeling.

If you think she's open to having you as a boyfriend then I'd back off from her sexually, and potentially freeze her out for a few days or at good week. But only do this once you're absolutely certain she's got a vested interest in you. If she doesn't, show her a good time, give her an indicator of what she'll miss if you are no longer in her life, and only THEN make yourself ghost for a bit; by ghost I don't mean ignoring her, but rather when she contacts you curious as to your whereabouts just remain a bit aloof and tell her you've been really busy with things as of late.

Right now she has all the power and she knows it. She's calling the shots and you have to be firm and demonstrate that you're willing to walk if she SAYS one thing (e.g. the two of you can't be intimate), yet does another (e.g., flirts with you). She can do this because you allow this to happen, which also infers weakness (not attractive quality in a male).

Wow, I never saw it from that angle.

I thought I was playing all my cards right haha.

I'm going to speak to her tonight. I still think i'm in the early stages of liking her, but it will exponentially evolve within a short period of time.
My biggest fear is that she'll start dating other people, which I don't want.

She has hooked up with other people since new years, even been on a couple dates, she's a gorgeous girl so she gets the attention all the time.

I think my plan of action will be:
- Tell her my side of the story, and that her constantly flirting with me, is something i'm not willing to put up with.
- I might even tell her that we should try things again, just take it back to before her promise, and see how it goes.

I've never been as happy with anyone else, even just hanging out, And I know she's the same too.