So, there’s this woman I’ve been interested for a while. When I tried to ask her out a while ago I got the “I’m not in a good place to go out right now” kind of thing.

Out of the blue she texted me a couple of weeks ago about wanting to see a concert (and she mentioned her price limit, so it looks like she’s going to pay her own way). Anyway, I got a a very good pair of tickets, but to be funny I texted her how I snagged a pair of tickets, but they were in this nose-bleed section and the where really expensive. She sent a text back saying “please tell me U R kidding” Then, I sent her a text saying where they really were and how much they cost. She texted back “OMG you’re such a jokester… I feel much better now!”

So, I was thinking of texting back something like “being funny is how I get all the women!” I’m thinking she could take that in one of two ways (bear in mind she blew off my first attempts to ask her out): 1. He's saying he gets women by being funny (implying pre-selection) which she might take as DHV; or 2. He’s saying that by being funny he’s implying he's trying get me (which could appear try-hard and could actually be a DLV).

I know this is super basic (from a newbie), but what do you guys think? What’s the best text response (if any)?

I wouldnt say anything like that, sounds corny to me.
just go to the concert with her and start from there.
but then again, what the hell do i know.

Yeah..what the hell does bartm know. Fuck him.

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Don't get on one knee for a girl that won't get on two for you.

i personally wouldn't send that. i would keep the texting to a mimimum and try to game her in person at the concert.

Maybe she was truthful before when she denied you.

Don't say say, it's not too bad, but I wouldn't say it.

Thanks for the opinions guys! Much appreciated!

Well, since I hadn't sent the text and the opinions leaned toward not sending it, that makes it easy.

BTW, any advice on how to play it from here with her? A month or two ago she had given me the "I'm not in a good place right now to be going out" thing, So, she may have been implying she's not interested in me or was friend-ing me. (though, I guess it is possible she was just not in a good place before). However, she had given me a couple of IOIs before that, so I'm not quite sure what happened. I did have to go out of town for a couple weeks between the IOIs and her "not in a good place" text, so I may have blown it with my poor texting skills. All of that happened before I even stumbled upon PUA stuff.

Any tips on how to proceed with her? How do I get her interested again? She's definitely a cutie and we do have some common interests (e.g., we like similar music and I'm a musician in a working rock band and she used to sing in a rock band).

Thanks again!

I think you're thinking about it too much.. if it fits in with your personality then say it.

When girls call me funny or something similar eg jokester in your case, I sometimes make a comment like 'well they do say making a girl laugh is half the battle of getting her into bed!'. I like to come across as C+F, and providing it doesn't clash with what you're like IRL, I think it's a good thing.

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Behind the lady who dances and the man who madly drinks, i'll show you the truth about love.

Bodega: Hmm...that's a good point.

I looked back over my texts with her and I think part of the problem that led to the "not in a good place right now" thing is that I didn't really establish myself as C+F or really anything else for that matter. My texts to her were far too pedestrian...mostly just simple, fairly generic questions...I didn't really establish any kind of sexual frame with her (at least not yet). I can be a funny guy, but I don't think she's really seen much of that side of me, yet. I did ask her out via a phone call (had to leave voicemail) and later via text. She initially ignored answering the parts of the text regarding a date, but she did answer other parts of my text. Then, when I asked her again (via text) about getting together for drinks or coffee she finally sent the "not in a good place right now" reply. About three weeks after that, she sent me a text out of the blue asking about going to the concert.

At this point (given the previous history), would it be a good idea to try to establish a sexual frame with a text (e.g., either mine from my first post or the one Bodega mentioned) or is that too big a frame-shift right now and maybe I should I first try to move things in that direction in person (i.e., at the concert), via kino, etc.?

Maybe I'm still thinking about this too much.

Opinions?

Thanks!

no add-ons needed. just go to the concert. you did your part already

Text whatever you want to man. It doesn't matter. You don't control the attraction, and whether or not you say something won't determine how things go.

The situation was already decided from the start. Just the fact that you did not TRUST yourself to respond properly, you've already failed and proven she won't feel attracted to you.

Hello brother.

Personally, I would call this a chick compliance bait. Several PUA gurus call this a compliance test. You know brother, girls have a way of saying things indirectly to get you to comply. Girls have several different reasons to bait you for compliance such as:

• 1. Gauge your interest.
  
