Hi everyone,

As stated in my introduction I have just moved to a new city in a new country. It's the perfect opportunity to improve my game and has given me the motivation to stop making excuses.

Basically my question is; as someone who has just moved to a new country, how can I use this to my advantage?

I definitely have a case of approach anxiety, mainly due to not knowing how to open the conversation. How can I use my situation as a conversational topic to open up setss? Has anyone been in a similar situation and can you offer any insight?

A bit more background: I hated my job back in London and was generally bored. As a spontaneous decision I decided to quit, sell everything I own and buy a one way flight. I'm currently working a good job out here and am loving life. I plan to save so I can travel the world some more.

Any comments welcome!

Riverr

Where did you move to out of curiosity? I left London and went to Spain.

This is a new place. Nobody knows you. You can be that guy you want to be. This is a golden ticket to not having AA. Maybe your friends back in London would treat you a certain way so it's hard to improve. But nobody knows you here. If you get rejected who cares. Keep going, if you look stupid who cares. People will see this as you and you'll be known for being quite a character.

Sure you can do all of this and more if you stayed at home. But for me it made it easier where nobody knew me. I could act as who I wanted to really be, and then I became it (well still on the way to becoming it).

It's just easier than when my old friends were treating me a certain way, not out of spite or being bad friends but because that was who they saw me as. For example, this didn't happen by the way but it's an example, they could burst out laughing when I went to approach and pulled silly winky faces and made me look silly. But without them, you can approve without the feeling that you're going to be seen as acting out of character for you. Bad example, but I hope you get my point.

As I said, many people have achieved this without moving country, but being in a new place just makes it easier and nobody has any assumptions about you. You're the new exciting kid on the block.

No, I know exactly what you mean; back home my close friends already have an image of me that's hard to break, them seeing me approaching girls regularly seems out of character and gives it another element of pressure.

As your in a similar situation I'm curious as to if you found any paticular ways of approaching women that worked in your favour? I mean for example using the fact you were new to the area as opener?

Riverr

Edit: I moved to Sydney from London

Exactly. You'd want to build friends at the same time as pick up. If you ask someone for directions somewhere, if you get a good vibe when asking them then you could ask them to show you around one time. That you want to go clubbing or whatever and ask if she can show you the places. You could even just ask for directions even if you know where you are, just say your new in town.

You can literally ask every new person you meet to show you around. Don't just walk up to someone and ask them to show you, you'd need to get a bit of rapport going first. Sometimes you feel a great vibe straight away so it's fine to ask.

One thing to be aware of this does put her in charge of where she's taking you which gives them the chance to flake. You can try and regain some control by telling her she is your new tour guide and it's her job to show you cool places...and if she flakes or whatever you can make jokes that you want a refund, you're complaining to the tourist board etc etc. All works if you do it right.

Cheers titaman

I have been using that approach of "im new here wheres good" etc but was having trouble transitioning it into a natural conversation. I think your right about knowing when you get a good vibe and just going for it.

look forward to trying these!

If anyone has any more comments id be keen to hear them