I'm so glad I found this site, i have wanted to tell someone my story for a little while now and it has sucked not having the ability to talk about it with anyone and find the problem

So my story:

I'm 18, a freshmen in college, 5'7, average looking, not really muscular, and this is basicly how i would describe how i have looked my whole life. There was a point in my life where I had some sort of game, i didn't know it, but i did, unless of course it was just plain luck. My situation is not as bad as some others are, but it's only getting worse, basicly this is how my luck with girls in my life went.

When i was in middle school, I had a few awkward years, but I had alot of older friends that were in high school so by the time I made it there i had alot more friends and was around girls all the time. In my early high school years, i can't even say I remember feeling nervous when simply talking to a girl. I will admit, I never really made an effort to make the first move, but on two seperate occasions i ended up spitting some accidental game and getting laid by a girl that was pretty hot and 2 years older than me. After that (that was tenth grade) i made alot of female friends, never really dated many of them, only 2, even though looking back now i know i could of dated most of them considering a few of them actually admitted that they used to crush on me.

Speaking of these female friends, one of them actually became my "best friend" because i actually went for it and tried to make moves but she said she hadn't known me long enough. After that we would hang out all the time and party and what not, the whole time she thought i was past liking her and we were just friends, until one night when she hooked up with one of my buddys. I got so pissed off and didnt talk to her for a while. Then one night we ended up at the same party just before winter break in 11th grade, and after i made up some lie about why i wasnt talking to her for a while becuase i was scared to say i still wanted her, we ended up hooking up. Once again, I dont know how the hell I did it but whatever. After that, I don't even know what went down, we talked a little but were busy with other things most of the break, and by the time school came back around, it was like it never even happened. I know some of you may be thinking that it only happened because she was drunk, well all i have to say to that is i really don't believe in the whole Fucking whoever you see cuz your drunk thing. I do believe it can slightly change judgement, but i believe what it does better is bring out the truth, unless your totally plastered lol. So basicly, i had this girl i had been crushing on for a half a year, i finally got everything i wanted, then for some reason i Fucked it all up and never did anything with my opportunity. Now years later she hates my guts apparently, i guess it's because she thought i used her when in fact i just felt awkward around her after we had sex i guess.

I think that is the point at which i started going downhill. There started being less and less girls in my life, i even ended up not having a girlfriend for 2 years, but when i did which was last November, it was out of pure luck, because like i said, i'm only 18, and i ended up hooking up with a decent looking 21 year old that messaged me first on facebook after i added her and never said anything like the scared little dick head i am. then i dated her for about a week, until she dumped me. This of course was becuase of my nervousness and insecurity that was probably obvious as hell when i was with her. I dont know what has happened, like i litteraly can not get a single sentence out when im around any hot girl, like at all. I knew this 21 year old chick wanted it and i still made her make the first move. I dont know what the fuck has happened.

Like I said, before i could at least make conversation with girls and be comfortable, I didn't exactly push myself onto them or anything but i knew when i could make a move at least. But now... i dont know, if i know i have the opportunity to make a move or talk to a girl, i freeze, ive read two books including The Game, and i will even think about the tips before a situation where i can meet a new girl, and as soon as she appears, it all leaves my head and a stand there not saying anything like a fucking dumbass, i dont know what to do. Like i said, im not muscular, tall, or amazingly good looking, so obviously its not my looks that got me the girls in the past, so i had to have something, what it was, i dont know. Whatever it was, I don't even know how I ended up with that 21 year old a few months ago, she must have been looking for a "nice guy" then decided we are no fun or something.

All i know is I need help, I want to be able to keep up with all my friends game, they are starting to notice my problem now i think because im running out of excuses here. Just like last night, me and my friend were having a small bonfire with a other few friends, and one of them invited a girl he had just met over for some beers and the plan was for me to hook up with her friend. So he talked to the girl he invited about me and her friend and everything and she was up for it, then when she got there i even heard her whisper to someone that i was kinda cute, and i was still frozen like a fucking ice cube and completely blew it for all my friends to see, and it fucking sucked. So somebody help me before I go fucking insane please lol

I hope someone actually takes the time to read that through, it felt good to be able to write that out because i have been playing my situation in my head over and over the last few months like a shitty re run, and i think it's time i let the story escape before my head explodes. I dont think I am a hopeless case since ive at least had sex and girlfriends before, I just need help getting over my recent insecurity issues that I aquired for who knows what damn reason. One problem is I can't think of anything to say, like i seriously get no ideas, i see people say things like just talk about random things that pop in your head and if she shows interest then go with it. Well if thats the case, I'm fucked becuase the only idea that pops in my head is "Fuck i dont have anything to say". No matter how hard i try to remember a tip ive read or no matter how much a rehearse topics in my mind, as soon as the opportunity comes, it all goes away.

