So after an entire year has passed I finally approached some girls. First I approached a girl telling her I've always been scared of people. Then I approached a girl and told her she was cute and walked away. And yesterday I approached a girl and her 2 friends, but I froze. I walked up, I said "You look bored. Want to talk?" she replied "Do I know you?" and I replied with "I'm Mike". Then I paused a couple seconds, awkwardly asked her what she went to school for, she said she didn't go to school but she worked, and I froze again and bailed. Sad thing is my two friends who told me to approach the girl said she was the hottest girl there... I honestly can't even remember what she looked like cause I was so nervous, I never broke eye contact but obviously I fucked everything else up.

Anyways my friends are clearly the alpha males. They both have slept with over 100 women and I'm still a virgin at 29.... one of them gave me advice afterwards that I don't need to practice socializing, but instead I need to play "brain exercising games" such as Taboo, Minesweeper, Hearts, Sudoku, etc. He says I think too slow and those games will help. I'm not disputing they might not help a little, but I don't see how devoting a month or two to playing video games I don't even enjoy is going to help me not freeze up again down the road. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Hi there.

First of all... NEVER tell a girl that you are beeing or have been afraid of contact in any kind of way. and NEVER EVER tell the girl you like her !! you are beeing needy in all aspects.

Try to make eye contact first a few times and see how she responds. Does she keep looking at you ? does she give you a little smile or does she look away after a few seconds ? BINGO. you can open her. try to open her about a situation... start a conversation about the music in the bar, the bartender, the crowd, her drink, anything that has something to do with the situation.

try avoid talking about work, school or anything that all the guys talk about. they will be bored.
instead, try to conversate in a funny way. be a little cocky too.

maybe this might help.

Oh yeah...

opening a girl in a group is another thing !

When opening a girl in a group of more girls or friends... don't start conversating directly to 'the girl'.

You'll have to win trust ; pick one of the other girls for conversation, make HER like you and so you will win 'trust' in the group first.
Once you have the trust of the other girls... you can start talking to your 'target girl'.

While you are talking to the other girls first and you win trust and the other girls start to like you, you're 'target girl' might think 'why he ain't talking to me yet ??? '.
and that's how you gain attraction when you finally start a conversation with the ' target girl'...

You gotta get confidence. I smoke a lot of weed. A lot I'm about to go smoke a jay as a matter of fact. Weed makes me slow. Weed does not effect my game. Haha you would just be wasting time playing those games. Just gain confidence.

_________________
Stay High

"I'm savage as fuck, and willing and able and never got clowned cuz when it came around I was down to put my dick on the table"

Thanks for the replies. I just wanted to say that my first 2 attempts were just for personal comfort. I've been scared of people all my life and I have trust issues so I just wanted to get that off my chest to a stranger and calling the girl cute was a big deal for me because I had -never- complimented a girl before. Heck, a year ago I had never complimented anyone. Not even a friend. *shrug*

Keep on doing the good work bro !

it's just that you should not be the Mr. Nice guy when it's all about girls.

You should be No more mister nice guy.

don't please the girls to much like making compliments or telling her how beautifull or cute she is. don't even mention it in the first place.

and remember... it's a numbers game. approach 10 woman in an hour and maybe 1 or 2 might be interested !
Don't get lost when the first few girls decline... it's an illusion that every girl will like you instantly.

have a look here in this forum in the ' opening ' section.
It might help you to learn how to open a girl.

Its a big step forward trying to open girls while beeing affraid. i've been there too and i admire you're guts !

just keep on trying and don't get lost when it doesn't work out so well sometimes.
It's a learning process that takes some time.
Understanding women is like a book with spells. don't try to understand the spell, just use it an see what happends

I approached around 10 girls yesterday only got 1 number. She was the hottest girl I approached too so its all good. The fact you approached is a huge step 90% of the guys don't even do that. Keep up the good work bro your on the right track keep learning keep approaching.

Hey Ability

I'm really concerned about this statement in particular...
It seems like your "friends" are fucking with you and seem to be giving
you the wrong advice on how to go about your current situation. Think about
it man:

- You have 2 alpha male friends who are clearly ontop of their game and
confident as fuck

(Why would they want to help you? What value do you
give to their own social status? In my opinion, their probably pawning you
off or using you as the crash wingman so they can get into set later. Think
about it like this: You went up the girls, you approached, you didn't do so
well...you eject...then they swoop in and pickup the SAME girls you
couldn't get yourself! Their probably like "hey, did our little buddy
try and pick you up?" "yeah..." "Oh well...wanna go have some fun?"
From there its pretty self-explanatory from what happens afterwards)


- They have both slept with over 100 women

(Why would 2 Alpha's give away their solid game tactics to you?
If they were really your friends and cared
about you you wouldn't be in the same situation your in now, they would
have given you the proper guidance and knowledge they have learnt
over their own personal journeys and passed that flame onto you)

- You're still a virgin at 29 (sorry to hear about that)

- They tell you that in order to progress you don't need to socialize

(That's bullshit. Flat out. How are you supposed to get better and improve
your own "social" life if you don't go out and be social with others? You
can't just hope for the best and expect shit to manifest on its own,
you go out there and make it happen by interacting with others
and that is a fact)


- In order to progress and get good at game,
you need to play Sudoku and Minesweeper etc

Odd. I didn't know that you could learn how to pickup a girl or learn
how to interact with girls by playing a Japanese number game /
destroying mines / playing a virtual card game. Dude, listen to me,
if the pickup community knew that you could get women by
playing these games do you know how much attention the PUA's
and guru's would give to Minesweeper and Sudoku?

That's a fucking retarded idea, pardon my french. What possible
valuable information relating to interacting with girls on a social
level can you take away by playing these games? Nothing.

That's probably why you're still in the same position your in now...
you're friends are giving you false advice and implanting retarded
idea's into your head so they keep all the women to themselves
while you stay enclosed in a bubble until you figure it out for
yourself! Do you think they would want you to somehow
learn how to seduce their women? Of course not!

If I were you, I would ditch these guys and make new friends ASAP.
They are bringing down you're own value and it's not doing you any justice
hanging around them by doing so.

I've been in that situation before man and it can only get worse. If you don't
want to be a 39 year old virgin you'll take my advice

Hope that helped.

- Chai

_________________
'Bitches aint shit' - Chai

Thinking faster is universal tool, i mean the brain itself. The pressure weaknesses when you posses a higher goal than having a girlfriend.

In order to be good with girls you need to be around ones and learn from them.
But i think you know all this theory and need some good advice.

Make a friend out of any girl you meet, try to feel comfortable around girls. You must stop caring if they like you or not. Only then you can express your sexuality freely.

What are you good at? What do you love doing? Is there anything, any action after which you don't fucking care if you are naked or somebody likes you or not?

There has to be something...For me its skiing. After 7 days of skiing, my self confidence went mountain high!!! Since i loved myself for doing such activity.
Love yourself and you can't make a mistake.

First step is to stop blaming yourself and stop thinking your friends are better than you. If they make you anxious then they are not ones that understand you. Just saying...Good Luck hopefully you will find inspiration in our posts