I started approaching women while i was temporarily in miami. I've been back in ohio for almost a month and I have totally relapsed into AFC mode. I feel like a sham. like all the studying and practice was a joke. like all my efforts were only fooling me, and this passive, fearful little boy is the real me, despite all of my ambition and desire.

I don't know what to do. in my head I pictured me coming home and surprising everyone with this new, non-socially retarded me. but the second I stepped off the plane I fell back into my most "comfort zonest" of comfort zones.

Coming back home after a season long vacation was the perfect opportunity to reframe how people see me. I've given them no reason to see a changed man. as far as they can see. I came back exactly the same as I left.

I don't want an Identity anymore. how do I finally kill this obligation to fit into the behavior patterns of my past, and of the expectations of others. I've been fighting to change for months, and it feels like I'm leaping baby steps. I just want to finally wake up as the person I want to be.

i tihnk i understand what your talking about because ive gone throught it too. excpet for me it wasnt the location, it was the girl i was with. everytihng was fine when we were seeing eachother.....i dont exaclty know how to explain it, but everytihng seemed easier ( approach, casual conversation, jokes..just a pleasant mental thought process)..then it all went to shit and now i feel like im back at square 1 .... im currently in the process refinding the path to square 2 (permanently)

You're only back at square one if you tell yourself that. Every single thing you do in life - whether it's a success or a failure - is an improvement on yourself. With every single thing you do, you gain more experience for next time. With the right frame of mind, you can use these experiences to bolster your confidence and self-esteem. Everything is a learning experience.

1. Identify: Your change of environment influenced your behavior. Was it the weather? Food? . . .If not, what was it? If you have no idea, just start writing and don't stop. Your answers will surface. IDENTIFY the forces that are influencing your behavior.

2. Fix it, avoid it, or accept it.

I do plan to one day move back to Florida. The change of scenery was definitely liberating, but I want to be liberated always. not just around new people.

I know the experiences I've had recently have made me stronger as a person and far more socially intelligent. but If I don't utilize it. it's a waste. the kind of waste that is inexcusable and shameful.

My plan to put myself back on the path i want to be walking is this:
every day for the next week, I'm going to initiate 10 conversations with strangers. Don't have to be girls, I want my social spark back.

does anyone have advice on how to re-frame effectively? I've been destroying the deep seeded lies of my core beliefs every time I'm conscious of one that comes up. but I'd rather sort out my beliefs in a way that's not so... maddening.

If your not a morning person, then do this whenever: Look at your self in the mirror and say, "Dude, your the shit." Say it only once with finality, and then continue on, accepting it as a fact.

The truth is, you truly are the shit, you just don't recognize that right now.

It may not sky rocket you into some girls' pants, but it'll help your inner game. All skills accumulate with steps. Keep up the momentum and watch yourself grow over time.

lol, nice limelight. I've actually been keeping the following affirmation in my mind:
"Every woman must be a space alien, because they all want to abduct me"

Haha that made me laugh! Cool, believe it! =]