Dude there are worse things in life. I'm 21 and a virgin and I had to deal with a lot more shit than not getting laid for a long time. You're also learning tips on being with girls earlier in ur life than I did. Being proactive is key. Sounds like you need to escalate and take more chances bro!

oh and when it comes to what to say. I watched this video from simple pick up, that the only reason you have nothing to say is you just get to nervous. Say whatever the first thing comes into you're mind. Whether its do you like fruit or check out these sunglasses. It shows you're not nervous, don't see them as a threat, and spontaneous and interesting. Basically you talk to them like any of you're buddies. Again 21 virgin but trust me I do have some game.

Dude i was actually thinking that the other day, i was gona try to picture the next girl i have a chance to talk to as a guy (sounds kinda wierd to me too haha) so i could be comfortable just talking about things, then maybe try to start flirting if i can manage to maintain a conversation lol

And as for the first thing that pops into my head, there is seriously no thoughts besides the ones of me being worried that im gona fuck up, ive read other topic tips just like what you just told me but as soon as i get the opportunity to use them i go blank haha, idk, i guess i just need to work on it, i think now more than ever

Thanks for the reply tho, was helpful, i'll try to be that way from now on

Actually, You're problem is rather simple, your entire post has summed it up because.

Judging by all the information You felt like sharing, means You're a deep thinker. I'm the same as You are, had the same issues, the funniest part of all this PUA stuff is how greatly confidence increases your chances of succes.

When I started PUA, I listed a whole lot of things about myself and what I wanted to improve, and once I got to the confidence part, which means AA etc, everything pretty much skyrocketted. It's really important that You just open up in a good way.
I'm not that much of a talker either, my friend just blasts me under the table when it comes to jokes etc, but I have a whole different way of talking to girls.

She said You were cute
You were at a bonfire
You never met her.

There were a million things, that I'm sure even in your head popped up to say. You could open up with something like ''Hey, I haven't seen your face around! My name's ... '' - Then switch the conversation to the event and talk about the bonfire, if it's her first time, tell her some funny stories and just be playful. It's guaranteed succes if the girl said you were cute.

Confidence
Good body language
Playful attitude

That's all You need. I was in the same boat mate, even worst then You, and trust me on this, it works hardcore.

dude you are lucky that you're learning this shit now while you're just starting college, in college it is so easy to get laid!! it sounds like you are trying to just have a general sense of game, and then go in and improv. that won't work at this stage, you need to actually study the crap out of each stage in detail, and learn a ton of material. once you get better at it you can work without material / improv on the spot, but in the beginning you need to have a very specific plan that includes some tried and true material.

Exactly!!!!! thats exactly what it is man, i just couldnt think of a label for it, like (please dont judge me for what im about to say) for instance, i smoke pot with friends on the weekends like a normal college student in a boring small town, and i have noticed that if I am high off weed, its even harder to talk to girls, and that would make sense because those of you that smoke pot know how analytic it makes you haha, so yeah thanks man thats exactly what i needed to hear to help my solve my issues, but actually i have a little success story for you guys, minor, but progress i guess.

So basicly, i will be moving back to Maryland where I am from very soon to go to a University (im in community college now), so basicly i just found the first random girl i could from the area i will be going to on facebook and added her, commented on a photo and started a simple hello how are you convo. It turned out that when i was reading her bio, everything she had in it was basicly how i describe my self so that was a great way to have good topics. So after that i kinda was being playful and flirty, telling her i was gona stop talkign to her just as a joke, and eventually led to indirectly suggesting that i wanted to fuck her, and now this totally hot girl i would never have dreamed of getting wants me pretty damn bad, i already have her number and all that shit, so when I finally go up there I'll have one waitin for me, unless she loses interest by then.

If she does lose interest, i dont really care, i just wanted to see if I had the ability to come up with my own lines that could indirectly get her into thinking about fucking me and it worked i guess, the last thing she said to me was "I'm getting off now because you got me all hot and I get aggravated when im on the computer like that" or something along those lines and was telling me i better text her tomorrow and stuff haha.

Now I know some of you are probably thinking well that wasnt face to face man. I know this, but considering i had never even really had the balls to message a girl on facebook before, i thought it could be a small stepping stone to the real thing, and honestly, knowing that i got this girl wanting to fuck within an hour of randomly meeting her on facebook, it really fuckin raised my confidence i think. So now hopefully i can remember some things i said so i can use them in the future, i will post our entire conversation tomorrow so you guys can critique me on what i did right and wrong. All i know is that i hope i keep her interested by the time i make it down to University, because she will definatly be the hottest chick ive laid my hands on, and yet again, its an older one . Hopefully by then i can talk to her face to face with no issues. But yeah please come back and critique my convo sometime tomorrow night guys, thanks for the help so far.

Like i said thanks everyone thats helped, but pbblade once you said im just a deep thinker it was like the largest duh moment in my life, thanks so much for pointing that out, that is definatly a 100% fact, not just regarding to women but it pointed out the issues to alot of other things in my life, sorry im ranting here but it felt like a major revelation as soon as i saw that man holy shit. something so simple that i never even thought about...