  2. Gauge how much you are willing to spend on them.
  
  3. Gauge how far they can get you to comply.
  
  4. Gauge your generosity.
  
  5. Other reasons.

Once you comply, the succeeding compliance tests become more difficult. If you comply to anything she drops a hint on, she'll walk all over you in the end until she totally hates you for letting her get her way all the time.

On the other hand, if you have been throwing mixed signals at her because your game is the indirect type rather than direct, then not complying at all will make her lose interest in you.

The worst kind of compliance test from a chick is when her friends ask you to comply to their request because your hot babe said so.

Personally, when girls throw a compliance test at me, I give them an emotional roller coaster ride. For instance,

HB: I like cashew nuts.
Me: This is mine. I won't give you any.
HB: But I want some. They're my favorite. (Expresses sadness for the rejection).
Me: Poor little girl. I got you some hazelnuts.
HB: (Face lightens up.) But, but I want the cashew nuts...
Me: No you can't. This is mine. Stick to your hazelnuts. They suck.
HB: (Teasing.) Come on give me some cashew nuts.

This teasing goes on and on. Give her fun. Make her comply to your requests instead. Frustrate her. Make your brief presence a pleasurable emotional experience for her. Handle compliance tests well. You either get walked all over on or you become an emotional addiction for her.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Wow, all these games, all starting to come back to me...Hellgound makes some great points, but girls will say all sorts of stuff to figure you out. I know I told this story before in another thread, but I'll say the abridged version, but my own ex-wife told me on one of our first few dates that she didn't want to date me anymore, that she was in "a place" in her life we're she was content being indepedent, so why mess things up, etc. What was she really doing? Seeing how serious I was about her. Anyway, that night ended in us hooking up, dating, engaged and eventually married...this was a 6 1/2 year relationship from start to finish...all which started from a "I don't think we should date again" !?!?!?

She very well may have been in a bad place at the time. If she didn't know you that well, she may have had her guard up a little, it doesn't mean she was necessarily trying to blow you off or F zone you....

Go to the concert, have fun, like Hellhound said, tease...oh, and definitely try and touch her...not in a gropey way, I hope you know what I mean...maybe the two of you will have a moment during one of the songs of this band...

J.

Guys, thanks for all the great points!!

stugots: I think I know what you mean about the kino. And with any luck, we will be able to have a "moment" during one of the songs since it is one of the most sensitive, romantic bands on the planet...

Van Halen!

Well, maybe we can have a moment, anyways.

Thanks again, guys! It's nice to know there are plenty of guys out there willing to help a newbie.

Hahaha, that's pretty funny.... I actually saw them when they were in NYC, apparently it was at the best of the three shows; another buddy of mine went to all them.... This is even better, actually, although VH does change their set up quite a bit, however, it's still Diamond Dave VH which, regardless of how old he looks, and his patented "jump" kicks, well, let's say don't "jump" that much anymore, old VH is pure sex! I was at this show in a corporate environment and let me tell you, the few women there were letting loose! If there's any place for a girl to let her guard down, its a VH show, I think you will have a blast....and you may even be able to get...gropey even... (probably not, but play it by ear).

I'd like for one of the mor experience playas to chime on this, but from what I'm seeing or remembering, a girl with her "guard up" a little (I'm a situation like this now with one of them), is much better than one that simply doesn't care...

For example, my ex-wife, who absolutely adored the F#$% out of me, she was definitely more of the aggressor when we were together, I can tell we really done, done now, because she can really careless about who I'm doing...not that she wants to hear about my day to day shenigans, but alluded to one of the more high profile chicks I banged, and I can tell she really didn't care and it made me look stupid even bringing up....conversely, I have a "friend" who I've been starting to get interested and she definitely says she wants to keeps things status, but, well, first I know she thinks I'm attractive, guys, just trust me; she refused to see a picture of my ex-wife, NEVER wants to hear about the girls I'm dating, sends me pics of her and her nephew telling me reasons why she thinks the both of us (her and I) are great with kids....wtf.... not worth thinking about, women are crazy, if she really didn't care, she wouldn't be so guarded, yet so eager to always talk to me...at least I think... it sounds to me like you're in a similiar situation....

OH, if she's grinding up on you during "Dance the Night a Way..." I think you got the greenlight my friend...

(sorry for rambling...)

J.

I analyze situations like these to help me better my game. Thanks for sharing J stugots.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html